The Fae King's Ruin

Coping

While Princess Aislin and General Aelthrys battled real, tangible foes in another realm, the King of Alfheim was battling a fight of emotions. It was silly in the first place, a bit much like a first world problem more than anything, yet it hounded him so profoundly that he was at a loss for a solution.

Actually, that was not true. There was one, and yet it was impossible for him to have, at least for a handful more days.

He sighed and drank his coffee straight up before shrugging on his jacket. Pomegranate tea has been out of the question since yesterday morning due to his lack of sleep. He tossed and turned in the evenings while sluggishly following through motions in the mornings, fueled only by the nasty-tasting, black beverage all throughout. He was seriously becoming dependent on it, having no other alternative to keep himself awake and alert as he went on with his business.

Honestly, Avery wanted nothing more than to shut his brain off to everything else for as long as he could. Work did not occupy at least half of his brain. Nothing was tedious or serious enough to keep himself busy for more than just a few hours. And though he appreciated how Res and Catt were doing their best to make sure he was not alone for long stretches of time (he had a nagging suspicion that the two, despite their obvious loathing for the other, had united this time for the sole purpose of cheering him up), he only felt more miserable with how much coddling they thought he needed.

Avery missed Aislin, so much that he would avoid staring at anything that reminded him too much of her. Going to his room had become so unbearable, especially when seeing the hallway her own suite was, that he temporarily commandeered a different set of rooms on a secluded floor in a whole other wing of the palace. He had trouble interacting with her maids and he knew he was close to offending the poor girls who had nothing to do with whatever was happening to him. 

And the village at the edge of Alfheim… Oh, he felt terrible that had not been able to visit ever since Aislin left. Although he asked for reports on the building progress and had made sure they were well provided for in materials, Avery had also received word that there seemed to be a sickness plaguing them. He had sent the very best team of healers on his list and was assured it was nothing more than adjusting to the weather, but he still felt a failure even on that front.

If it was Aislin, she would have been there with them every day. She would have thought of a number of things he was probably missing in their care, and if she was here, she would have berated him already for his lack of action.

But he went on about his day, did his best despite the heavy feeling that weighed in his chest, and tried to do better. He was King, after all. Duty always did come first before anything else and that would never change, no matter what emotions filled him.

The moment he stepped out of his temporary rooms, Res’ approaching form was the first thing he saw. He tried not to groan out loud. Between Res and Catt, his best friend had more excuses to be constantly around him during the daytime that he was starting to become grating on his nerves. Avery tried not to wince at the sight of his grinning face and instead pasted a small half-smile for his friend. He really ought to be more gracious with him. After all, he was kind enough to want to help, even if it did have the opposite effect than what was intended.

“Oh, hey!” Res stopped in front of him, his eyes more azure than cerulean today. “You’re early. Have you had breakfast already?”

This time, he did not stop his eyes from rolling at him. “Yes, mother. I had a sandwich and two cups of coffee. Happy?”

“No tea yet?”

He shook his head once. “Not yet. Why are you here this early?” he asked, wanting to change the subject.

Res made a face. “I had the misfortune of running into Baron Henderly coming here. Apparently, we have not been doing a good job in entertaining the ton. Simply, they are bored; we do not want them bored, Avery. Bored nobility makes for a s**t-load of stupidity.”

Avery huffed, continuing to walk. Res matched him step for step. “Then arrange something,” he said. “Are you not good at those kinds of things? Host a party or a tournament of some sort.”

“I think that it is not so much our lack of festivities that the ton is complaining about,” Res responded. “I think it has something to do with you.”

He stopped abruptly and turned with a bewildered look on his face. “Me? What did I do now?”

Res looked at him imploringly. “They do not see you enough. You do not even take your meals anywhere now but in private quarters. You know you have to keep up appearances, even without the Princess—”

“Don’t,” he warned, cutting a glance at his friend. “Do not use her name for whatever you are scheming. If you need me to appear in anything, I will. I do not need to be manipulated into doing my duties.”

“I am not manipulating you. All I am trying to say is that everyone else around you can see you are not doing well.” His pissed off expression softened. “I just thought you needed a little reminder of what she would think if she knew you were like this.”

Avery sighed. As if he did not already know exactly how Aislin would berate him for being this way. She would be sorely disappointed in him, probably think him incapable and unworthy of his post. Yet, in her true fashion, she would be gracious and compassionate and help him overcome this weakness. He clenched his fists and lifted his eyes up to Res.

Guilt washed over him as he saw the extent of his friend’s concern for him before realizing that this was the first time Res had acknowledged how mopey he had been. Under normal circumstances, his Hand would have already bullied him into functioning normally and probably would have gotten a few insults thrown in during the process. For some reason, however, he had held back even bringing up the topic until now.

Res placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a gentle shake. “I see you, brother, and I am giving you a long leash for this is the first time you have experienced this struggle. But I highly doubt this will be the last time you will have to be apart from Princess Aislin for a length of time. You have to learn how to cope.”

He carefully took his hand and took it off his shoulder. “I appreciate your concern,” Avery said. “I truly do. But I am working on it by myself, as I feel that will be the only way I will truly learn how to be in her absence.” Standing straighter, he added, “Notify me when you have thought of something to entertain the nobles with. Better yet, let Catteline handle it. That will give her something to occupy her time with during the times when it is not her shift to watch over me.”

He proceeded to walk off, only making it a few steps before Res called out, “And where are you going?”

“Council meeting,” he shouted over his shoulder. “I will be back in a few hours.”

Avery jogged down the steps of the staircase all the way down to the ground level. He tried to smile and nod at all those he passed, wanting to seem more friendly than he had been in the past couple of days. He did not want to give Res and the others any more reason to keep worrying about him, except that perhaps his actions had caused more confusion than anything. Some were surprised by his attention or have frozen completely at the complete one-eighty that his temperament had taken. By the time he was on the second floor, his smiles had become brittle once more. The guilt had now become like a tsunami crushing him.

