Let Me Down Slowly
1348 Words
#1
"This night is cold in the kingdom. I can feel you fade away."
Tik tok.
Raindrops fell lightly on the window pane.
Rustling.
The hem of someone's long skirt brushed the ground, and the sound seemed to last forever.
The man sleeping in the armchair woke up. He blinked at first, an unconscious act of regaining sanity. The cold air around the room contributed to his wakefulness.
The man sat up straight. He wanted to stand up, but his mind was too dizzy. He frowned, glancing out of habit to the only easel in the room.
On the white background is a girl in the middle of the drawing. She has shoulder-length hair, leans against the window, looks back, and smiles. That smile was too vague. The man gathered all his strength to stand up, step by step, closer to the painting to see the girl's face.
Who is that?
Rustling.
The sound that seemed to have been forgotten returned, louder and louder.
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#2
"From the kitchen to the bathroom sink, your steps keep me awake."
The sound of skirt flaps on the ground, like a knife gliding over the heart.
The man frowned deeper.
He shook his head, trying to shake off the lingering pain. He staggered, like a drunkard, walking towards the door. Put your hand on the handle, use force to twist it.
Tim tok.
The door opened. Warmth comes.
The man shivered slightly. He hadn't realized how cold the room was.
The warmth woke him up. He held his breath, listened to the rustle earlier, and followed him gently.
After a moment of dozing, he suddenly realized that he had just entered his kitchen.
A black-haired girl with a long white dress was already standing in the kitchen, cooking something. The man cleared his throat.
The girl was a little startled, turned to look at him. Moments later, she smiled and said softly, "Sorry, did I wake you up?"
The man looked at her intently. He tried to draw the outline of her face in his mind. But helpless.
Too vague.
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#3
"Don't cut me down, throw me out, leave me here to waste."
The first sentence a man wants to say is: "Who are you?"
But instead, he said: "I was so busy painting that I fell asleep, I was so hungry late at night that I woke up, I don't know if I have anything to eat?"
The girl looked at him affectionately and tolerantly. As soon as he finished speaking, she immediately burst into laughter, then softly replied, "I know it's going to happen anyway, you go to the table and sit down."
Self-consciously, the man sat down at the table. Moments later, late-night dishes were served. Nothing too outstanding, just a plate of egg-fried rice. But the taste is delicious.
The man eats deliciously. The girl sitting next to him quietly watched him eat, smiling gently.
Then the food ran out. And the dishes have been washed
The man leaned back in his chair, feeling so comfortable, so comfortable that he just wanted to stay in this moment forever. The girl sitting opposite her chin was looking at him, not saying anything.
"This guy."
Her voice suddenly rang out, pulling the man out of his slumber.
"What are you?"
She smiled softly, laughter like a hook in his heart.
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#4
"I once was a man with dignity and grace."
"What if one day you're not here with me anymore?"
The man leaned forward slightly. The light in the kitchen is a blue-yellow. It's like echoing back from a distant past.
He wanted to reach out and gently touch her hair. But the heart did not dare.
It seemed he had met her somewhere. Perhaps it was in the dream that still weighed heavily on his soul.
The man suddenly remembered his first portrait.
The afternoon sun danced on the foliage adorned with crimson roses. The high school student shook his hand and gently plucked the flower, offering it to the girl in front of him.
"Can you model my portrait?"
Her friend's earlobes were slightly red, and she shyly accepted the rose.
"Okay."
You are my first muse—the last and only.
The artist cannot lose his muse.
Under the yellow kitchen lights, the man heard his voice whisper.
"I'll be with you forever."
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#5
"Now I'm slipping through the cracks of your cold embrace, so please, please..."
Their wedding took place quietly. No cakes, no parties. There are only two people, and the priest represents God.
The painter put a ring on his muse and couldn't help lifting her hand to his lips and kissing it.
"I love you. I love you. My muse."
His muse laughed.
They used to have happy days.
Suddenly, one day, the artist couldn't hold his pen. One day his soul was no longer full of flowers and sunshine. One day his inspiration was exhausted like sand flowing through his fingers.
Even though his muse was standing in front of him, he couldn't draw anymore.
But what has left of the muse if not the artist's inspiration?
Answer: Nothing more.
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#6
"Can you find a way to let me down slowly?"
The painter couldn't even realize that his muse was slowly falling into the beast's arms. The monster growled fiercely in the darkness. People call it by the beautiful name "depression."
In front of him, she was always smiling and cheerful like the sun that year. She would curl up in his lap every night before she fell asleep, speaking softly.
"I'll be inspired soon. I have you, don't I?"
The painter hummed, lightly perfuming his hair. But he didn't realize she was saying that to himself.
In places the painter couldn't see, his muse would stare at the blank sheet of paper on the easel. Then she would burst into tears.
Did your artist no longer love you?
One day, when the tears stopped falling, she suddenly realized that she was holding a pencil sharpener to cut her wrist. Strangely, she felt no pain.
The muse panicked and quickly dropped the knife.
No, she didn't want to leave her painter.
She can't.
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#7
"If you're leaving, baby, let me down slowly."
The girl in the white dress smiled when she heard the man's answer. With red lips, she smiles, but with black eyes, she cries.
"It's been a long time. I stopped saying I love you."
The man was startled. Heart aching. But he couldn't put it into words.
"I should have answered: I will love you forever."
Suddenly, the girl stood up. The sound of pulling the chair against the wooden floor creates a shrill sound.
She bent slightly, then placed a respectful kiss on the corner of the man's mouth.
"But I still love you."
That moment was so painful. The man closed his eyes as if doing so would keep her figure in front of him forever.
The night wind blew in from the window. The cold wind cut through his face, causing the man to wake up.
He was still sitting in the kitchen. But the girl he loved was no more.
The bottle of anti-depressants she used to take lay neatly in front of him. It was strange that the man hadn't been able to find it while the girl was alive.
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#8
The man turns off the TV. The villa returned to its original quietness.
He returned to their bedroom, picked up the sleeping pill bottle on the table, and shoved it into his mouth.
The easel he moved into the room stood still at the end of the bed.
The artist lay down and looked up at the painting one last time.
On the easel, his muse was smiling shyly under a bed of crimson roses.
A year after she committed suicide, the artist finished his final drawing. It is also the first painting after three long years since he started writing.
"I will love you forever."
My muses.
The artist slowly closed his eyes.
the end
- Writer
