Eleven
Fatigue creeps. I want to say “the fatigue”. I most certainly want it not to creep. It affects how I react. When I’m not polite, when I’m angry and let that anger out through the floodgates of my mouth, that’s a bit more of the fatigue, and a bit of me fighting that damned fatigue.
I got a letter from Bettina. It took two weeks to reach me. She was telling me about fellowships to that place in Robertson. Why does it tire me to even think that if I hadn’t applied earlier, I would’ve missed it? And that I’ve missed it anyhow. Not knowing means I can’t’ve got it.
If I weren’t so very damned tired, it’d just be funny. I’d ring Bettina and say haha lookwhathappened.
I wish I could sleep off the fatigue pain carries.
I need to remind myself that this week I’m better than last week an
