A Starry night Sky

Chapter 2: My own drawback

Seeing the heavy rain, I immediately picked up my umbrella from my backpack. During my childhood days, I really hated rain because I always felt the emptiness inside me, a child who didn't have any parents. And usually, when I'm drenched in rain, I get cold afterward. But come to rekindle it, I remember I met a young girl at the orphanage. She was also crying because her dad left them. I think she had a sibling. At that time, I saw her crying while begging for her dad to stay, but her dad just walked away. Seeing her sad makes me want to hug her to make her ease the pain of losing a parent. So I gave her my handkerchief. After that, I never saw that kid.

"Here you can have my umbrella. I have a car, so I won't be needing this," I said to Eli. "What's with a sudden change of heart? Anyways, thank you. How can I return this to you?" she replied. I didn't react to her and just walked away. I hate to see her get wet in the rain and, since I have something to cover her up, I might as well give it to her. Eli is not that bad. She is pretty, but I don't like someone who is younger than me. Come to think of it, Eli looks like the girl I met at the orphanage, the one I gave my handkerchief to. I wonder how she is doing and I hope she is happy now.

Finally, back at my home, I can go shower and rest. The rain is still heavy outside. I kind of like having a midnight snack and watching a horror movie. When watching a movie, I don't like romance or drama because my life is already full of drama. They all said that at my age I should look for someone to settle down with, but I'm really afraid that someday they will leave me alone like what my parents did to me. I grew up in an orphanage without the love of any parents and somehow I handled it because of the family I have there. Living alone is not that easy. You get to take care of your own once you turn legal. And during the time I became one? Naaah, I was so afraid, afraid of failing and never getting or achieving the things I wanted for myself. I was so lucky because the orphanage encouraged me to go study. They are the ones who make me want to become an Attorney. Because I want to defend people who can't afford to have the right justice for themselves and for their families. Sometimes, I wonder if I have already gotten justice for myself. Whenever I think of my parents, I always get angry at them for not having me as their responsibility. And sometimes, I do wonder if maybe they felt just a tiny bit of love for me.

I can't help but also long for the love of a parent. I promise myself that when I become a parent of my own, I will not let anything or anyone happen to my child. I will give them the best thing I never get to experience when I was a child. But sometimes, I think to myself, what do my parents like? Are they like any other parents who discipline their child when they commit any mistakes or are they like some parents who spoil them with something they can give to their child? And I do wonder sometimes if I have a brother or sister and if I do, I will get them and get to know them better. But first of all, I should try and get to settle down.

***

As I go to sleep, I wonder how I should thank Drake for the umbrella he gave me. He was also wet when he was going toward his car. I wonder if he is okay at this time. I wonder why he was so lonely back then. Back at the cafe, I saw him staring at the night sky. His eyes were so lonely and I got the feeling that he was longing for love. Like he was a lonely man from the inside. But he's kinda cute and handsome. Someone I want for when I'm ready to settle down. Someone I can trust big time.

As I was about to go to sleep, I saw my brother just right behind my door. " Hey sis? Can I sleep with you tonight? I just can't fall asleep," Anthony said. "Yeah, come up here." I wonder if my brother has forgiven our dad yet. Because even at an early age, I can sense that he was much angrier at my dad for leaving us behind. And I ask myself, what did our mom do to make our dad leave us? Like is there any third party or even a family? Anthony was my dad's son from his first wife. Me and mom? We're his second family. But the legal one, because the first family of dad, they never had a marriage. My mom and dad had me one year ago before the first wife knew that she was pregnant with Anthony at that time. Anthony's mom died when she gave birth to him. And the mom that Anthony knows is only our mom. Anthony is a year younger than me. But he's not a normal kid. He has kidney cancer and all he needs is a transplant. A compatible one and all I can think of is our dad. The reason why I want to forgive our dad is because of Anthony. Anthony doesn't have anything to do with all of this. I mean, he's innocent and kind and he doesn't deserve to be sick. And that's why I'm angry at my dad because even though he knew that Anthony was sick, he never bothered to find a cure for him or care for him. He's the worst dad in the world.