The Elusive Prince

Chapter 11: Emotions

Merideth

Once again, it happened once again. That guy was always somewhere in my grasp and before I can fully take a hold of him he disappears because he once again left me unable to even move or think for a moment.

He was like a stray animal. It may come to you for a moment, maybe even let you touch them but at the end of the day, they still go away when you’re not looking because you don’t know them and they don’t know you. All you are is a passing stranger that it happened to come upon and they were the same.

That guy was like a stray. Once you see him, that was it you probably won’t see him again. Maybe if you were lucky you happened to cross paths again, but that relationship will always just be that. You see them for a moment and you don’t because you don’t know their identity. I know that comparison is stupid but can you really blame me? My brain was all over the place with that one simple glimpse that I can’t think straight.

I don’t know how long I was left standing there, still shell shocked with the one ear listening to the still blasting music from my earphone that I didn’t turn off and the other ear devoid of anything. Really even if I had the earphones on, I couldn’t hear anything other than my thoughts anyway. Thankfully, someone noticed me just standing there like a statue and approached me to snap out of it.

“Your Highness, is that you? Why are you standing there so still?” an unknown voice called unto me. I was still deaf to the world and having noticed that, the said person proceeded to shake my arm gently. Unsurprisingly the physical contact fully brought me back to where I was, standing still in the middle of the dark spots in the hallways.

“Umm I’m sorry for intruding Your Highness, but you were standing there for quite a while now, I was getting worried. Also you probably need to go back to your dorm seeing as the curfew bell is about to go off.” This kind soul timidly told me as if afraid that I would snap at her. Not that that would happen if I was okay and in the right state of my mind but that was highly unlikely now that I was almost swimming in murky waters with how deep I was in my thoughts. Instead I just looked at her with gratitude.

“I…thank you. What is your name?” I asked gently because I didn’t want her to think I was asking out of anger but also because I seem to have lost my voice for a moment. Dammit, Merideth get it together, it was not even a 10 seconds encounter, what got you so hung up about?

“Umm Nelly Anderson Your Highness.” She replied with a smile that made me momentarily forget about my problem, although after a few blissful seconds it was back.

“Thank you Nelly. We should probably get going now. As you’ve said, the curfew bell will sound soon and I don’t want you to be caught outside just because I was holding you up.” I said as we both started walking.

Nelly just nodded and walked alongside me as I try to divert my attention to asking her questions because I really needed a distraction and Nelly is a good person that helped me. Apparently, in my quest for diversion, I learned that Nelly was part of the scholarship program in Irini and is 2 years younger than me. She was very pleasant to talk to too, although I can tell she was nervous around me at first but she relaxed the more we talked.

Seeing as the walk to the dorm from the hallways was quite long, we covered a lot of base and by the time we reached the dorms, with her going to hers, I already got her number for more talks and also around that time, my head was back to that guy again.

As I suspected, a little conversation will not let it go away. Dammit, and just when I was getting over it he showed up out of the blue just to kick me back into the rabbit hole of questions. The gods must hate me, enough for them to send him on the exact moment where I was just relaxing or maybe, that guy made it his duty to remind me that he existed. I don’t know if that was even possible but anything is possible nowadays.

I was a little lightheaded as I enter the dorm, trying so hard to harden my facial expression because I just know that if ever someone sees me so confused or all over the place, it will make them really worried and they will for sure swarm around me trying to ask me if I was okay or what they can do to help.

As much as I love all of them, I didn’t want to talk to anyone about this or even let them know that I was feeling any emotion that wasn’t positive or snarky. No that would break my image and even if I know they would accept all my flaws, I just didn’t want to show weakness because I was one of the pillars in class and if the pillar was weak and falls, the whole thing would collapse, so no, they can’t know that I was troubled.  Besides, I was used to hiding my true emotions, so much so that they know me in person but not personally.

As I finally head inside, I see Sir Hexford on the scanner where we login and logout everyday to show that we are in fact alive and wasn’t abducted by aliens or something. There were only a few people on it right now, swiping the identification card that we were given and a scanning their fingerprint on the scanner so that no one can fake being inside if they weren’t. It used to happen alot before but after one incident that happened which led to someone in danger, they decided to tighten the security and use our fingerprints in addition to the card for verification.

Hailey was currently one of the people lining and was currently in conversation with Ava who was also trying to include Kairo who was talking with Cassian and Levine. They must be talking to Cassian about how it works and stuff, although I think he must have already been oriented about it when he first came in but oh well I guess they still tried to tell him about it.

Upon seeing me come closer to the line and Sir Hexford eyeing at me, maybe thinking why I just arrived when I should’ve been here ages ago. I would’ve but that didn’t happen because I was stuck in trance in the middle of the hallway for who knows how long. Well long enough that Nelly decided to approach me.

I just gave him an apologetic look and he seems to understand because he just nodded and stuck his chin to the line, telling me to line up and login too. I nod as confirmation and began approaching the line. As soon as Hailey spotted me, she was immediately beside me, abandoning her conversation with Ava who was also looking at me now.

