The White Feather- A story of infinite worlds

Nights in Baghdad

Tony was in his room, smoking a cigarette and looking at the ceiling, when Olivia silently entered his room. She was surprised to see him awake and turned on the light.

“I thought you would be asleep by now. Why are you sitting alone so late in the night?” Olivia said and sat beside him.

“Something dosen't seem right. This is the first big responsibility I’ve taken on my shoulders, and now I can see all the ways that this could blow, and take us down with it. Makes me sick, all these thoughts, I feel like I'm sinking....." Tony said and threw the cigarette away. He hid his face between his palms and let out a frustrated groan.

“That’s not a bad thing. Only a fool thinks that his plan is perfect. In fact, a leader who can see the loopholes in his plan is the most successful one. The key to be the best leader is to take action.” Olivia said, rubbing her hand on Tony's back. She didn’t realize it, but the sensation of her hands on his back made him feel like he was in heaven.

“What do you mean by the taking action part?” Tony asked and looked at her.

“I mean that you’ve already completed the hard part!" Olivia said.

"Which is.....?" Tony asked. He was impatient.

"Figuring out the scenarios in which our plan could go sideways. Now all you have to do is take action to prevent them from ever happening. Do you know what I mean?” Olivia said.

Tony nodded in response. Now he could see the bright side. He was amazed how Olivia managed to find a silver lining in every situation, however bad it may seem. Olivia had shifted her hand from his back to his head and began to gently muffle his hair. Tony’s eyebrows relaxed and he placed his head on Olivia’s thighs. He closed his eyes and finally felt calm.

“Where did you learn to do things like these?” He said, referring to the massage.

“Physical contact helps in releasing stress. It makes the person feel like they are in a safe space. It's only when you have a clear mind, that you can think of a solution to your seemingly unsolvable problems. 

On a more negative note, it makes you emotionally vulnerable.” Olivia explained.

“I didn’t ask what it does; I asked where did you learn it?” Tony said.

“I discovered it myself. It might be that the muscle memory from past experiences is still alive.” Olivia said and shrugged her shoulders.

The nights in Baghdad carried a magic in the cold breeze. If you go on a roof or peep out of a balcony, you won’t be able to differentiate the tops of the houses from the black sky. Due to the absence of light, the stars look much brighter and you feel like the universe is bestowing its blessing on you. The silence and the steady breeze give you a real feel of calmness. Of course, the occasional gunfights are not a very pleasant addition to these elements. And it makes you wonder, what if Baghdad was peaceful once again?

This ‘what if’ is a simple combination of two words, but its significance is much much larger than you might assume. It finds its place in the sentences of two kinds of people- the most powerful ones and also the most insecure ones. People who take risks think ‘what if I try that and it succeeds’. And people who are too lazy or afraid to take risks, regret afterwards and think ‘what if I had tried that thing and it would have succeeded’. This combination of 'what' and 'if' makes people suspect their partners of cheating on them, just as it made Tony think that Olivia could be using him to get an edge over the other teammates. It made me question the most important choice I have made in my life so far, but more on that later.

Right now, this ‘what if’ was finding its way into Tony’s head. And it was helping him to find the possible ways in which the plan could go off rails. But the thing about good leaders is, they keep a balance between thinking and over thinking. If you're not a thinker, you're stupid. Also, if you are an over thinker, then you are probably also a paranoid person. I’m not trying to say that paranoid people are a little stupid, I’m saying that they are absolutely stupid. (It’s my personal opinion, duh)

“Come on Tony, get some sleep. You have all day to figure things out.” Olivia said and yawned.

“You wanna have s*x?” Tony asked plainly.

“What the f**k?! NO! I’m not going to be your s*x doll just because you’re going through anxiety.” Olivia said sternly. She expected Tony to confront her.

“Okay…” Tony said and continued looking out through the balcony.

Now Tony was a plain man. And we both know that plain men don’t have a way with women. Women are complex, you know. A woman can absolutely agree with you in her mind, but still say the opposite to test you. That's the thing, they like to test you and see how you react. Now I’m a loser with girls, but I still know a thing or two about how their twisted mind works. But unfortunately, Tony didn’t. Strangely, this made Olivia somehow more interested in him. (twisted mind, people)

So she decided that she would be angry at him for asking such a thing to her and see if he does something to make it up to her. She ‘furiously’ went to bed, however someone might do that. Tony hardly noticed. He wasn’t one to notice small things, especially the things which weren’t important to him. He was way too busy in his mind, his thoughts travelling all the way from Ehsaan in his room to Captain Jamal in his empty house.

So he went to the roof, paced back and forth while the cigarette in his hand smoked out. And finally, in the brief moment of clarity, he threw away the cigarette butt, and walked back into the bedroom. Guess the night of Baghdad did its magic on his mind. He slept like a baby and woke up when Olivia 'angrily' placed the coffee cup on his bedside table.