100 THINGS SUCCESSFUL LEADERS DO

02- KNOW YOURSELF

'It can be uncomfortable looking deeply at yourself in the mirror,

reflecting and acting on what's starting back at you.'

Understanding who you are is the first step to being able to lead others. This connection between knowing yourself and leading others is based upon what I refer to as our truths:

1. To truly understand another human being, you must first know yourself.

2. To successfully lead someone, you must understand who they are and what drives them.

3. Leadership ability is built on a foundation of being able to lead yourself.

4. Successful self-leadership is only possible when you understand yourself.

These four connections are shown visually below.

> > > Understanding others

Understanding yourself > > > > > Leading others

> > > Leading yourself

This chapter focuses on the first of these, with later chapters exploring the other three. We all think we know ourselves well, but few people truly do. I work with many people and rarely meet anyone who fully understands all of their own strengths, weaknesses, habits, needs, drivers, desires, motivations and values or their personality traits, feelings, emotions, biases, patterns of behavior and thinking.

Some people have no desire to acknowledge, let alone understand, why they become angry, jealous, impatient, or are scared to speak up and this failing to understand what makes you tick is dangerous. If you don't understand yourself, you risk misjudging other people, jumping to the wrong conclusions, being too harsh about others' weaknesses. If you think you're perfect, you're likely to blame other people when things don't work out as planned. Acting like this will make you an appalling leader.

Face your blind spots, no matter how dark

No one's asking you to share all of your weaknesses and bad habits openly. Just be honest with yourself and acknowledge your own mix of useful and unhelpful patterns and behaviors.

The first step to doing this is to observe yourself with your own mind. Try keeping a written journal, and go online and take one of the many free personality tests that are available, such as MBTI and DISC. Another way to ask your friends, family and close colleagues. Explain to them that you want to improve yourself and that they can help you understand some of your strengths and weaknesses. It's important that they're honest with their answers, so make sure that they know you want the truth, even if they fear it may upset you. If you're not sure what questions to ask, pick some from the list below. Ask yourself these questions too and note your answers in your journal. Compare your responses to those of your colleagues, family and friends.

* When I fail to get my way, how do I respond?

* What seems to make me angry, moody or act negative?

* When stressed or upset, how do I tend to act and behave?

* What makes me jealous and envious, and how do I show it?

* How do I treat other people when I am in a good mode, and when in a bad mood?

* What do you most love and admire about me?

* What most annoys you about the way I am?

* What one habit or behavior should I change to become a better person?