The Bodyguard

Chapter 39 - Moving On

The final month of college goes in a blur of assignments, hand in dates and final exams.

I’ve had a few comments from classmates and even professors about the huge rock on my finger and I can’t help feeling its size is intended. It’s Gabriel’s way of marking me as his territory, he may as well have tattooed ‘she’s mine’ on my forehead. Not that I was ever not ‘his’ or remotely interested in looking anywhere else. I know he has those kinds of concerns though.

I wear the ring most of the time, but always remove it when heading to work. I don’t know why really, I’ve handed in my notice and I finish tomorrow after my shift, but I just didn’t want the constant comments and questions from Sandy or suggestions that I’ve somehow broken Jordan’s heart even though we barely say two words to each other per shift.

My final exam is a long one and I’ve studied all night for it. As I open the paper, I breathe a sigh of relief as I see the first question about sculpture is one I revised last night.

Taking my mind off the ring, Gabriel and the future, I focus all my energy on writing as much detail as I can into my answers.

I’m still writing when the invigilator tells us there are just two minutes left. I finish my final paragraph succinctly then, happy with my work I put my pen down and breath a sigh of relief knowing I’ve done all I can.

I walk home feeling far lighter than I have in months, I’ve finished college and now I’m free to use those skills in the working world. Speaking of which, I’ve got an interview next week for an art agency in Lakeland City. They deal with organising exhibitions and auctions and it sounds an ideal place for me to start out and something I can do alongside my own painting.

We haven’t discussed it for a while, but since Gabriel and I got engaged everyone has just assumed that I will move into his cottage now I’ve finished college. He’s mentioned it a few times and I’ve been noncommittal, but he acts like he hasn’t noticed.

I arrive home to see Gabriel’s car outside my door, I wasn’t expecting him.

I open the door and he’s in the kitchen filling a bucket with ice and there is champagne on the table.

“I thought we could celebrate your exams being over!” He announces.

It’s a lovely thought and I’m grateful, but a piece of me wonders what he’d have done if I’d had plans with my friends to celebrate. I already know the answer to that, I’d have had to cancel and do what he wanted to do.

I smile at him trying not to show the slight annoyance I feel. I didn’t actually have any plans for him to spoil so feeling this way is stupid and I tell myself to snap out of it.

We order Thai food which is my favourite and we eat it and drink the champagne before getting an early night since I have my final shift tomorrow.

The next day my shift flies by and I can’t help feeling sad and nostalgic as I say goodbye to Mr Smith, Sandy and Jordan. They all wish me well and Mr Smith thanks me for my hard work promising a good reference should I ever need one.

When I walk outside Gabriel is sat in the car looking pretty grumpy and I try to work out what I’ve done wrong. I soon realise it’s my ring, I left it on my bedside table as I always do when I head to work. I was on autopilot this morning.

“Why did you take your ring off?” He asks sternly.

“Oh, I just didn’t want it getting damaged at work,” I explain hoping it’s good enough.

“When I put this on your finger it was forever and I never want to see it leave your hand again, do you understand me?” He’s speaking to me like I’m a small child and it irks me.

I sigh heavily and nod. I don’t want to be 'punished' and I know I’m skirting dangerously close to the edge by removing my ring, I don’t want to make it worse."Sorry, it won't happen again," is the best I can manage.

He drives me back to my house in silence, still seething at my actions. When we arrive I head up to my room and I bump into Kate on the stairs, she tells me she’s all packed and is leaving for her parents today. I give her a quick hug and she tells me to keep in touch as she wants an invite to the wedding. I want to say like that’s going to be any time soon, but I keep my mouth shut.

I open my bedroom door and find all my things have been packed in suitcases and boxes while I was at work. I’m in complete shock and I stand there open mouthed, I don’t know how I feel about this and finding the words is impossible. I open and close my mouth a few times before Gabriel interrupts the tangled mess of thoughts going on in my head.

“I thought I’d save you the trouble by packing for you, you’ve worked so hard lately beautiful that I figured you needed a break. We can leave as soon as you’re ready, Ford is almost here to take whatever we can’t fit into my car.”

So there it is. He has it all planned out and yet again I have no control over this situation. The practical side of me knew this was happening and he’s just trying to be helpful in his own way so I'd be stupid to fight it, where else was I going to live?

I say goodbye to Sophia and Jeff while Gabriel and Ford load my things, then Amy follows us outside. We hug for what feels like ages and we’re both crying by the time we’re done.

“Good luck and enjoy Paris!” I tell her. “I want to hear all about it.”

“I will, I’m travelling for the first month or two but I’ll message when I can.”

I get into Gabriel’s car and the tears just wont stop streaming down my face as the figure of Amy waving gets smaller and smaller and finally disappears.

That’s it, I’ve left the one place I’ve called home as an adult and I’m going to live at Gabriel’s, a place I don’t feel is mine in any way at all. Everything in it belongs to and has been chosen by him and that’s not likely to change unless I marry him and move into HIS dream house. Only then will I earn the right to have any say in what I want in my home and where.

The thought fills me with anxiety and I already feel like this is a commitment step too far for me. Is it my age or is it because it’s him? I cry the whole way to his home, I can’t even bring myself to call it MY home. It isn’t mine, but I hope in time I’ll be able to make it mine somehow. I do want this to work so I’m going to have to try harder to be more accepting of the situation and try to settle here no matter how difficult it feels.