MILES AWAY

IX - Mellifluous

IX - Mellifluous

Mellifluous

/mɛˈlɪflʊəs/pleasingly smooth and musical to hear  

Walking through the seas of people, Manya looked back at her watch for the nth time. She was late—something she has accepted to be running through her veins. Body clad in ‘half uniform-half casual’ attire, she was sure of looking like the clown itself. But she could care less.

“May I have your attention please, train no. 34068 with destination Bidhan Nagar is running approximately 20 minutes late. Your inconvenience is deeply regretted.”

Oh, she wasn’t late after all.

She looked down at her sneakers, rubbing on the bristly sediment underneath her. The worn-out linings of it catching her eyes. She needs to get a new pair.

Fishing out her phone from back pocket, she looked for Manan’s message, only to be met with the disappointment of not getting one. The sun had already started to set, welcoming the dark.

She loved the dark, but it is not unknown that the evil lurks in the dark. It is invisible and it is silent. It is something present in all but controlled by few.

Souls have corrupted to extremes, to the extent of making the death itself bow down to its cruelty. Should human be so cruel? Should human be the embodiment of bloodthirsty?  The decision of the ultimatum lies in us, and once the work is done, we can hope to bring heaven on earth.

The train arrived with an atrocious whistle, making the platform filled to its brim. Only if she didn’t have some meat in herself, she would have been squashed and trampled by now. Such was the crowd. She wished for nothing but to reach home as soon as possible. Partly because of this crowd, and the other part being Manan.

But, where was he?

After contemplating whether or not to send a message, she finally decided to send a ‘hi’.

The reply came bullet fast.

Manan was a mystery to herself. Understanding him was like finding a pin in a haystack. One moment, he made her feel like she was on cloud nine, and at another, she was nothing but a stranger. His head seemed to be a puzzle; she was sure that Manan himself was incapable of understanding it. For if he could have, he wouldn’t ignore her hints as if he was blind.

Love is hard. And loving someone is harder.

And Manya had realized by now that Manan just saw her like a friend. Maybe she was wrong, maybe she was right. But it seemed to be the most rational of all. Her feelings had locked her into a jail of naiveness, which made her unforeseen to what Manan wanted.

She wanted to tell him about what she felt for him but that was just too tough on her behalf.

Nevertheless, she cherished the time they spent together, even if her heart was meant to break at the end.

“I am going out with my friends tonight.”

Sure enough. She was the only unsocial person in the entire world. But she was happy that Manan was not as dumb as her to not make any friends even after eleven years of schooling.

But somewhere she was sad that this night will be filled with just her. No Manan and his sweet words. Never mind, she would dissolve herself in the castle of books she had, the only things per se to be permanent in her life.

She opened up his photo, staring at him, intently at that. She wanted to talk to him, almost in despair to hear his voice. His words still lingered in her ear, the way he talked, the way his laugh sounded, the way he called her, everything was enough to make her an addict, the drug being Manan.

Love is not life. Love is a part of life. It is just the additional amount of happiness and pleasure that makes life beautiful from the exterior. Point to be noted—exterior. It is a whole new world and a whole new set of problems. Nothing is perpetually satisfactory. Nothing. Just like the first glance at the world seems to be the glance of heaven, the continuity isn’t considered the same.

But people still yearn for it isn’t it? Yes, they do. Human nature, if you question.

But have you ever been so consumed by someone that you have forgotten the existence of your mind? Making it impossible to behave as you had been behaving your whole life.

Side effects presumably.

Until and unless the connection doesn’t wear off, love is magical. But that’s not the only problem. Connection isn’t something done in a snap of fingers. It is a process of the mind. Besides, some people die to find this connection. Some just.... give up. Love is a probability.

Our story characters were struggling with the same. But, what’s love without struggles? A fairytale? Some magic? I don’t know either.

Manya and Manan had an irresistible connection with each other, both had no idea, a visual of what the next days will bring to them. Both were unknown to the feeling they had lighted in each-other’s soul. They were not ready to compensate their friendship in front of their feelings.

