10. A Kiss Between the Books
1338 Words
I thought that after two weeks away from school, I would be strong enough to face anything unexpected. But the thing about life’s wounds is—they never arrive on schedule. They come quietly, when you’re not ready. Like that afternoon.
It was quieter than usual during dismissal. The sky outside the library window was grey, holding back rain. My head was still heavy and my steps unsteady. I was supposed to head home right away. But there was an English assignment I had to turn in, and Kevin—my English teacher—asked me to leave it on his desk in the back room of the library.
The hallway felt calm, but something inside me tightened. Like a whisper: "Don’t go there." But I didn’t listen. I pushed open the half-closed library door and slipped in silently. Quiet. Just the ticking clock and old bookshelves standing like timekeepers.
I walked between the shelves toward the back. But when I turned at the third row, I froze.
I saw my mother.
And she wasn’t alone.
She was standing very close to Kevin. Too close. Her hand touched his arm in a way that made me want to step back. But I didn’t. I stood still. Frozen.
Then I saw it.
My mother kissed Kevin.
It wasn’t just a kiss. It was a confession. A dam breaking after years of holding back. My mother closed her eyes as if trying to flee from the world, her fingers gripping the lapel of Kevin’s blazer, like she was scared he’d disappear again. Their lips didn’t meet gently—they collided in haste, in a thirst that had gone too long unanswered.
Kevin responded slowly, his hand hesitant at first, then resting on my mother’s waist. Both of them drew in a sharp breath. For a moment, the world vanished around them. That kiss was two grown-ups who had lost too much and now clung to each other as a final refuge. A silent plea. An embrace they couldn’t allow in daylight.
After their lips parted, my mother took a breath. Her eyes blinked slowly. She turned her head slightly—as if sensing someone watching. But her eyes never landed on me. She looked back at Kevin, a faint, bitter smile on her face.
I held my breath behind the shelf. My body couldn’t move. I wanted to turn away. To scream. To run. But all I did was stand. My legs stuck to the floor. My eyes burned. My chest tightened like a vice.
Maybe I imagined it. Maybe it wasn’t her. Maybe I was just tired.
But my breath grew shallow. My throat twisted. That was my mother. That was Kevin. This was real.
My hand trembled. The paper in my grasp now wrinkled without me realizing. Nausea rose in my throat. Not quite enough to throw up, but more than enough to feel my insides revolt.
Kevin’s voice was soft.
"Veronica... are you sure this isn’t a mistake?"
My mother’s voice shook. "I don’t know. But today... I feel so alone."
Kevin stroked her arm. "Me too."
I couldn’t take it. I backed away, careful not to make a sound. My heart beat loud enough I feared they could hear it. The assignment that once felt important now felt like a stone in my palm. I slipped back through the door, pushed it open, and stepped outside. Gasping.
I leaned against the library wall, trying to process what I’d just seen. My mother. A kiss. Kevin. It all felt like a scene from a nightmare I never imagined.
I thought after the divorce, the pain had peaked. But apparently, a home could c***k twice—and the second time was quieter. No yelling. No crying. Just silence. And a kiss, hidden like a dagger.
Why at school? Why the library—the place where I used to read poems Kevin recommended? Why with someone I knew and respected? Why this way?
I clutched my assignment. It felt like the last bit of dignity I had left. For a moment, I wanted to throw it all away. But instead, I stood there. Still. Until the school bell rang and footsteps filled the halls again.
Jessica waved from down the hallway. "Cell! You still here?"
I managed a smile. "Just about to leave."
She didn’t know what I saw. And I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to tell anyone.
That day, I went home with a mind full of questions and a heart further broken. For the first time, I felt like a child standing in the ruins of something massive. But it wasn’t walls that burned. It was trust. And something in me knew: my relationship with my mother had just changed forever.
Will I grow up to be like my mother? Searching for warmth behind the silence? Trading dignity for a moment’s touch? I’m scared... scared that this wound will lead me down the same path.
-------
The next day was Saturday. Late afternoon, the city felt oddly still. Jessica showed up at my apartment out of nowhere.
"There’s this get-together with my sister’s friends. Come with. It'll be fun."
I didn’t ask questions. My head was still foggy. Maybe I needed a distraction.
Ashley came too. She made it clear from the start. "I’m driving. I’m not drinking."
We arrived at a big house near the edge of town. Music pulsed through the walls, dim lights hanging low. The air smelled of alcohol and designer perfume. Jessica handed me a drink. I refused. But when she laughed and said, "Just one shot, Cell... to scare off the ghosts in your head," I gave in.
One became two. Two became... I lost count. The world blurred. And I laughed. Laughed loud. Danced a little. Threw my head back like my pain could spill out with the motion.
Ashley sat in the corner with a water bottle, watching. Not judging.
I saw two people I didn’t recognize holding each other in the corner of the room. Maybe they just wanted to forget, too. Maybe love isn’t about right or wrong anymore—just about who’s there when you fall apart.
I leaned into Jessica, breath heavy, cheeks warm. "You know, Jess... I’ve been dating Lucas. For over a month now. He said I feel more real than anyone. Even you."
Jessica froze. Her face paled.
"Am I awful?" I whispered, still half-dazed. "He came when I was empty. He came when everything was breaking."
Ashley stood quickly. "Cell, let’s go. Now."
Jessica said nothing. But her eyes raged. Her face flushed. She stood abruptly.
"Are you serious, Cell?! You dated him while I was still not over him?!"
I said nothing. My heart slammed against my ribs. My breath refused to settle.
Jessica pointed a trembling finger. "I trusted you! I thought you were my friend! You—"
She stumbled forward. I thought she might slap me. But Ashley stepped between us.
"Jess, stop. You’re drunk. You’re mad. This won’t help."
Jessica pushed Ashley away but eventually stepped back. "I’ll go home myself. Don’t follow me."
She turned and left. The door swung open, letting music spill in.
Ashley looked at me. "Come on, Cell. Let’s go."
I didn’t resist. My legs moved on their own.
-------
I woke up in Ashley’s room. Soft light from a night lamp. My hair was a mess. My head felt like a hammer struck it.
Ashley sat on the floor hugging a pillow.
"Am I horrible?" I whispered.
Ashley looked over, eyes tired but gentle. "No, Cell. You just... had bad timing. I kinda knew. From the way you two looked at each other. But I figured, it’s your life."
I bit my lip. "What about Jess?"
Ashley sighed. "Give her time. I’ll try to talk to her, okay? But for now, rest."
I nodded. That night, I cried quietly. Not for Lucas. But because I felt like I’d lost my place among the people I trusted most.
- Writer
