Starts at Ends

19 - Potassium

Chapter XIX

Sometimes, people love to rant about equality and equity. Yet, kung sino pa ang labis na maka-demand nito, sila pa mismo yung abusado. Abusive when it comes to their power and authority.

"Balita ko na suspend si Madam?"

"Talaga?"

"Bakit daw?"

Most of them don't know how to use their power properly and responsibly. They even underestimate their inferiors' capacity. They think that they are always right at all times. They don't accept suggestions or ideas. Worse, they enjoy criticizing them.

"For sure dahil sa pagiging strict niya na wala sa oras! Kung makapagsalita siya sa atin akala mo alalay niya tayo."

"Pasalamat siya at mabait si Sir Christian no! She should be glad na suspension lang ang naging punishment niya at hindi expulsion!"

I paused typing my final report as I heard their non-stop gossips about Mrs. Fe's suspension. It's been a week after she got her letter of deferral. Last day na namin dito yet her reason of suspension was still unknown. The admin didn't utter any confirmations. Other said she's just having a vacation.

"What?" I winced at Theya when she stares at me dubiously.

She holds her chin and leaned closer to me. "Feeling ko talaga may kinalaman ka don eh."

I rolled my eyes when she insisted again. I continued typing and answered. "Feeling ko rin hindi ka makakatapos diyan sa ginagawa mo kung ako ang aatupagin mo." I mocked.

She then turned her back against mine and continued analyzing her report. "Sabi ko nga."

I saved my work and stood up to print it out. Sa nagdaang araw, masasabi kong nasasanay na rin ako sa gawaing to.

I often get a hold of my family and friends because I'm too busy dealing with my internship. Sila rin naman, hectic with their fields' schedule.

Now I understand my parents' situation. Lalo na ngayon na ilang araw na silang hindi nakakauwi sa bahay. Ako at ang mga kasambahay na lang namin ang mahahagilap sa bahay. Shine was staying at my grandparents' place again. Mabuti na rin yun para may mag-alaga sa kanya, para rin hindi siya maging malungkot, marami rin kasi siyang nakakasundo ron. And I can't take care of her right now.

I heard someone at my back heave a sigh. "Oh sorry." Ann uttered. I smiled and get my printed papers.

"You think so we can get a good grade this time?" She worriedly asked.

I shrugged as an answer. "I guess? Why?" I raised my brow. "You're uncertain of your performance?" She got her papers when the printing was done.

She bit her lower lip. "Ay ambot! Ewan ko lang talaga."

I laughed. She handed her report to me and smiled.

"Taasan mo ng konti ang confidence mo." I smiled at her. "Kaya mo naman e."

Her smile becomes wilder when I uttered. "I didn't thought we can get along." Hiya niyang sambit.

Napatawa naman ako. "Ako rin."

"Here!" Bianca harshly gave her file to me.

"Bianca." Sita ni Ann. Tinaasan niya lang kami ng kilay at bumalik kaagad sa pwesto niya.

Ann held my hand, apologized in behalf of her friend's attitude.

"You better find a real friend." I turned my back at her and reached my desk to pack my things.

"Tapos ka na?" I asked Theya.

Ako kasi ang naatasan sa aming apat na magsubmit ng reports namin. Kasabay nito ang pagbigay nila ng performance grade sa amin; as individual and as by group.

"5 minutes!" She stood up and went to printing station.

I leaned at my chair as I waited for her documents. When my phone vibrated, I took it out at my pocket.

Sana naman hindi galing sa kumag. Pambwebwesit lang naman kasi ang laman ng mga messages niya. Kahit anong block ko sa number niya, hindi pa rin siya tumitigil.

Unknown number

Party tonight? Sama mo naman ako! Theya won't let me go with her.

"Here!"

Napabaling ako sa folder na nakalahad sa harapan ko. I put my phone at my desk and stood up as I got Theya's file.

"Goodluck sa atin." She cheered. I chuckled when I saw her bothered face.

And then she uttered, nervously. "Goodluck sa akin."

-

"Whoaaa!"

"Theya- wait!"

Napailing ako nang maging wild si Theya dragging Ann with her at the dance floor.

Pagkatapos namin makakuha ng malaking marka for our 1st internship at Union Cc, mas naging excited ang lahat sa farewell s***h congratulatory party. Everyone was having fun at their own way while I was just sitting and eating at the corner of our table.

"Hi." I looked at the guy who approached me. "May I seat beside you?"

