By the River

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER 10:

It had been two long tedious and exhausting months. Dria was not sure how much more her sanity could take. She was on constant edge waiting for the other shoe to drop and her world to explode. She knew she would have to decide soon, or she would run out of time. She began pacing in her room again debating on what to do.

When she finally woke up the next morning after the whole incident, she was terrified and a shaking mess. She knew she was in for the lecture of a lifetime and boy was she right.

She stood shaking as she took deep breaths trying to calm her nerves before she opened the door to the dining room. She finally decided it was now or never. She slowly pushed open the door and walked in with her head held low as if she could avoid the stares that had all swung her way and bore holes in her head.

“Ah finally I see my sister decided to grace us with her presence after keeping us waiting most of the morning while she stood outside the door in indecision whether to face us or not after last night’s debacle.” Damien spat as she sat glaring her down.

“Damien that is enough! She has been through a lot, and we will get to that. But let us not attack her before she sits and gets food in her. That is not what we are here to do.” Her aunt reprimanded her nephew.

Damien took a deep breath and looked away out the window trying to calm his anger at the situation. He was hugely disappointed in his sister for her actions though she was not the only one who had caused this problem and he knew it was not only her fault. He had to stop talking all his anger out on her. He knew it was more directed at himself for letting this happen to his precious sister who he had promised to take care of and had failed in the more dire way that he could have failed. He glanced at his sister and watched her push food around on her plate as she stared miserably down at it.

“Sister I am so sorry for my cruel words. I am merely angry at this whole situation, and I know it is not all your fault. Please forgive me. You really should eat. We have a lot to talk about and you will need your strength I know you have to get through this horrible time.” Damien told his sister.

She looked up at him slowly as he began to speak, and she felt a little courage enter her knowing that though he was still terribly angry it was not only her he was blaming. She knew how hard he would take things when it came to family or things, he could have prevented but this time the only one to blame was her stupid actions and the man's who had also been the cause of this as well.

“It is okay Damien I understand. I am sorry as well I have brought such shame upon this family, and I cannot even face you all. I am so ashamed and horrified at my actions. I know we need to find a solution to this, and I have some thoughts but before I go into them, please let us get the talks over with first and see if we can’t find a workable solution, we can all be happy with” Dria sighed as she looked at everyone around the table.

“Dria your aunt has told us everything and now we want to say yes, we are extremely disappointed in what has happened and obviously you know this. But ALEXANDRIA, what were you thinking of going somewhere unchaperoned while so many people were out and about? It was not a smart idea. I know you are so much smarter than that. I know you think others do not know of your beautiful spot, but you know that it is not hard to find if you keep walking far enough. It is by the river and all you must do is follow the river. Enough about the spot I am getting off track. Please what was going through your head?” Her uncle Harold asked her.

“I do not know uncle. I just wanted to escape for a few minutes to try and help ease the headache I had developed, and my spot always helps to ease my mind and make me feel better. I know it was foolish, but I just was not thinking right. I am so sorry. I know words cannot fix this at all, but I will do what needs to be done to make this better. But I am ready to hear what you have to tell me.” Dria replied.

Dria sat listening to everyone lecture her before they finally relented and began to talk about how to resolve the issue or what the next plan of action would be. Dria knew that they would act this way and let them all have their say as she sat with her hands in her lap, head bent. She would nod her head here and there while they all talked over each other. After about 45 minutes she had enough and decided now was the time for her to speak up and let them know her ideas.

“Can I please have everyone’s attention? I would like to talk to you and tell you, my ideas. I was up all-night thinking and did not sleep at all. I know this is not ideal but luckily for me no one has heard or knows anything besides us, and I know this is in our favor. I know no one has thought of this but I have. I have gone through a thousand scenarios.” Dria spoke as she stood from her chair.

“Let us go to the drawing room and discuss this further.” Cecilia said.

They all rose and headed to the drawing room, and all got comfortable as the ladies sat in lounges and the gentleman sat in the chairs near the fireplace that was burning lowly casting tiny light under the chairs and across the room. The day was a dreary one compared to the beautiful cloudless day it had been yesterday. Today was a cold gloomy day as the rain came down in buckets almost like it knew it was going to be a difficult day for all inside. The wind blew and scraped the branch across the window as it hounded the world outside.

“Now that we are all comfortable let’s hear what Dria has to say.” Cecilia spoke to the quiet room as they all waited for Dria to speak.

“I have been thinking long and hard about this as I had said before had. I want to find the man who it is and if what he said was true and he wishes to marry me I will gladly do so. It was both our mistakes so we both need to be equally held accountable. I want to try and find him. If we are not able to do so I want to try and find someone who will take me as I am even if I am only spoiled goods and no longer a virgin. Whether they are young or even old I will do what must be done. I will not bring shame to our family, I absolutely refuse!” Dria said dramatically.