“Your Highness, I was just about to go out after you. We were all worried when you still weren’t here 20 minutes ago. I thought something happened already.” Hailey fussed over me as she slowly circled me as if to check if I was injured or something. Thankfully I wasn’t, at least physically, only mentally and emotionally but she doesn’t need to know that.

“And I kept telling her you were fine Mori. Gosh, Hailey worries so much its surprising sometimes.” Ava giggled as she also approach us. The boys who were also talking seemed to stop for a bit to look at me.

“It’s because it’s her job. Also I’m more surprised that you weren’t worried Ava. I’m hurt that you don’t care enough to question why I wasn’t back sooner.” I teased her as she just giggled even more, clearly amused by my statement.

“Why didn’t you ask me Mori? I was worried about you too you know. Are you glad?” Kairo magically included himself in the conversation to flirt but I was too deep in thought right now to even care so the immediate response that he will get would be sass.

“I didn’t ask you Kai. And no I’m not glad.” I said but clearly showing that I wasn’t really serious as he once again feigned hurt. Levine at the back just snorted at the rejection to his obvious flirting and tapped him on the shoulder to comfort him.

“But why are you back so late Merideth? Did something happen? You look like you’ve seen something out there.” Cassian surprisingly asked and why did he have to ask that? Also how come he seems to know that I was troubled? Was it showing? No that’s not right. Hailey and Ava would’ve reacted if it did and besides I was an expert when it comes to hiding my emotions unless of course I slipped but that was a small chance. So how come he knows?

“Maybe Mori saw a ghost or something. You know how there was a rumor that a ghost roams around the school park at night. Maybe she saw it and was too spooked to move so that’s why she was late.” Levine joked which earned a few snorts from Kairo and Ava as they tell him that he was a kid for ever believing about such silly rumors especially rumors about ghosts. But somehow, Levine was right.

I did see a ghost, just not how you would expect it to be. A ghost is a mystery that was either there and you didn’t notice or you saw it but convince yourself that there wasn’t. What I saw was a ghost of the person that haunted me in my dreams for nights now and never left me alone. He was a ghost that makes his presence known and after a few seconds will vanish but that chance encounter will leave you with a heart full of questions as to if what you really saw was true or was it just wishful thinking. A ghost was a better analogy than that stray thingy I was talking about earlier, so thanks Levine.

Since I was in deep thought, I didn’t exactly notice that they were beginning to joke again and wanting to include me as they ridiculed Levine but upon noticing that I was in a trance, they were beginning to worry as I wasn’t responding. I only knew about this though when Cassian tapped me as he broke me out of my trance and I come face to face to them looking at me worried. We were just staring at each other, not moving nor speaking until Levine decided to break the tense silence surrounding us.

“Holy s**t Mori, don’t tell me you actually saw a ghost? Heh see Ava I was probably right. You could go and cry on the corner now.” Levine teased although what he got in return was just a laugh as Ava slapped him in the arm.

“No, I didn’t see a ghost Levine. Although I did see the ugly face of Kairo so I was just reminded at how ugly he is at night.” Yes, I am in fact throwing Kairo under the bus again because why not right? I can see that they were just laughing.

“Really Mori? Why am I the answer to every single one of your problems nowadays?” he pouted as he really is currently the outlet of all my problems and I know it’s bad but I get to clear my mind for a few moments as I direct my thoughts elsewhere and also I know Kai didn’t really mind being an outlet because well we get laughs and he likes being the source of joy for the people he loves.

“It’s because you’re problematic Kairo and basically the best outlet out there.” Ava as expected backed me up. We all just laughed particularly me, in relief, because their attention was shifted now and also I was given time to divert my attention too although not that much but hey at least that wasn’t the only thing on my mind now. 

“Well at least you’re looking vibrant now Mori. I don’t mind being your outlet if it means you get to smile.” Kairo unexpectedly and sincerely told me while being in a playful chokehold under Levine which earned a few whistles to ring out around the room at his sweet statement. I just gave him a smile because he knows just how to make me smile even in the simplest things and simple actions and is very chill about being the target of my teasing all the time. That’s one of the reasons why I liked him. Although I wouldn’t really say I love him in a romantic way because I see him as more of like a close friend more than anything, but if I was to be wed out of necessity when I fail to find someone to love and choose to be my partner for life and if that someone is him, I wouldn’t be mad about it because I know Kairo just cares so much to the people he deems close to him and that’s endearing and I know having someone like him in your life would be very lucky. 

“Of course, that’s because you are a clown by nature Kai. Although, thank you.” I smiled at him which earned a few howls and tease to ring out by the people around lining too and Kairo just smiled just as bright at me.

“Okay that’s enough from you two. You’re too sweet my sugar levels are high at the moment and I haven’t even eaten anything sweet today.” Ava interrupted us, teasing us but also stopping the rounds of teasing about us getting together already as they switched to complaining about the possible ant infestation in the building just because of our overflowing sweetness.

