Woe
1410 Words
SOFIA
My stepmother is a little strange and sometimes I don't understand her. She can be nice if she wants but most times she is in a bad mood and just gets angry easily and for no reason. It confuses me, that she stopped being nice after the death of my dad, she probably found it harder to cope without him than I do and thus, I had to be strong for us both. She literally became intolerable and seldom spoke kindly to me. It doesn't happen often and when it does, I always knew to prepare for her inevitable outburst, which would be unbearable. I don't resent her for this, she was trying to cope and was teaching me independence and a better version of myself, at least that was what she told me, I had no reason to doubt her, and she would never lie to me. The last thing I want is for her to think I don't appreciate everything she has been doing for me so far. After the death of my dad, I knew I had to do more to make her like me better. She is, after all, my stepmother and legal guardian. I was still too young to be on my own and dependent on her to go live without her in my life. The death of my dad wasn't sudden at all, he was ill for a few weeks, before giving up the ghost one day, I came home from school to find him gasping for air on the kitchen floor. I couldn't carry him alone and Veronica was upstairs, ransacking everywhere in the house, probably instead of getting him to the hospital. I don't know what she was looking for but as soon as she saw me, she left everything and dragged me with her to the bank, leaving my dying father on the floor. I was made to sign a few documents as those would be used to save his life. I knew she was lying, but I wanted to save my father's life desperately so I did as was told. By the time we got home, he was already dead and Veronica couldn't care less. She gave me her mobile phone to call an ambulance and told me what to say.
I was given a strict warning on what would happen if I deviated from saying it exactly as I was told. That was seven years ago. I am older now, but I still couldn't bring myself to tell anyone about what really happened that day. After his death, she told me he owed some companies a lot of money and convinced me of the need to sell the house which we did, the proceeds from the sale were then used to pay off most of my father's debt. Because the house was listed under my name, and I am not an adult yet, I was made to sign all my rights to her. I never had reasons to question what the money was used for. The one time I asked, she told me I was an ungrateful child, and that I would be taken to a foster home if I continued to question her. I didn't want to go away from her so I stopped asking. I knew it was wrong, but I needed her never to leave me, she was all I had left. She is my mum and I love and accept her no matter what. When the house got sold, she had us move to a small suburban county. Life there was a little slower compared to the city. Even though I am on my best behavior every time around Veronica, she always has a thing to complain about. Sometimes, I wanted to run away from her and be on my own, but every time I walked up the courage to do that, she always managed to find out and found ways to guilt-trip me into staying with her a little longer. I would tell myself it was just for a day more and then another until I eventually stopped trying to escape and just stayed stuck with her. Even when I decided to go to college for my degree, I had unsurprisingly chosen the free college in my neighborhood which would allow me to stay close and go from home. I never had any friends, didn't think I needed one. I didn't even know how to express myself publicly, so I kept to myself most of the time and kept my head down in order not to get noticed. Veronica taught me long ago the dangers of opening up to strangers and I believed every word. She warned that once I let people in my heart, they would destroy me, and she has evidence of people in bad relationships to back up her claim. I have never had reasons to doubt her, so I believed everything she told me, even though I am all grown now, to me she is always right. In school, I am a fairly average student, I do not stand out too much. During class projects, I was one of those who rarely said anything but brought in results, many liked to join my group and just dump their workload on me but I don't mind, it keeps me busy and that's okay. Every time I get invited to a party or something, I always find reasons to bail. Once, I snuck out of the house when I thought Veronica wasn't paying attention and went to this party because the boy, Josh, was very cute and nice, I think I had a little crush on him too. At the party, I felt like the odd one out, and just went I thought things couldn't get any weirder, one fool thought it was best to start a strange game where a bottle is spun and all kinds of questions were asked. Anyone who couldn't answer or chose not to respond would be made to drink some scary-looking liquid. I didn't want to be a part of it because I was nervous, but somehow the bottle pointed at me at the next spin and everyone stared at me as Josh picked one of the folded papers to read out the question.
"Okay, this one is easy," he said giddily, "Who was your first kiss?" he read. I knew he didn't mean any harm, it was just a game, but all my classmates present here were either already in a relationship or getting hooked now and again, while I, on the other hand, didn't even have a boyfriend, never had, but that was beside the point. My first kiss was taken rather aggressively from me when I was just fourteen, by one of my stepmother's numerous men. I reported this of course to Veronica at the time, but she blamed me instead, and when it happened again, the culprit took more than just a kiss. I couldn't tell anyone because Veronica said no one would believe me. It was a painful experience and I haven't gotten over it yet.
I looked around the room, they were all staring at me, "If you don't want to answer, just take a sip out of the cup, and we will continue," someone said but my vision was becoming blurry at this point, and before I knew what was happening, I heard Veronica's voice it was a little far away but unmistakable. She kept shouting at the top of her lungs, I could not hear what she was saying, but I felt myself getting dragged away by her and when we got back home, I received the worst beating of my life, thank God it was a Friday night and there was no school on the next day, or it would be difficult to explain why I got the black eye.
At school the following week, everyone avoided me completely. If I thought I was inconspicuous before and that no one noticed me. Now was much worse, everyone whispered about how my stepmother embarrassed me at their party. Apparently, she told everyone I was carrying a curse and could jinx anyone who came too close, I don't think they believed, they had reasons to avoid me now. And for those who wanted to be close to me, I put them at arm's length, never again would I be asked such questions and put in a tough spot.
- Writer