It wasn’t as if Manya had found the perfect man to have ever existed. She had her own opinions, judgements and love for Manan. But complaints are always everywhere.

New love, new feelings, new confusions, everything was a part of life, but she never thought that it was supposed to be this hard. One sided love hurts the most and the worst.

After completing every torturous hour of school and tuition, she always waited for Manan’s entry in her day. His calming presence, his voice, everything seemed to tone down every little discomfort of her. After all, it was her love who was speaking.

But he goes too soon. But she couldn’t blame him. Manan didn’t know how she hurries back to home just to be with him for a few more minutes. And maybe, just maybe, he’ll never know. Thoughts like this saddened her. Why did they even meet when they weren’t supposed to be together?

Each passing day, she fell little by little, a lot harder than she expected. She loved him, adored him, and even did fantasize.

It wasn’t anything other than normal—Manya often thought. Consolation is good for her, at least in this grave situation. She fantasized the man she loves.

Time passed with Manya being alone in her room, daydreaming about how perfect it would have been if Manan loved her back. But daydream it was. Will never be real.

It was around 10 pm when Manan’s message came.

It was hard for her to suppress her smile. It was as if Manan was the medication the world was yet to provide for the cure to gloominess. But this option was only reserved for her, her Manan.

But the happiness went as soon as it came when Manan dropped the bomb.

I saw her today at the hotel.

Did he always have to break her heart like this? She didn’t want to see him portray his love for ‘that’ girl. She didn’t want to have her heart broken anymore. It was already hard to not let her feelings overpower her mind but the constant wounds that Manan gave was impossible to ignore.

Why couldn’t he love me?

Why was he not understanding the storm happening inside her?

Our eyes met once.  But I don’t think that she would ever like me.

Doesn’t matter. You like her. that is enough to break me. This was what Manya wanted to tell, rather shout.

Drop by drop her tears fell. She cried too much and she hated herself for that. But the situation she was in was worth crying. Torn between a love triangle, she registered her futile struggles against the man she so badly wants, but at last it ended with her succumbing to her fate, which was heart break.

But Manan was negative about how things would turn about with ‘that’ girl.

Twice now, Manya saw himself getting worked up over ‘that’ girl.

Hence, putting a rock over her feelings, she decided to do what had to be done. She had suffered enough, more than she ever imagined. She wouldn’t have given up had he not mentioned about his liking for the other female. But seeing Manan with someone else was just a punch to the gut for her.

But here on the other hand, Manan was still shocked at how impassive Manya was to his second attempt of making her jealous. Was this only one sided?

He tried to put this insecurity at the back of his mind and started to talk about everything other than that. But Manya seemed to go back to talking about the nurse.

He didn’t want to hear her name. he just wanted to talk to her, to Manya. He had waited so long for her, the whole time he was away, his mind was only filled with her.

Somehow, he had gotten dependent on her, the energy and smile she brings with her was enough to light up a whole city, if not a country. Manya was the reason for Manan’s happiness. It came when she came and it went when she went.

He always wanted to talk to her, always hear her. Sometimes even wanted to scold her if she was late. She didn’t understand how she had become a part of his life. he loved everything about her.

“I missed you so much.” He spoke on the call.

“Me? You missed me?” Manya's laugh could be heard on the other side. Though the sound of her laugh was a music to his ears, but he was confused as to why Manya was laughing. Did he say anything wrong? Was he too fast?

“It seems like you are falling for me. And I’ll advice to never fall for me.”

Even if it was just a joke, Manan felt as if his life had been sucked out of him. The pain he felt in his heart was so intense that it was turning to the point that tears had started to gather in his eyes. He couldn’t believe what Manya told him. He was so heartbroken that Manya didn’t feel the same about him.  Even though it was not like he loved her, but after this moment he surely understood that there was something, something more than just a liking.

He realized that he loved her. And yes, he loves her.