I shrugged.

"I'm Justine." He handed his hand for a shake hand.

I creased my brow. "Yeah, hi."

He's from other school, but he's ahead of us. Pero dahil wala ako sa mood to make friends, I just nodded.

He laughed. "I saw your video."

I stopped from eating and faced him. I saw him smirked underneath his wine glass.

"At Swiss Theatre. You play well ha."

I sighed.

Maybe he saw my video at Zeah's IG account. It wasn't my only video and pictures she posted kaya pumayag na rin lang ako. That was her duty at that night actually; she was picked as the official photographer. I'm happy for her.

"Thank you." I smiled; a half one.

He was about to talk again when I rose from my sit.

"Uhm, excuse me." Pointing at my phone, lying.

"Oh- okay."

I impatiently went out of the bar and dialed Axi's phone. Pero nainis lang ako nang hindi niya ito sinagot.

Sobrang busy niya ba ngayon? Tanga, madaling araw na kaya edi tulog na yun.

I searched for a bench when I got tired of standing. Mabuti na lang may swing sa unahan nitong bar. I dialed dad's number pero wala rin. I tried Zeah's and Jo's number too, pero wala pa rin.

"Potassium." Inis akong umupo sa wooden swing. I pouted as I saw my feet's state. Namumula. Hinubad ko ang suot kong heels at itinapon ito.

"Ouch." Napatayo ako nang may sumigaw.

"What the hell, Shad!?" She glared.

Nag-sorry naman kagad ako at kinuha ang sandal ko na tumama sa tuhod niya.

"You're having fun there, bakit ka lumabas?" I asked her.

She laughed. "Yeah. Pero nakita kitang lumabas eh. Why? Binastos ka ba nung Justine ha?" She make a fist.

I moved around my eyeballs. "Hindi."

Tumango naman siya at umupo sa kabilang swing.

"Mabuti naman."

I cringed when I smell her. Amoy alak! Iwwww.

Silence wrapped us when no one decided to talk. I swayed my feet and rested my head at my left; at the chain supporting the swing. It was past dawn pero hindi man lang ako hinahanap sa bahay. Siguro wala pa rin sila dad. Malamang rin sa malamang nakatulog na si manang kakahintay sa akin.

Napalingon ako sa kanya nang bigla siyang tumawa.

"Helium. What's your problem?" Kabado kong tanong.

Para siyang baliw sa ginagawa niya.

Umiling siya at pina-ikotan ako ng mata. "Ulol. I just remembered something. Ang maldita mo talaga eh no?"

I frowned with her sudden remark. "Ano bang ginawa ko sayo?" Walang gana kong tanong.

"No. Not me. About last time, 'yung kay Bianca at sa kay Ms. Angelie! Ang harsh mo te." She joked.

I faced her. "I just defended Ann over Bianca and Ms. Angelie to Sir Nate. Hindi ako maldita."

Tumawa siya habang umiiling. "And Mrs. Fe!"

Umismid ako sa statement niya.

"Axi told me once how your friendship with Alezeah and Josceah started. You're really something." Amusingly, she smiled.

Napakunot naman ako nang mabanggit niya si Axi sa usapan.

"Well, it was not intended to me talaga, may nagtanong lang sa kanya na kasama namin sa banda, tapos yun, narinig ko." She explained.

"I didn't asked." I teasingly smiled.

"Well, yun na nga! Eh takot ka raw sa gagamba yet you still saved those two." Pagpapatuloy niya.

Napangiti naman ako nang may maalala. "Being heroic is not my type, really." I stared at her, chuckling. "I don't know why I acted like that, at that time." I scowled. "I just can't stand to see someone being humiliated. Lalo na yung mga taong walang laban." I shrugged.

"I'm sorry."

Napalingon ako sa kanya.

"Actually, I hated you." She bluntly said, I looked away.

"The feeling was mutual, don't worry." I gazed at her and we laughed in chorus.

"I like you now."

"Iwww!" I disgustedly looked at her.

She quickly waved her hands. "No! No way. That's not what I meant. Iwww rin."

I laughed. We laughed.

"I like you for my brother."

I stopped from laughing. She sincerely smiled and stopped. Confusingly, I asked. "You have a brother?"

Sabay kaming napalingon sa kotseng pumarada sa harapan namin.

"Yup! And speaking of." Theya stood up.

Nanatili akong nakaupo sa swing habang nakaabang sa lalaking kapatid kamo ni Theya.

