"Mattie," he said to me. His tone was so gentle my eyes instantly filled. I bit my lip. I hated myself. Hated my inability to keep my emotions in control. Hated that I still reacted to certain things a certain way. "Hey," he said so, so softly. I looked at him. "There's no need to keep beating yourself up over it. Okay? Give yourself time to heal."
I looked deeply into his eyes as he said this. "I could say the same thing, Mykel." Instantly he looked away, immediately knowing what I was referring to. "Mykel?" I waited for him to bring his eyes back up to mine. "I know you've been afraid that...I don't know...I'm going to...hurt myself...like Kaiden did. I've seen the looks you try to hide...the desperate questioning. The truth of the matter is that...while I have been thinking about su
