Dirty Little Secret

Graduation

West Hollow High School’s gym was filled with a multitude of families and friends who were all joined together for the graduation. They had the air conditioning on, but with how crammed it was, it wasn’t making much difference. People were fanning themselves with the graduation programs; others were regretting their decision not to grab a program. The graduates were almost finished getting their diplomas- all of us sweating under our gowns and waiting impatiently for the ceremony to be over. 

I stood excitedly next to Alex Whitmore. I had been anxiously waiting for this day for a long time and to be sharing this moment with Alex made it even more amazing. This morning I took the extra time to put hair products in my hair to tame the wild, dark brown curls and did my best to cover up my bruised cheek and split lip with makeup. And I even put on a dress, though I had to pair it with the same ratty Vans I wore every day. 

 We were both back at our seats with diplomas in hand and held hands as we anxiously waited to throw our caps in the air. 

“Are you ready?” Alex whispered, giving my hand a squeeze as the principal instructed the graduating class to please rise. 

“More than you could even imagine.” My stomach flipped with excitement and I bounced on my toes.

We released each other’s hands so that we could move our tassels to the opposite side of our caps.

"I now present to you, the class of-" Everyone threw their caps into the air and the crowd roared with cheers and applause. Alex turned to me and pulled me into a tight hug. 

“We f*****g did it!” he cheered. 

“f**k yeah we did!” I beamed back. My heart raced and I  couldn’t remember the last time I had felt this giddy. The feeling of being free from high school caused a rush of adrenaline to pulse through me. 

The rest of the class began fighting their way through the masses to find their families and friends for pictures while Alex and I climbed up on our folding chairs to scan the room. 

“Did your parents come?” I asked Alex, looking around the room, just seeing a sea of the tops of people's heads. 

He shrugged and shook his head, “I doubt it. I mean, they sounded like they might, but I don’t think they did… What about you? Did your dad come?” 

I snorted. “He wasn’t even pretending to get ready when I left. So, no…” I wasn’t really disappointed about Dad not coming- I hadn't expected him to come, and if he had, he likely would have made a scene. 

“So, does that mean we can just leave?” Alex looked around the room at everyone with their support systems, hugging them and congratulating them.  

“Why not?" I shrugged. "I mean, what are they going to do? Give us detention?” 

We both laughed and hopped off our chairs to head towards the exit, unzipping our gowns as we went. 

“Alex!” a male voice yelled. 

We spun around in confusion and Alex scanned the faces looking for who called his name. His eyes grew wide with excitement when he spotted Ash and Max heading our way. I felt like I might throw up, my stomach twisted so much at the sight of the two. Ash looked different than he had the last time I'd seen him. His light brown hair was short now, not shaggy and messy; and his clothes seemed to fit him a lot better. But his smile… God, his smile was the same arrogant, effortless, confident smile it had always been… and it still made my stomach flip. 

Next to him as they pushed their way through the crowds, was Max, his best friend. He’d grown his dirty blond hair out since I’d seen him last and now had it pulled up into a pony tail. He walked with more bounce in his step, and flashed his charming smile our way. 

I took a steadying breath as the two approached.  

“Congrats, man!” Ash exclaimed as he pulled his brother into a hug. “How’s it feel?” 

As he did that, Max pulled me into a hug, congratulating me too. I couldn’t help but notice how he’d slimmed down since high school, his once soft chest now firm.  

“Feels freaking great,” Alex smiled back, glancing over to see me awkwardly pulling out of the hug from Max. Ash must have noticed too, because he quickly turned and obnoxiously pulled me into a hug too. 

“Look at little Snickers all grown up!” he cheered as he squeezed me. His body was just as defined as Max's, though not as shocking, he'd always been skinnier than Max. But now it felt like he worked out daily and I found myself drowning in the scent of his body wash.

I shoved Ash off. “That’s not my name.” 

“Oh right,” he smiled. “I always forget which candy you’re named after.” 

Max and Alex both snickered a little, but I only rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. No way would I give in to his charming smile. I'd made that mistake in the past and would never do that again.

Alex looked hopefully past Ash. “Hey, did Mom and Dad come?” 

“Well,” Ash grimaced a little. “Yes and no. Mom came, Dad didn’t. Mom left right after you got your diploma because Dad was mad she came.” He shrugged. “You know how Dad can be.” 

“Yeah,” Alex sighed, ”I do.”  

“But who gives a s**t about Dad, right? I came and I’m throwing you the best graduation party ever tonight.” 

Alex ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He glanced over at me and I gave him a look signaling that I was ready to leave, so he offered for us to head out to the cars. 

As we headed out, I took my robe off to reveal my strapless sundress that I’d put on, the breeze from walking cooling me off a little. I could feel Ash and Max staring at my ass as we walked and I wished I would have left my gown on longer to protect myself. 

One of them mumbled a comment about my ass and I inhaled sharply and gripped the gown tighter. We made it to the car and I pulled on the handle of the locked car while I waited for Alex to get the hint. Instead, he turned to his brother and Max. 

“So, I got all my stuff in my car. Are we just heading straight to your place now?” 