"Ba't ba ang tagal mo?" Bungad ni Theya.

Napatayo naman ako nang hindi ko masyadong maaninag ang mukha ng lalaki dahil na rin sa madilim na kalsada. Malayo-layo rin sila sa poste ng ilaw kaya nahirapan akong kilalanin ang lalaki. But his built was quite familiar.

I get a hold of my sandals and walked near them. Pero napahinto rin nang magsalita ang lalaki.

"Tsk. Pasalamat ka't pinuntahan pa kita rito."

I dropped my sandals when I finally recognized who it was. Theya wore a naughty smile when his so called brother moved towards me. I froze for a moment. I can't believe they're siblings!

Seryoso?

Yumuko siya at pinulot ang sandal ko. "Kahit anong araw at oras, seriously anino?"

I turned at Theya who was covering her mouth to hide her smile.

"Siya 'yun?" I pointed at the jerk at my side.

She nodded while smiling. "Yup."

"Seryoso?"

"Ang alin?" Sabat ng kumag sa gilid ko.

Theya ignored him and went to his brother's car. "Sumabay ka na kaya sa amin?"

Humarap ang kumag sa akin at inaya rin ako.

"I don-"

"Shad!" I looked at my back when someone called. He immediately parked his car beside the jerk's and run towards me.

"Axi."

He glared at me.

"What?" I asked.

Padabog niyang kinuha ang sandal sa kamay ko at lumuhod sa harapan ko.

"Bakit ka nakaapak? At bakit hindi mo sinasagot tawag ko ha?"

Napamaang ako.

"I didn't-"

"For Pete's sake, Kayeth! It's already three at dawn! Akala ko ano ng nangyari sayo!"

I winced when he tried to wear my sandals at my feet.

"Oh my god. It's swollen." Theya blurted.

Lumapit naman ang kumag sa likuran niya upang tumingin. I bit my lower lip when I saw how disappointed Axi was.

"I'm sorr-"

I instantly hold Axi's neck when he carries me on to his car. I felt sorrier when I saw that his still wearing his pajamas.

Binalikan niya ang heels ko na siyang hawak ni Theya.

"Oh hey? Sorry I didn't notice you two."

"It's okay. You better go home na. Baka lumala pa yung paa ni Shad e." Theya said, worriedly, while his brother was just staring at me seriously. Napaiwas tuloy ako ng tingin.

Axi run to the driver's seat after he put me inside. Then he started the engine. I looked at him, apologetic.

"You can stay at our house." I insisted, na siyang tinangoan niya kagad. I guess I disturbed his sleep badly.

I turned my gaze at my right and bid goodbye to the siblings.

"Ingat kayo."

Theya smiled and turned his back against mine. I averted at Axi when I heard him yawned.

"Tara na?" Aya ko.

He sighed as he leaned at his backrest.

"You need something, Rayl?" Axi asked.

Taka kong sinundan ang tingin niya. I was surprised to see the jerk standing still there. I thought pumasok na siya sa kotse niya?

"Need help?"

I frowned when he handed a hand to me. Not literally.

"No, w-we're fine." I replied.

I met his gaze. I gulped and controlled my emotion. "I bet Theya wasn't feeling well too. She's drunk."

He just nodded and then turned away at us. Napahinga ako ng malalim.

Axi started driving after he fastened his seatbelt. "You really have to do something for me Shad." He said in a tedious tone.

I lightly smiled. "I will."

-

"Gosh! Thank you talaga!" I groaned when she hugged me tightly. Ngumiti siya ng nakakaloka. "Sana all may personal driver." Tingin niya sa lalaking kasama ko.

"Hi Jo." The jerk greeted.

"Myghad, you look hotter with your blonde hair!" Siniko ko si Jo nang magsimula siyang maglandi.

"What? Selos agad?"

I arched my brow. "What?"

"Wala!" She looked at her wrist that made her panicked. "Thanks dito Shad, promise babawi ako. Sorry talaga."

"Whatever."

Pero kahit alam niyang malalate na siya sa demo niya, nagawa niya pang humirit.

"Rayl! Shad looked tired, diligan mo na naman paminsan-minsan." Mabilis siyang nakapasok sa room niya nang makitang babatukan ko siya.

"Nothing's funny jerk." Nagsimula na akong maglakad and dialed Zeah's number.

Potassium.

Kahapon naging instant alalay ako ni Axi, tapos ngayon 'tong dalawa naman. Pasalamat sila at mabait akong atom.