He focused on his breathing as he took his cloak from a footman and walked out in the still too-cold weather they were having. Even the sun shining above him, having shown itself fully for the first time in a week, did nothing to ease the negative emotions he was feeling. If anything, it only made him see how empty and hollow he felt inside, like shining a flashlight through a white balloon. 

Res was right, he knew. He needed to turn himself around before he was due to finally see Aislin again.

He walked to the bridge, entirely engulfed by his thoughts. Opening a portal to Locke Village only took half a thought from him and soon, he was enjoying the milder weather of Salem, Massachusetts. He took off his heavy, woolen cloak and made a beeline for the tall building at the center of the small village. He tried his hand at smiling at the people and the soldiers he knew again, this time receiving more forgiving looks than the ones he did back home. Albeit none of them were able to witness how unpleasant he had been, it felt good nonetheless to have respite from all the worried glances coming his way.

Up in one of the conference rooms, he was surprised to find Ella and Laurie already in attendance, alone and seeming to be quietly conversing with each other. He paused at the doorway, embarrassed to have interrupted such a moment between the two mates. He bowed.

“I apologize, I did not realize you two were here already,” he said, turning to leave, but Ella stopped him.

“No! Of course not. Please come in, Avery,” she said, smiling encouragingly.

He closed the door behind him as he stepped through, not missing the way their eyes flicked over his shoulders. Laurie glanced at his mate before looking at him. 

“Where’s your fiancée?” he asked. “Is the Princess well?”

Avery hated that he had no definitive answer to his second query, and instead saying, “Princess Aislin is back home in Mhoryga, accompanying the General to sort out the rebellion happening in the south. I have not heard from her since she left two days ago.”

Ella blinked at him with wide eyes as he sat on a chair a few seats away from them. “A rebellion?” she echoed. “Why is this the first time we are hearing of this? Have they not asked for aid?”

He shook his head. “They only received word at the last minute. My Hand, Resyvlo, had gone to Cetha to prepare for our upcoming visit to the Princess’ hometown but had come home bearing the news instead. The General was adamant that the Unseelie forces would be able to resolve the issue immediately without help.”

“Huh,” Laurie hummed thoughtfully. “Do you think that General Aelthrys is simply being optimistic? How large had the damage been?”

“It seemed bad enough to force Princess Aislin to follow her cousin to where the fighting is,” he murmured, feeling his chest ache. “I won’t know until I get there in three days’ time.”

This time, Ella’s mouth popped open. “You will still go? In the midst of them fighting a rebellion?”

Laurie’s head snapped to his mate. “And why shouldn’t he?”

“Well, he is the sovereign of a court that, up until recently, had been the Unseelie’s rival,” Ella said, the ‘duh’ implied in their somewhere as she rolled her eyes. “And from what I gather, this is the first time Aislin has been home since her brother’s defeat, correct? She has not established her foothold in her own country, yet. You will not be as protected there, Avery.”

“If it is as dangerous for me as you say, then the same principle applies to Aislin, does it not?” he asked challengingly. “The Treaty makes her my counterpart in all ways, meaning she is every bit as important as I am. And yet, Aislin is over there.”

The Queen of All Magic looked at him with pity and understanding. They shimmered underneath the respect in her eyes that made him wonder if perhaps Ella knew more than she let on. She pulled her light cardigan around her tighter.

“That is the hardest part of ruling anything, let alone two kingdoms at once, my King.” She smiled sadly, blindly reaching out a hand that Laurie instinctively caught. “You share the work with your partner, do everything together, but in the moments when it really matters— when it counts, one of you needs to stay and guard your people while the other goes on to do what must be done.”

Some obstinate part of Avery wanted to close his ears and eyes to whatever point Ella was making. He was tempted to say that she knew not of what he felt like; of the helplessness that plagued him and brought him to inaction. He knew, however, that he would be wrong. For the Queen did know what he was feeling because she had been through it— that she had been plagued by the same emotions at one point in her life.

How hard it must have been for Ella to entrust the fate of all the magical races to a human gifted only with magic despite not being magical himself. He looked at Laurie now and realized that he was experiencing merely a shadow of the pain that engulfed the prince-consort during the war when Ella was being held captive. At least Avery already had the experience of how to run a kingdom— Laurie did not. The job was literally thrust upon him and not once did he hear the human complain.

And yet here Avery was.

He ran a hand down his face. “I gave her and the General five days,” he all but whispered to them, feeling more than just shame. “She agreed that we would meet her at the Capital then.”

Laurie turned to Ella. “Realistically speaking, will they be able to clear the rebels in under that much time?”

Ella was silent for a moment, watching Avery before she answered, “Perhaps, or maybe just clear half of what territory the rebellion already has a hold on now. That will give them breathing room and an advantage.” She tilted her head to the side. “Drakos wanted to keep General Aelthrys close due to the excellent work he had done with regards to quelling what I assume is the same unrest plaguing the Unseelie Court now. If anyone knows what to do, it would be him.”

Avery nodded, agreeing with the Queen. A look passed between them, a silent reconciliation of sorts, making sure that no offense was meant. Ella did not need to make sure that he was okay, shaming himself a little, but she still did and he appreciated that. After all, at the end of the day, the Council was only meant to advise regarding local disputes. He felt nothing but gratitude that she was looking out for him.

So, he focused on the small observation Ella had given him. He was rooting for Aelthrys to own up to his reputation and the rumors of his prowess on the battlefield to bring this whole mess to a speedy completion. He had to, even if the reasons were entirely selfish on Avery’s part.