January Gets Her Gunn

Chapter 6

Chapter 6They took Thad’s car and he drove north over the bridge across the Centennial River and up the valley. About seven miles from town, he turned left on a paved road and drove another two miles. They entered a county park with a scatter of eucalyptus trees and ramadas. Thad drove up a small hill at the far end of the park. After he parked, they walked fifty yards to a ramada that overlooked the river two hundred feet below.

Thad pulled a can from the six pack, popped the top, and handed it to January after she seated herself on the concrete table, her feet on the bench. She sniffed the air, catching a faint whiff of stale beer, river moisture, and desert, feeling Thad’s gaze on her.

“This place is a zoo Friday and Saturday nights,” he explained. “Favorite hang-out for kids and couples that are sneaking around. Sheriff’s department keeps a deputy out here those nights, but mid-week, hardly anybody comes out here, specially the deputies.”

“It’s quiet now. I heard a coyote as we got out of the car.” January ran a hand through her hair. “It smells and feels good, too.”

“In Scotland, there was a wee hill behind our cottage. On top was a large rock called Lyr’s Seat. When my father was out in his boat, near sunset my mother would go up the hill and stand on the rock. When she saw Da’s boat coming in, she would jump off and run down to the beach. I would follow. We would help Da pull the boat up above the tide line and carry the catch over to the quay. Sometimes, they would go up and sit with their backs to the rock, if they wanted to talk, privately. I think they did other things, as well, as sometimes they would come down the hill with their arms around the other and their faces shining. I never come here of a night that I don’t think of that.”

“You come here often?”

“Ach Aye, at least once most weeks.” His voice held a gentle melancholy.

“And what do you do here?” She found she really wanted to know, to understand.

“Sit and remember.”

“That’s it? No women?”

“Aye, nae women. Yer the first I brought here.”

“Why me?”

“Because yer fey, January Farrell.”

January laughed. “And you’re a whacko, Thaddeus Gunn. I’m no more fey than you are roanish.”

Thad nodded. “I’m no selkie, that’s the truth. But, yer fey, even if you don’t recognize it. You see things others do not and you read my mind.”

“I didn’t see the man on the roof. I didn’t know you were taking me to a whorehouse. I wish I could read your mind. Then I’d be prepared.”

“Na, you didn’t see the man on the roof, but you see things in people.”

“No more than anyone else does.”

“I’ll no argue with you, lass.” Thad tipped his head back, throat working as he finished his first beer.

They talked for a couple of hours, Jan about her father and brothers, one who died in Viet Nam and the younger one, who got on drugs and in with bad crowd after their father’s death. Thad talked of his early boyhood in Scotland and the night his mother died. They had finished the six pack and walked along the bluff top.

Back at the ramada, Thad told her about his friend Gus being stabbed. And then how he had decided that if he did not get close to anyone, he wouldn’t lose anyone he cared for. “Then you came along and suddenly I wanted to care for you and not lose you.

“That first night, I took you to the Roost, hoping that you would quit in disgust and leave town. Then I wouldn’t have to care or worry about losing you.”

“Are you saying that you’re falling in love with me?” The notion was unsettling but also curiously exciting.

He shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t think I know what love is. But you stir up memories. Lately I’ve dreamt of my mother dying and when they carried out her corpse, it’s always you. I wake up crying.”

Now he could look at her, staring at the pale blur of her face. Her eyes glistened in the starlight from the tears that welled up. “You make me feel guilty.” Her words sounded a little thick, as if her throat were tight.

“I don’t intend to. You are guilty of nothing. You didn’t know how you affected me. I’ve tried to keep you from knowing.”

“You did a pretty good job of that! I’d been warned you were hard-nosed and difficult, but you were worse than I expected. I thought it might be personal, and it was, wasn’t it?”

Thad rubbed his hand across his mouth and stared out over the river. This was getting more difficult every minute. At last he answered in a low tone. “Aye, t’was personal. From the first moment, I laid eyes on you, I knew you were different and I was in trouble. You saw through my evil-eye act right away and you never were really awed by me, like most rookies. Damn, you’re tough.”

“I don’t think I’m tough. I’m just determined to be a cop and a good one, but I’m far from tough. The night with Paco, I was heart-broken about that poor little imp. At the accident, that puppy damned near tore my heart out. It was bad enough to see innocent people mangled, but that poor puppy was so loyal, excruciating pain didn’t stop him from trying to help his little human friend. He wasn’t tough, he was loyal, loving, and determined to be the friend God made him. I hope I can someday be the kind of person that puppy was.”

