Amongst our time

3: Aether Gaia

I put Liam to bed a while ago. and I find myself staring at my own reflection in the mirror. I know that I shouldn't be thinking this way. but how could I not? the only love of my life is engaged even though he obviously is not happy and is not in control, but he's still engaged. and still going along with it. to hell with it right? I thought I was enough. enough for him to actually say no to them once. just once. especially after finding out that I was pregnant.

I couldn't halp but compare myself to her. her voice alone should be enough, but, she's gorgeous. about 5' 5"-5'6" in height thin but curvy in the right places but not over bearing in the curves either. shiny long dark hair perfectly plump lips with long eyelashes. I've seen fake plenty times. I can tell the difference for the most part and it's all natural...she's the type of woman who could have multiple kids and not have a single stretch mark to show for it.

And then there's me. reaching at 5'8" thin but curvy in a far less appealing way. thin light golden brown hair that reaches just above my hips. B cup bra, flat butt, muffin type hips about my waist land. by any means I am not over weight or chubby I weigh 140lbs soaking wet. but I'm littered in stretch marks, even with makeup on you can see my exhaustion and bags under my eyes. average facial features ect. one thing I can say that I'd have going for me is my eyes. they're a gorgeous mixture of bright green that subtly fades to blue and have an almost purple-ish outline around my iris while the whole of it has flecks of gold...they literally look like the galaxy.

it's been years since I really looked at myself. every time I looked at my own eyes it hurt too much..

"why are you looking at me like that?" I asked giggling "you know I don't like being stared at." I finished while poking his nose. he quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me to him and laughed as I let out a screech.

"I'm sorry. I can't help it. it's like all the secrets of the earth even the galaxy itself rest in your eyes alone. I can't help but to get lost in them. A true beauty. as goddess Gaia... my Aether Gaia.."

exhaling a big sigh I did my best to shake those memories out of my head and turn the shower on. the second my head was under the running water I started to get dizzy and light headed. I knew this all too well but I I was unable to react fast enough as my vision blacked and I felt my legs give out.

"mommy! mommy!!!!" I try to move to him but I feel weak laying there in blood my vision get blurry and it takes me a moment to realize the blood is mine. I focused back on the boy screaming. he's calling for me and I know it's Liam only maybe 9 years old now. I can make out a small figure holding the gun I'd assume wounded me and the person takes my son away from me. he kicks and screams but it's of no use. I can't help him. I failed him. my surroundings start to slowly disappear. wet brick walls, old cracked road. busted old yellow grocery sign. the smell in the air ...wait. I know this place. but why are we here? I know I would never step foot in this town again. so why did I bring Liam? I keep trying to stay focused but I can't hear Liam anymore. just the slowing beat of my heart. it doesn't hurt anymore maybe I'm just numb.. maybe..I'm just at peace ..I don't know anymore. but I can't even feel my hands or feel my lips move but I know I'm saying something but I have no clue what it is i am trying to say. it's so cold...I... I hear... "hold on my Gaia."

"chr!" huh?

"chhrrr" f**k that hurt

"CHR" Chr? no. I'm Eve-

"CLEAR!" oh my f*****g God my chest is on fire. that's what's clear to me you sadistic bastard!

"heart rate has regulated. shes clear." whoever spoke exhaled a long breath

"if you can hear me miss Ryan, we almost thought we'd have to check your husband into a ward too with how much he was panicking. we almost had to make it a call but you weren't done fighting hun. so thank whatever higher power there is if any at all. you left us all behind for a while there."

I just got into the shower. who the hell is this? I struggles to piece things together but I can't as I can not open my eyes or more a single muscle.

I don't know how long it has been.this once peaceful abyss I've been in is starting to get maddening. Its peaceful here. too peaceful. since I've been here I feel warmth in my hand but I still can't move it.

"HELLOOO!" i yelled. yet, I don't think any sound came out. I was at peace before, but it's neverending darkness and pure silence.

my head hurts. I feel like I'm losing my sanity. the walls are closing in around me although I don't even know if there are walls or not but I'm starting to get claustrophobic. I can't breathe. I have to get out of here..Liam needs me I still have so much I can teach him and he needs to know who his father truly is not what everybody else claims him to be. Im not ready to leave yet. my baby needs me and I'm not of much help here. it's cold. the warmth that I constantly have on my hand is gone and I can't move again. for once in my life I'm f*****g terrified. I don't know what to do I have done everything I can think to do. not even starting over pregnant I still kept my head on and I wasn't truly frightened or scared of the future. but right now I'm lost I... I need...I gasped feeling the warmth in my hands again and now my side too. I can feel myself calm down 'what is this?'

more time went by and I'm completely warm now. all the way from my feet to my nose. for once I feel at peace again. I feel like the piece in my life that has always been missing has been found again..

"Aether Gaia...open your eyes love" I have always loved that nickname. I felt a kiss the top of my head yet I still couldn't open my eyes.