Everything is the same, down to my epidural pain meds running out right before the nurse yells at me to perform cord-loosening tricks like an exhausted and overly emotional obese circus monkey.
I had told myself that it would be different. I would move more during contractions in hopes of not letting the cord tighten around the baby’s neck. I would ask for my epidural drip to be changed prior to the time before I had to push. This time, it was supposed to be different. When you know better, you do better…right?
But it hasn’t been, and I realize that it isn’t meant to be either. Every minute of this day, both today and in my dream, was designed to make me appreciate this incredible gift.
I suppose, where time and destiny are concerned, I have some control. Sure, I could decide not to go