Her words confused him. “The dog was no person.”

“You’re wrong, Thaddeus Gunn. He was a living creature and he probably knew he might not live. He could have succumbed to the pain, and lay there whimpering. But he didn’t, he never gave up until the shot eased him out of his self-imposed obligations and his pain.”

“Did you find out if he made it?”

She nodded, slowly. “Yes, the vet saved him but he’ll be stiff, awkward, and may not grow well because of the severe injuries. Unless someone adopts him in spite of that, he’ll probably end up being put to sleep anyway. If I had a place…” She sighed. “Can’t, not in a damned apartment when I’m gone half the time.”

January wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. She looked up at Gunn, who stood there stony-faced. “That’s your problem, Thad, you’re human, but you’ve buried your humanity because you can’t stand the pain. You let it show slightly with Paco and with me after I was sick, but you bury it again as quickly as you can.”

“You think I am a coward?” Gunn spoke slowly, enunciating each word clearly.

“No, not physically. I knew that my first night. We were all scared in that store, I could smell it. But you did your job in spite of it. Unlike me, you have combat experience. You know what can happen, how it feels to be shot at, or even hit. I know you have a Purple Heart, so you know the possible pain. I don’t. I can only guess. That’s scary, but I think I’d be twice as scared if I had been wounded. It takes courage, knowing what it’s like and still doing what needs to be done.”

“You weren’t scared in the bar?”

“God, yes I was scared! But Goldman’s a fellow cop. He’s done me favors, little things like getting me a set of keys for all the RPUs’ trunks. I was the closest and he was in trouble. I simply reacted. I was still scared when you chewed me out, though.”

“Me too. I lost it, out there on the sidewalk. Ach, Ah’m nae sae inhuman as tae nae fash mysel for ye twa.”

Thad turned away, but before he did, January saw the glistening tears in his eyes.

Damn you, Thaddeus Gunn, don’t make me feel sorry for you! January rose from the table, put her feet on the ground, and stepped up behind Thad. She reached out and touched his arm.

“Thad, I never said you were inhuman.”

He did not turn, only stared out across the river. He sighed. “I have spent a lifetime convincing myself that I am human and not a skin-changer. I’ve even gone into the ocean and swam to exhaustion and just lay in the water waiting for the change. It never came. Iron does not burn me. Yet I harden my heart and will not let anyone in. You’re right, I buried my humanity, but sidhe that you are, you dug it up.”

“Dammit, Thad, I’m not shee. I am one hundred percent human and I have no arcane powers. You talk about the ignorant superstitious Scots and Irish. You’re just as bad.”

January turned and walked back to the table. Again she sat down on the top, her feet on the bench. She rested her elbows on her thighs and her chin on doubled fists. “Of all the pig-headed blarney, you take the blue ribbon.”

Thad returned to the table and stopped in front of her. “You really believe I’m ignorant and superstitious?”

“Not only yes, but Hell yes!”

“God, you’re beautiful when you’re angry.” Thad smiled lopsided, like a little boy caught sneaking up to the cookie jar.

“Don’t change the subject, Gunn.” January glared. Then she had to laugh at the whipped puppy look on his face. “Oh you’re impossible! Grandmother Farrell told me to watch out for the Gaels.” She put her hands on the table and leaned back.

Thad stepped forward between her knees. He reaching out and touched her hair. “Polished bronze.” His voice was soft. “And eyes as green as the grass on the lea, sparkling with dew.” His fingertips traced the line of her jaw. “How can I not be an ignorant, superstitious Scot, with you in my sight and dreams?” With one hand, he gently lifted her chin. Bending forward, he kissed her lightly on the lips. He lifted his head, but January did not move, her eyes were closed and her face was still raised.

Emboldened, Thad placed his hands on either side of her head and pressed his lips against hers once more. With his tongue, he gently traced the line between her lips. January responded by opening her lips slightly and putting her arms around his neck.

Their tongues dueled for a moment. Then Thad pulled away. “I’m sorry…”

“I’m not, you big lug.” Jan kept her arms wrapped about Thad’s neck. “We’ve been headed this way from the first.” She held his head down, pulling as she pressed her lips hard against his.