Yeah right, these people are really exaggerating stuff out because they have nothing better to do. And I’m pretty sure they just want us to be together because there still wasn’t any couples in our class although that would be weird because we grew up together and who would want to be together with someone you almost consider as your sibling right? Although I’m pretty sure there would be someone in class who would, judging by the lingering looks some of us are giving to someone in class but I wasn’t one of those and I’m also not willing to expose who was because where’s the fun in that? I would like to see them take up the courage to actually confess but until then, me and Kairo would probably be the object of these guys teasing.

After the little teasing and us finally moving to scan our ID’s because Sir Hexford came bounding in the line because in his words, “Why are you brats taking so much time to scan? Hurry up so I can go to bed.” as we hurriedly scramble to login as we continue to laugh about random things.

As we all finally got scanned and dispersed to our respective rooms, I decided to stay and go to the kitchen for a moment to get some water. We don’t cook our meals in the kitchen but it was still essential especially because some of us, like Helena, likes to bake and cook on her free time so having a kitchen was essential for snacks and stuff.

I went to grab a glass of water and went to the fridge to get a snack as I sit down on the counter to quell both my thirst and hunger because of my walk earlier.

I was eating with my head empty, devoid of any thoughts thankfully, that I didn’t notice someone walk in on the kitchen and went to grab something from the fridge but closed it only after a few seconds. I glance at the person and was surprised to see Cassian standing still in front of  the fridge.

“Hey were you looking for something?” he seemed surprised that I acknowledged his presence as he looked at me with blown up eyes. He then went to sit down opposite of me on the counter.

“Nothing, I was just a little hungry and I forgot to bring food and I couldn’t possibly take anyone’s stuff as they were clearly labeled in there.” He pointed to the fridge that he was just looking at earlier. I snorted as I realized that the reason why he closed the fridge after just opening it was because he didn’t have anything on there. I think I need to go shopping with him for snacks later. Although we have to wait for Saturday because the school doesn’t usually sell snacks in here and only provide meals for us so every Saturday we were allowed to go outside and buy stuff that we needed and fancied from outside. 

I stood up and headed for the fridge where I had an abundant supply of snacks because I was always hungry especially in the middle of the night when I wake up from one of my episodes. I always come down at night to grab some snacks because we didn’t have a separate fridge in our room for some reason other than the fact that one time Luna smuggled a ton of ice cream and was almost sent to the hospital because she ate too much. After that we were banned from having our own fridge in our room and only have a shared one where our teacher can monitor the stuff we put there.

I grabbed one of my favorite cookies that was in a jar and put in the middle of the table. He just looked at it as if it was an alien. I laughed as I urged him to take some from the opened jar of goodies. 

“Here have a cookie. Also if you want we can go shopping for snacks on Saturday which is the only day we are allowed outside of school on regular school days.” I offered as I sat back down again and grabbed one of the cookies in the jar I just gave him. As if he confirmed that I offered, he took a cookie and began munching too.

We sat in comfortable silence as we were downing down the cookies in the jar. I thought the silence will stay but Cassian decided to interrupt that.

“Hey umm, I know it’s not my place to say this seeing as we’re still relatively new to each other but just know that if you also need to talk to someone about your problems or just anything, you can talk to me right? This goes both ways.” He said as he fidgeted in his seat as if afraid of my reaction. But what he didn’t know was that I almost melted at that. Why the heck are people so freaking kind to me today? Was this the gods way of repaying me for giving me a massive headache today because if it was I guess it was fine.

“Aww that’s so sweet Cassian. I’m a little shy that the new guy would do that for me but anyways thank you for offering. I appreciate it” I smiled at him sweetly and he just blushed a little which made his eyes glow under the dim lights of the kitchen.

“Umm I’m glad that you’re indifferent when I’m clearly still new but yeah I really hope you do approach me... I mean also see me as someone that you can lean on because I really really want to be your friend.” He bowed down as if shy which I think he is because who the hell wouldn’t be after that? That is so freaking adorable!

“Aww thank you Cassian and also you can also talk to me whenever okay? Also you probably are already my friend and that’s not just because you were entrusted to me but because you seem like someone I can trust so rest assured.” I said and I saw him mumble something under his breath but I couldn’t make it out seeing as he had his head down but that’s okay. He looked up and gave me a smile and we settled into comfortable silence again as we munched the remaining cookies on the jar.

As the night closed in and it was getting late already, me and Cassian finally finished the rest of the cookies and decided to go back in our rooms already. He gave me one last smile and reminder that he was there to listen and I just gave him a smile in return and told him I was too. As we part ways, my head was clearer than earlier and instead of the thoughts about the mysterious guy occupying my mind, I can’t help but think about how sweet Cassian was and how my classmates were too. Just that thought made my heart swell in joy as I settle down in my bed after saying goodnight to Hailey and changing in my pajamas.

For the first time since that night, I slept peacefully and not with a head full of questions and confusion but instead I slept with a peace of mind and a calm smile.

“Showing your emotions isn’t too bad once in a while.” Was my last thought before finally succumbing to the exhaustion I felt for this day.