Avoiding Aiden

Chapter 1: On Being Dumped

Chapter 1: On Being DumpedBeing dumped f*****g sucks.

Seriously, I know everyone knows that, but it does things to you. Makes you question your sanity, whether you were ever in a good place with this person, and whether you’ll ever be able to find love again—or if you even found it with them in the first place.

Plus, now you have to deal with the fallout. Our friends, our family—hell, even our neighbors either need to know or will soon know. I find myself dreading that awkward run-in at the grocery store. I can imagine it now.

“Oh, hey, Aiden! How’s it going?”

“Oh, great, literally anybody in my nightmare! Just picking up a few last-minute things for dinner.”

They smile, and I can see their question coming from a mile away. “Same here. Hey, how’s Carter doing?”

As they say his name, time seems to slow down. I can hear their distorted voice and see every line in their lips move as they grind down on the R’s in his name.

“Carrrrrrrterrrrrrrr.”

I gulp. I’m all sweaty, but I try to look calm. I drop the box of noodles, or an onion. Yeah, something round that rolls away, so I can run out of line and make it even more unbearably horrific.

I stoop to pick up the onion and get back in line. I tell them the truth.

“Carter and I broke up.” That sounds mutual. I could be a little more honest. “Carter broke up with me. We were both really unhappy. Well, he was more unhappy than I was.” True confessional time? Imagine me sobbing on their shoulder. “He dumped me and broke my heart and now I don’t know what I’m going to do!” Yes, I see you staring at me, old lady with the wide, scared eyes.

Who it is that I’m telling about our breakup doesn’t matter. Their faces keep changing. It’s my mom. No, my dad. But…it couldn’t be them. Now it’s my sister, Sarah, her lip piercing glinting in the harsh lighting of the supermarket.

“I told you to treat him better. You need to own your mistakes, brother.”

Now it’s my other sister, Shenoah. She flips her long hair over her shoulder.

“f**k that guy. He was never good enough for you. He always got jealous when you went out and danced with other guys. Like, how insecure can you be? My husband loves being with me, and I love being with him, and we love being with other people. Did Carter ever do that for you? No. So good riddance.”

Then it’s Brett, the oldest in our family. “Listen, little bro. You gotta realize that you never even gave yourself a chance to be single after…high school. When mom and dad…You went right into relationship after relationship. You need to be good being with yourself before you can be with someone.”

It turns into Riley, my other brother. “Maybe it was meant to be, but maybe this is also what you guys need? Get some time apart to miss each other, and then it will work out. If you’re supposed to be together, you’ll be together. In the meantime, have you met…?”

Of course, this is all in my head. I didn’t go to the grocery store. I haven’t even left Carter’s house. I’m still sitting outside the duplex in my new car, bawling my eyes out and wanting to go back inside. But going back inside would mean addressing all the things he said to me, and…

I’m not ready. I can’t do that.

Water droplets began to hit the windshield.

“Seriously, God? You’re going to make it rain right now? It seriously needs to be raining right—”

The droplets stopped. Then they hit the windshield again. I leaned forward and saw that his neighbor had started the sprinkler.

I looked at the roof again. “Faking me out again, huh, God? Your sense of humor is f*****g twisted. I should have known it was—you’re the brain behind the platypus. And love.”

I wiped my eyes and pulled out my phone, firing off a simple message to my friend Elyse. I told her I was on my way, and not to say anything to Charlie, my other friend who was performing tonight. Elyse was also my roommate in our little off-campus quadplex.

“Guess I’m going to the gay bar tonight.” I pushed the button to start the car and put my hands on the wheel, only then noticing the shining silver ring on my right ring finger.

It was a basic sterling silver ring we’d had made by Carter’s friend, Rianne. She did metallurgy and stuff like that, so she made us square promise rings this last Christmas.

Who knew it was going to be our last Christmas? Fresh tears started as I finally pulled away from the curb of his duplex. I took off the ring and put it in the glovebox.

I got to thinking as I drove the ten minutes to the bar. Maybe I could get a dog now? Carter never wanted one. He didn’t want to deal with all the hair. I even told him we could get a breed that doesn’t shed, but he wasn’t having any of it. He said dogs are messy, and they drool, and they’re needy. I couldn’t have dogs in my apartment, so it would have to have been his. At least now he’s not stuck with an animal he doesn’t like.

He said he was a cat person. Maybe I should have known.

Oh, God, okay, calm your t**s. It’s not like I hate cats or hate cat people. In my own personal experience, cats are assholes. They want your love and affection, so you pet them, and then they sink their teeth into your hand. They also just put their gross little buttholes on everything. Who needs a pet like that? So emotionally volatile. I am emotional enough, okay?

