Thyme's Machine

2. The Day I kissed Justin Bieber

Sorry.

That's a click-bait chapter heading right there. I always wanted to to something like that.

No, I didn't kiss the Bieb. In fact (but you already know this), he doesn't know that I exist.

While you are thinking about what it might be like to kiss those yummy lips, I'm on my way downstairs to have breakfast.

I can't figure out why Mom didn't come wake me an hour ago. She hates it when I'm late for school. Dad doesn't mind. He says he doesn't want his kids (this is confusing as he only has one kid) raised to be sheep. Mom says citizens should be responsible and considerate of others, and being late is inconsiderate.

They vote for different political parties and even support different Formula 1 drivers. Mom cheers for the Lewis and (wait for it) Dad still supports Michael Schumacker, because (Dad says), nobody else has earned his respect yet.

I don't sit with them when they watch TV. Doesn't matter whether it's sport or the news. Seriously, I'd rather go to a Russian arms conference in the Ukraine. Far safer.

I hope you are still with me. I want to show you something. I can foretell the future. I can tell you exactly what's coming when I enter the kitchen: "You are not leaving this house wearing--".

Here goes--

But no one says anything. Because no one is in the kitchen. Mom and Dad have run away from home. I heard about that once. The kids grew up and refused to leave home, so the parents just left and never told the kids where they moved to.

I'm still a kid, so they can't do that to me. So what the flying fish is going on?

Maybe it's Saturday?

It's definitely Friday, because...

Because?

Oh no!

It's Friday. We splitting into teams for the science fair projects.

I suddenly have a headache. I hate science and I hate the science fair. Seriously, who cares how fast stuff happens or why it happens? But I must be there early so I can team up with someone who likes science. I don't mind doing the dirty work. I'll cut water bottles to make terrariums or strip a computer for the precious metals. I just don't have a single scientific brain cell in my head, so I'd prefer to team up with someone like Geoff or maybe Orlanda.

The kitchen clock says that science class has just begun. It's Friday so I just missed homeroom, and if I run, I'll be okay.

Mom and Dad have some explaining to do when they get back. One of them could have dropped me off -- that would have saved some time.

Hell, no! I just had a gross thought. What if they went back to their bedroom for ... you know.

Ew!

Looks like I got my Day of Disaster. Mom and Dad are MIA (poor choice of words, sorry). I'm late for science so I may end up with Jessica Bell, the girl with no brain.

I'll just grab an apple for breakfast.

Maybe I should've worn something else. Except it's too late now, and Jessica won't even notice.