I ended the call after Zeah told me the address. I sighed and faced the guy at my side.

"I told you not to come, ang kulit mo." I scowled.

"Ang dami mong arte. Sakay na, ihahatid ko pa to kay Theya." He raised the paperbag na may laman na pagkain.

"Acting like a good brother ha?" I mocked. I opened his car's door and seated comfortably at his new fancy.

Magasto siyang kumag talaga, grabe!

"Saving friends' grade ha?" He firedback, looking at me at the rear-view, as he buckled his seatbelt.

"Bakit ka na naman nandyan? Bakit sa kotse ni Axi sa front seat ka umuupo, 'pag sa akin, diyan?" He raised his brow, pointing the space I am occupying.

"Ibang usapan na yun." I retorted.

He just rolled his eyes and started driving. He whispered something pero hindi ko narinig dahil sa music na naka on.

"Ano?" Irita kong sabi nang hindi siya tumitingin sa daan, kakatingin sa akin: thru rear-view mirror.

"Gusto mo bang magpakamatay ha?" I hysterically said nang muntikan na kaming mabangga.

"Kung ikaw ang kasama, why not?" He teased.

"Tungsten ka! Focus on driving!"

Napa-irap naman siya nang sumigaw ako. "Oo na. Saan ba tayo?"

I felt relieved when he talked without taking off a glance at the road. "Sa Sa El na muna, hatid mo muna yan kay Theya." He then nodded and turned the car to his family's company's way.

Mabilis siyang lumabas ng kotse nang makarating kami sa destinasyon. I didn't get out, kasi baka makita nila ako. Sabi ko pa naman na may emergency kaya pinayagan nila akong um-absent.

Kaka-party kasi nitong mga bruha kong kaibigan kagabi, kaya hindi ako nakapasok. I took care of them after they crashed the Yttrium last night because of their wildness! Kaya heto ako ngayon, cleaning their mess and helping them of their projects.

"Thaaaaank youuu!" Mabilis akong umilag nang akmang yayakap siya sa akin. "Arte." She scoffed.

"Ayusin niyo buhay niyo ha." Pangangaral ko. "Tsaka, unahin muna ang projects bago party." Para naman siyang tuta na tumango agad.

"Thank you ulit." She smiled, broadly. "Pero mata-touch na sana ako Shad eh."

"Hey Ze."

"Hi!" Zeah greeted back the jerk.

"Akala ko talaga kami ang dahilan kung bakit umabsent tong kaibigan namin eh." I crossed my arms and stared at her. Pero hindi siya natinag.

"And by just looking at you Rayl, I knew it already." They both laughed and giggled. Mas tumawa ng malakas si Zeah nang may binulong sa kanya ang kumag.

I put my phone at my ear, acting like I was calling someone. Napatahimik naman kagad si Zeah nang marinig ang pangalan ng boyfriend niya.

"Ang seryoso mo talaga masyado!" Sabay akbay sa akin at kurot sa pisngi ko.

"Potassium ka." I hissed.

She giggled while nodding. "I know. And I love you too." Ngumiwi ako tsaka hinawi ang braso niya.

"Shut up Ze."

Hindi na ako natutuwa ha. I thought she's sober already.

"Pero I know you love someone else, kaya okay lang." She teased while moving his brow. "Suport ako dyan!"

"I wonder who?" He turned to his left when someone commented.

"Kilala mo Rayl?"

Seriously!?

He shrugged. "Ako ba yan?" Napasapo ako nang pinatulan niya ang gaga kong kaibigan.

"You're crazy." I shushed. Pero mas naging malakas lang ang tawa ni Zeah nang tumalikod ako sa kanila.

Sumali pa ang kumag!

"Hoy anino, wait lang!"

-

Agad akong umupo sa malinis na kahoy nang makaramdam ng pagod. Kanina pa ako lakad ng lakad. Sana hindi na lang ako umabsent, edi sana buong maghapon lang akong nakaupo.

Napatingin ako sa paa ko nang makaramdam ako ng pananakit. Kakagaling pa lang nito eh.

I was in the middle of massaging it when I heard a noise. Napatingin ako sa may bulwagan ng hall pero sila kumag at Sister Margie na nag-uusap lang nakita ko. Kaya lumakad ako papunta sa play ground sa likod, kasi baka nandun ang mga bata, baka sila yung maingay?

