In between sundays

pion

Chapter Thirteen

The week moved faster than I expected. Too fast, actually. One minute I was counting days, the next minute days were counting me.

We started calling properly. Not the shy, awkward kind anymore. Real calls. Long ones. Short ones. Random ones. His voice began to feel familiar so familiar that I could hear it even when we weren’t talking. In my head. In my pauses. In the quiet moments between things.

I kept telling myself I liked him as a friend. Or maybe I needed to believe that. Especially because at that time, my attention was still tangled elsewhere—with my course mate. The one who leaned on me after his breakup. The one I talked to out of habit, out of loyalty, out of something that felt unfinished. So yes, I told myself this thing with Philémon was just friendship. Safe. Simple.

Then he told me something about himself.

He said he was hyperactive.

I asked him to explain. I wanted clarity. I always want clarity.

He said he gets naughty fast.

Gets angry fast.

Gets calm fast.

Then he added, “If you get it, you get it.”

I didn’t fully get it but I felt it. And that was somehow more unsettling.

He also said something else that stuck with me longer than I wanted to admit. He said I would soon run from him. I hated that. I hate when people predict my leaving, as if it’s already decided. As if staying isn’t something I consciously choose.

I told him I wouldn’t run.

I asked him if he were my brother, would I run from him?

He said that was a lie we tell ourselves.

That annoyed me, but I didn’t argue. I just said, “Time shall tell.”

And for once, we both agreed.

Curiosity didn’t leave me alone after that conversation. I researched. Quietly. Late at night. I looked for explanations, cures, reasons anything that would make it less… unknown. I didn’t really find answers. Just fragments. And somehow, that didn’t push me away.

I only knew one thing clearly: I wanted to stay. Not out of obligation. Not out of fear. Just choice.

He asked me one day if I could stay in the same room with him. I said, “Why not?” easily,too easily. Then he hesitated. Said he didn’t know. Said time would tell.

And truthfully, a small part of me was scared. I won’t lie. I wondered, What if he does something bad?

But the louder part of me chose trust.

Not blind trust.

Intentional trust.

I stayed.

Final note

Sometimes, staying isn’t about certainty or safety nets. Sometimes it’s a quiet decision made in the middle of fear, curiosity, and unfinished emotions. I didn’t stay because I understood everything I stayed because something in me wanted to believe that trust, once given gently, can teach you more than distance ever will.

#ChapterThirteen

#ChoosingToStay

#TrustAndTension

#QuietDecisions

#EmotionalHonesty

#LearningPeople

#TimeWillTell

#SoftBravery

#UnfinishedFeelings