So, a dog. Maybe a small one, like a Yorkie or something. One I could pick up? I’d want one that’s really cuddly. I like my cuddles. Carter was always really good at cuddles—sometimes he was too cuddly. Like, I just want to hold hands right now, okay? Is that enough for you, you cold-hearted, ego-maniacal windbag?!

That’s right, you’re a windbag. You are full of so many opinions and thoughts and “I know better, so I’m going to speak to you in a pompous tone and look down on you because that makes me feel better about myself.” What was it Riley had called him? s**t, I can’t remember.

I wasn’t going to text him now. I wasn’t about to drop all this drama in his lap. Thank God social media didn’t do the “Relationship Ended” posts anymore. Our relationship would go away. Poof.

Or, maybe it would be better to post about it. Sarah would be pissed that I didn’t text her or call her first. Even Brett would be a little put off. I could hear him. “We’re closer than that, little bro.”

Yeah? Then stop calling me “little bro,” even though I am, in fact, your little brother. You’re more like my younger uncle anyway. You’re sixteen years older than me, dude. Well, it was probably a good thing he was so much older than me. That way, after…well, after everything happened, he was there for me. Plus, his wife was awesome.

Jini was a kindergarten teacher, so she had an amazing amount of patience. After I moved in at the end of my junior year in high school, she would make sure we had a family meal together, which usually turned out to be her and me eating while Brett was doing some numbers thing at his accounting firm. And we had some great talks.

I’d have to tell her about being dumped, too. Who else did I have to tell? When did I have to tell them? Who was going to be there for me?

I put my car in park and sat in the lot of the bar for a moment, wiping my eyes again. Why was I thinking about Mom and Dad right now? The timing matched up, I guess—the second week of May. And I guess the questions I was asking then were similar to now.

I pulled down the visor and scrutinized my reflection. God, I looked like someone had b***h-slapped me in the eyes a bunch of times. I glanced at the clock. The show was supposed to start at nine, and it was now half past, so I’d imagine the show was only now starting. Charlie’s shows never started on time.

I got out of the car, the fresh evening air hitting my face. I was a week away from finishing my junior year of college. This was completely the wrong time for all of this to be happening. Carter knew that. I guess he didn’t care.

I made my way to the door and presented my ID to the bouncer, a large woman either named Jenny or Jessica. I couldn’t remember which.

“Hey…Aiden, right? How’s it going? Here for the show?”

I handed her the money. “Yep. And I’ll let you know how it’s going after I’ve had a drink.”

She nodded, looking wise. “One of those days? I hear ya. Tell the bartender your first drink is on Olivia.”

“Wow, thanks!”

I made my way through the crowd to the bar. Okay, so I wasn’t even close with her name. I ordered a Coconut Rum Sunrise and scanned the crowd. The host for the evening, a bearded drag queen named Lady Orgazma Surprise, was on stage telling a few jokes. I spotted Elyse sitting at one of the high top tables and quickly made my way over to her.

“Hey! I’m glad you decided to come out. I’m sorry about what happened.” She struggled to stand and give me a hug. Her Cerebral Palsy was dominating her tonight, apparently. I moved to steady her but she slapped away my hand. She finally managed to stand and give me a hug, then plopped down on the stool. “So, what exactly—oh, okay.”

I had grabbed my drink and chugged it, then I grabbed her drink and chugged it as well.

“Are we talking about it?”

“Nope, we’re drinking about it.”

“I’m shocked you don’t want to talk about it. Shocked, I say.”

I was about to answer when Lady Orgazma’s words caught my ears. “Please, welcome to the stage…Ivana Cutabitch!”

Elyse and I applauded and cheered as our friend Charlie’s alter ego stepped out on stage. Her long sparkly dress was complemented by her sparkly silver platform heels. Probably a size sixteen in women’s or something. Her large blonde wig was styled like Jackie O, and in her hand waved a little American flag.

“This one goes out to all my black, indigenous, and other POC people! Give me a shout if you’re sick of being gunned down for the color of your skin!”

The crowd cheered. It was a fairly small crowd, but they had plenty of volume.

Ivana’s long arm pointed right at me. “This one goes out to my friend, Aiden. He’s recently dumped, and looking to be humped. Baby, you say you’re a vers, but we all know better. And f**k Republicans!”

And his favorite song, “f**k You,” began to play.

I stared accusingly at Elyse.

“What?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “I didn’t say anything. He saw the text.”

Dammit, Charlie. No matter the problem, he thought f*****g it would solve it. I glanced around and saw a few guys looking at me like I was a piece of meat.

Great. Guess I was holding my bladder tonight, because I was not going into the bathroom after that announcement.