MILES AWAY

V- Inure

V- Inure

Inure/ɪˈnjʊə,ɪˈnjɔː/verb

accustom (someone) to something, especially something unpleasant.

Manya rubbed her temple and sighed bitterly as her eyes went over to the busy road on the other side of the glass wall.

A disarray of cars on the street giving rise to a never-ending traffic jam, people on a hurry, moving from here to there, a fast motorbike on the verge of accident, everything suited the life and scenery of a city life.

A chaos.

Her mind was no less than that. A pure mess.

Thoughts flooded her head, some of which she didn't want to fill her mind with. Her eyes went over to the table at the other end of the café.

Her eyes stuck to the elderly couple. It seemed to be unreal how their aura, their presence screamed affection, care and mostly love.

Not only her, but every person in that café, at least once, if not more, had had this thought.

It is true that little things in life teaches us some values that the wisest can't explain.

Her eyes met the elderly woman. Having being caught, she quickly turned her head.

The sandwich which she ordered long ago lied on the table. Her coffee cup was empty and she had been here for the past 20 mins but still she didn't seem to gain any ounce of energy.

"What's wrong with you today huh?" Rhea, the friendly barista that she had come to know from the past two years mumbled.

"Oh nothing. Just lost my appetite" She didn't know how but Rhea seemed to understand that something was up with her today.

She picked up the coffee cup and left Manya in her own little bubble. A complete contrast to Rhea's regular sassy and chirpy behaviour.

She had been hungry for quite some time, so, she needed to have something in her stomach.

Tearing open the plastic, she bit onto the bread.

From the corner, her eyes noticed the departure of the couple.

Just when they were about to cross the door, the lady looked back at Manya and her lips shaped into the most beautiful smile she had ever seen, as if to tell her that everything would be fine. Something which was bothering her would definitely go away as the harshest times is accompanied by the most beautiful forever.

And Manya couldn't help but smile back and, to say, it was a real one.

Ping!

A new notification

Hey

Somehow the message itself seemed to have lost its motive.

Just only two days ago, this message could have lifted up her entire mood, but now it was all confusion and sadness.

She didn't reply.

Maybe she was being pricey, maybe she was being childish but getting over the feeling of losing him when she didn't even have him in the first place, took a toll on Manya.

She thought about how awkward and boring their conversation would be from now on and it was just, because of her. She just couldn't keep her feelings controlled.

"Just because I'm not wanted, doesn't mean that we won't be friends, right?" She thought.

She'll try, for now and as long as she could.

But how can she be friends with someone she loves?

Love is a big word. But this time the word 'crush' didn't seem to properly define the feelings she had grown for Manan.

But he's not mine, he will never be.

Quickly packing her bags, she left the café.

Walking along the sidewalk, her mind drifted back to last night.

Previous night

I think I have a crush on her

She felt everything around her stop for a minute, eyes only fixated on her phone. A person afar could never realize what was happening behind those irises, how badly she wanted to bawl her eyes out just because of this simple text.

Was she seeing right?

The text seemed to have sucked the life out of her.

The thoughts which she had a couple of hours ago to be apart from Manan, suddenly seemed to vanish in thin air. At that moment she wanted nothing but have him take back his words. She wished it was just a joke.

She could have lived with just being friends with him, but knowing he wanted someone else just broke her heart.

"Isn't it what you wanted Manya? To have him as far from you as possible. It was you who wanted to ignore him, it was you who thought of those absurd things. Now when destiny has fulfilled all of your wants, why do you seem so brokenhearted?" Her mind screamed back.

She tried her hardest to regain her composure, but it is tough to stop the bleeding heart.

She tried to be happy for him, she tried her hardest. She wanted him to be happy, above everything.

Is it possible to feel this intensely for someone?

The fingers which were eagerly texting him back a few minutes ago, suddenly had gone paralyzed, as if her whole body was denying him, denying everything he said.

But still, she fumbled out a reply.

Oh, that's great Manan.

Only Lord knew how much effort and self-control it took for her to type out those few words. The pain behind those words could never be felt by anyone, but her.

She knew everything he was telling was truth. She was his friend. So why would he lie to a stranger he met few days back?

But somewhere, just somewhere, in the back of her mind she wished for the opposite. Her heart could not accept her fate.

Manya, in her life, only felt like this once, and that was when she met Manan. She unknowingly had been consumed by him. And all this time, she was lying, to her heart.

She looked at her phone again.

Yeah, I don't know her name yet. So, I probably won't be able to find her.

Each and every sentence was like a punch in the gut. She felt extremely uncomfortable. She felt herself being deeply hurt, as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest.

The first person she fell in love with would not be hers, never, and the pain was excruciating.

Yes, love.

Just two days ago, he was no one to her, and now, he was everything. She then knew how wrong she was, she could have just accepted her feelings but she just had to refuse.

She somewhere felt like, she was the reason of all that was happening. If she hadn't thought about such things, maybe Manan wouldn't have said that.

You should have asked someone her name. Did you talk to her?

Oh, how pathetic she was. She asked for stuffs she never wanted to listen.

You know I'm shy, I didn't have the courage to tell her something, let alone ask her.

She felt sad about how excited he was for someone. But truly, it was none of her business. He could have had crush on anyone.

So now what's the plan huh?

She didn't know why she was so curious, when she knew this curiosity could cost her, her peace.

I don't know. You tell me something.

Her? If she had that kind of power and guts, she could have told him to forget that girl and just focus on her. But that was never going to happen.

She blinked her eyes rapidly as if to push those thoughts away. She didn't want to remember him. She has to forget him.

Manya blinked those tears away. She didn't want to break down in front of everyone on the street.

This was the time, when she felt for the first time, that being in love is like a drug, you want more of it, every day, every second. When you're in love, whatever you do, your mind will definitely drift back to that someone, as if your soul has found its home, its purpose. But the pain which comes, is not because of love, for love is a pure thing. It is that separation, that empty feeling you get while losing someone, is what, hurts the most.

And Manya felt that love wasn't for her. She knew she should never lose her belief in love but she couldn't help being miserable. She wanted to own the pain for this was the first time she lost her love, and the first one.

15 minutes had passed and another buzzing came from her pocket.

She knew it was him but she didn't want to see it. Not because she was angry with him, but because she was angry with herself, angry for ruining their friendship like this. She felt that this friendship could have bloomed prettily, but she ruined it by developing feelings.

But on the other end, situation was not what Manya had ever expected, that night.

"She isn't acting any different. Doesn't she feel for me like what I feel for her?" Manan's inner self asked.

"You can ask someone, you know, about her. Maybe you'll be able to know her name, then you can easily search her on social medias."

He didn't want to hear anything about that girl anymore. He had understood that Manya didn't feel for him, not even a little bit.

He wanted to see how her reaction was, kind of like if she was jealous. But everything told him that Manya was off limits. A girl like her can never love someone like him, never.

That night was the toughest for those two souls, who laid awake in their beds till late night, thinking of each other and wanting each other but alas their own misunderstandings had ripped them apart.

But the fate has its own ways.