And to my surprise, I was right. But I was wrong in the part that I thought that they are just playing, coz they're not.

"Kian!" Hila ko sa batang tumulak kay Sheena. I kneeled down my right leg and faced him. "Anong nangyari? Bakit kayo nag-aaway?" Mahina kong tanong.

Baka sabihin niya na kinakampihan ko si Sheena, where in fact, hindi ko naman alam ang totoong nangyari, kaya I remained calm even though I'm worriedly sick deep inside.

Ayoko ng ganitong set-up.

"Ihatid niyo siya sa loob para magamot ni Sister." Tugon ko sa mga bata na mabilis naman nilang sinunod. I got bothered to Sheena nang makitang naiiyak na siya.

I was about to stand up to carry her pero tinulak ako ni Kian. I groaned when my head hit the tiled bench at my side.

"Kian!" Gulat na sigaw ni Sister Margie. Napapikit ako sa sakit pero I still tried to stood up.

"Bakit mo tinulak ang ate Shad mo?" Lumapit ako sa kanila nang pinagalitan ni sister si Kian.

"No, he didn't push me." I said, trying to cover Kian. I was worried when I saw his eyes tearing, yet in fuming mad. "Natapilok lang po ako." Inalalayan naman ako ng kumag para makaupo.

"Don't tolerate him, I saw how hard he pushed you." Seryosong tugon niya. "And hell you're bleeding." Sabay kuha ng panyo niya at pinantakip sa sugat ko.

"I hate you! All of you!"

For a moment, I feel numb when the kid looked at me like he despises mo so much.

"Even you."

"Hey Kian!" Tumayo ako at pilit siyang hinawakan nang mabilis siyang tumakbo paalis.

"Don't touch me!" Mabilis niyang hawi sa kamay ko, pero pilit ko pa rin siyang hinabol kahit namamanhid na sa sakit ang ulo ko.

"Stop acting like you care! No one cares for me! Even my own mother disown me, so don't go near me!!" He said with gritted teeth that made me stopped reaching him.

"F*ck, anino!"

Dumating si Tatay Ernest at agad hinila si Kian palayo sa akin. Sister Margie let the other children get inside too. She even told the jerk at my side to quickly send me to the hospital, but I refused.

Hindi ko na nga namalayan ang luhang lumalabas sa mga mata ko e. Pati na ang dugo na tumutulo sa ulo ko. That's the least of my concern right now because I badly need to talk to Kian!

"Si K-kian, please, si K-kian!"

"Ano ba, anino!?"

I gasped and looked the guy who's trying to stop me. Naiiyak na talaga ako! Kaya inawakan ko ang kamay niya at nagmakaawang padaanin niya.

"Ang tigas naman ng ulo mo e! Sabi ng unahin mo muna ang sarili mo. You're losing blood!" Galit niyang sigaw nang magmatigas akong sundan si Kian sa loob.

I should go to him! I need to comfort him!

"Anino, please!"

I repeatedly shook my head. He can't be like me. He shouldn't hate the people around him. He shouldn't hate his mother.

"Shaddowe!"

But my body failed me. The last thing I knew was the sound of the ambulance getting nearer to us and the fear and worry coming from the person who's holding me.

"s**t, bilisan niyo! Pag may mangyaring masama sa aninong to, ipapatapon ko kayong lahat sa sementeryo!"

"Si K-kian." I sob trying to get up from the stretcher.

"Aish!"

Mas lalo akong napaiyak hindi lamang sa sakit na nadarama ng ulo ko kundi dahil na rin sa pagsabunot ng kumag sa buhok niya. He's frustrated just like me.

"Hindi mawawala si Kian! Makinig ka naman sa akin kahit ngayon lang, please."

I hold his hand. I wanted to open my mouth to talk but I was having a bad time of breathing.

"Stay still, please."

I closed my eyes when the rescuers put an oxygen mask to me and did their job trying to save my state.

But even though the jerk at my side told me not to worry, I can't help not to feel weary, worrying.

"Ang bagal namang magpatakbo ng sasakyan nato! Bilisan niyo, ano ba!?"

I groaned as I felt the terrible pain inside. I felt remorseful for Kian, but I felt more for myself.

"S-sorry ma..." I barely mumbled.

Sorry, I did nothing to save the kid.

Sorry I didn't try harder to save him, like how I was supposed to save you.

"Sorry..."

That was the last word I uttered as I got drown as my whole system stretched in great pain.

"You better hold on, anino. "