“No, my dear you must also think about if there are any other consequences as well from that evening. One being is we are not sure no one saw you or this gentleman? Also, we need to make sure you are not.........well you know.” Her uncle said.

“I am not what? I am perfectly fine just upset you know.” Replied Dria.

“Dria he is saying making sure you are not well you know. Um..................Hmm how do I put this? Not going to be a mother anytime soon.” Damien sputtered out.

“Why in the world would I be a mother anytime soon? I am not even married yet. That is just ridiculo................oh.” Dria trailed off blushing bright red once she caught on to what they were implying.

They all nodded their heads once she realized what they were saying to her. She took a deep breath and looked down at her stomach and with the tips of her fingers poked it softly then looked back up at them. She was mortified she had not even thought of that. Though to be honest she really was not in a normal position to think about such a thing as a well-brought-up young lady.

“Now my dear they are right we must also take that into consideration. And with that we need to see what transpires and if it comes down to it and you are with a child then you will only be allowed two months. After that I am afraid, we will need to move on and marry you to someone who will be willing to deal with this situation. Perhaps a widower or such who has kids and is okay with another man’s child.” Cecilia said.

“You are right aunt and I think that if that is the case then we must do what we must do. As I said before, I will not bring shame upon this family. I did not ask for this but neither did any of you. We will do what must be done.” Dria agreed.

They continued to discuss everything and agreed that in two months’ time they would see where everything lies and make the final decision.

Dria came back to the present and stood knowing her time had come to decide. She hated feeling like a coward and letting people down and that is how she had been feeling these last two months. She stood from her seat on her bed and walked to the dressing table and began getting ready for the day. Her aunt was going to take her shopping and she was determined to enjoy this little escape away from the city.

Her aunt had decided that they all needed a little break from the hustle and bustle of city life for a few weeks. She was incredibly happy her aunt had talked her into coming and having a break. She smiled at herself and pinched her cheeks determined that today was a new day, and she was no longer a coward and a child to run away from her issues. Life was not as bad as she kept making it out to be. She was not going to keep being melancholy and making everyone’s life miserable because she was having internal issues.

“Today is the day for a new change. Today is a day I realize things in life happen and are out of our control. We must simply make the best of it and move forwards.” Dria gave herself a pep talk.

Suddenly she felt a lot better and knew that soon everything would be okay, and life was not going to kick her down again. She was raised better than that and was not going to go down without a fight. She started feeling foolish the more she thought about it and could not keep the disgust she had with herself down. She realized her disgust was literally making her sick.

She jumped up from her seat and ran and emptied her stomach in the chamber pot. She felt better after a moment and shook her head at her idiocy. She stood back up and cleaned her face and rang for her maid Amanda.

Soon Amanda knocked on her door and peaked her head in. “Are you ready for help?”

“Yes, I am. My aunt insists we put the devil’s contraption on for our outing today and I simply cannot do it myself.” Dria made a face as she spoke of her corset.

Amanda started laughing shaking her head as she went and grabbed the “Devils contraption” as her mistress had put it and the lovely teal gown her mistress’s aunt had asked her to be put in. Amanda walked to Dria and helped her get dressed. “Would you like me to do something else with your hair? Perhaps put it up in some curls and a ribbon?”

“Actually, yes that would be lovely. As you can see my skills today were sorely lacking. I have decided to stop being such a sour puss and I am going to be in a better mode and make life better for myself and stop making others miserable with my horrid attitude.” Dria smiled at Amanda in the mirror as she sat letting Amanda work her magic in her curling disarray, she called her hair.

After a few minutes of pleasurable chatter Amanda finished her hair and helped her finish her toiletries. Amanda went to grab the chamber pot and glanced at her mistress with a raised eyebrow. Dria shrugged her shoulders and blushed. “I gave myself a talk so strong I felt so sick with my recent behavior. I well literally became sick.”

Amanda shook her head and grinned at Dria. “Only you would be the one to do that to yourself.”

“I know I really do feel foolish, and I want to apologize to you also for my atrocious behavior towards you and you being such a great friend.” Dria hugged her friend as she apologized.

“It is all right. I can understand how you are feeling about everything that has happened to you lately. Life has not been the most agreeable it seems.” Amanda said to Dria. Dria had only told one other person at the time, and it was Amanda.

Amanda had been with her so long she knew she was the one who she could trust with her most intimate details, even the one where she had made such a huge mistake. Everyone knew how servants made it a joy to gossip but Amanda was different and would never utter a word to a single person unless given permission. She had to share after she had told her aunt because she felt so foolish and knew that her aunt was being kind. She needed someone who knew her best and could talk some sense into her. And that’s exactly what Amanda had done.

“I best go down and join my family before they decide I am too much a pain and leave without my snotty attitude. I really would like to go shopping. It has been a little while.” Dria said as she pranced out of the room and down the stairs to join her family for breakfast and then off to shopping with her aunt.