Ash, who was taking in all of what the sundress left uncovered, pulled his eyes away to look in the back seat of Alex’s car and nod in approval. “Sounds good to me. You just want to meet there? We can hammer out party plans where there's air conditioning.” Alex agreed that'd be better, then Ash and Max headed off to find their car while Alex and I climbed into Alex’s sauna of a car. 

“So, today's the day," I sighed trying to breathe through the heat.

Alex nodded and cranked the air all the way up. “I know you hate him, but it’s the only place I have.”  

 “I know.” I assured him, trying to stay optimistic and looking out the window as we began driving. “You bummed that your parents are kicking you out?” 

Alex shrugged. “It sucks a little. And their reasoning is s**t… But I get to move in with Ash and he’s super cool.” 

I laughed. “Super cool? He’s a super douche, Alex.” 

“Hey, that’s not true. He’s the only reason anyone at school ever talked to me.” 

“Yeah, because they wanted him to sell them pot or booze. He’s nothing special. And I always talked to you, even though I hated your brother. So there’s that.”  

Alex rolled his eyes and I went back to looking out my window. He sighed, “You’re right, I know. I’m sorry and I love you.” 

I smiled and looked back at him. “I love you too- even if you have a douche-y brother.” 

It was a fifteen minute drive to Ash and Max’s house and when we pulled up, it was nothing like I had even expected. I had never been over to Ash’s since he moved out of his parents’ house and was expecting it to be some rundown house in the ghetto. Instead, Alex pulled up to a cute little house in a decent part of town. 

We got out of the car and I helped Alex get the trash bags holding his belongings out of the car and carried into the house. The inside of the house was even more different than I’d expected. The front room that we walked into was a living room that was open to the kitchen. There was a ping pong table instead of a dining room table and they had two oversized couches in front of a large TV for their living area. A decent sized island sat as the divider between the kitchen and living room with four bar-style stools at it. 

The house was a lot cleaner too. There were some beer cans sitting out, Xbox controllers lying on the couch along with an open bag of chips, some dishes on the counter and a folded pile of clothes on the island. 

Max was nowhere to be seen, but Ash was waiting inside for us when we came in. He was in the process of changing his shirt, sifting through the pile of laundry, shirtless. I quickly averted my eyes. I’d been in similar situations before because I was always at Alex’s house and for two years of our friendship, Ash lived there too. I knew if he caught me looking at him shirtless I’d never hear the end of it. Thankfully, he grabbed a fresh shirt and looked up and nodded hello. 

“Alright, you made it. You know where your room is.” Ash nodded his head towards the hall. Little by little, Alex had been working on moving in with Ash over the past couple of weeks, but this was my first time coming over.   

Alex led me to his new room. There was a partially made queen-sized bed in the corner, a dresser and a desk. There was junk on the desk and a few other trash bags he’d already moved in. He turned to me for approval and I nodded uncertainly. “Looks very... homey,” I shrugged. 

Ash, who’d followed us in, bobbed his head. “Alright cool. Go ahead and get settled in. Party starts at eight.” He turned to leave but then stopped. “Need me to grab anything else from the car?” 

“Nah, I got it,” Alex answered. Then to me, “Wanna start unpacking this stuff? I’ll be right back.” 

“Sounds good.” I grabbed a bag and threw it on the bed and began sifting through the bag’s contents while Alex ran out to his car.  After a while, I lay down on Alex’s bed and kicked my feet against the wall. My dress fell to my stomach and I examined my dirty shoes.  

“Jesus,” Alex laughed. “I can see your panties, Reese.” 

I craned my head to look at him. “Is it turning you on?” I raised an eyebrow at him suggestively. 

Alex rolled his eyes. “Oh, wow,” he said monotonously. “I am so turned on by your female panties. My d**k is so hard.” 

“Ha!” I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at how fake he was being. “Very convincing, babe.” 

  He flashed me his charming smile. “You do look good in a dress though. You should wear them more often.” 

“Me?” I gawked. “In a dress? ‘Oh, look at me!’” I cried in a fake falsetto. “‘I’m a pretty, popular b***h! I wear dresses so I can spread my legs anytime a football player even BREATHES at me because I’m a slutty, little whore.’” I dropped my legs to the sides as close to splits as I could get them on the wall. 

This time it was Alex’s turn to laugh. 

“‘A slutty, little w***e,’ huh?” Ash's voice cut through the room like a knife.

  Alex and I snapped our heads to see him standing in the doorway, a grin spreading across his face as he took in my pose, his eyes locked in on my plaid panties. 

“f**k!” I swore as I quickly spun myself around. I spotted a pair of Alex’s sweatpants across the room and jumped up to go put those on under the dress. I gave Ash a threatening look as I pulled the pants up. 

Once Ash had finished watching me put pants on, he turned his attention to his brother.  “I’m going to the store for last minute party must-haves. What are your boozy needs?” He relaxed his body against the doorframe and pulled out his phone to take notes. 

“Anything fruity,” Alex answered. 

“Gay,” Ash teased. 

Alex smiled. You could see on his face how much more comfortable he felt in a home where the people he lived with didn’t judge him for his sexuality. I loved that he had a place to stay where he felt comfortable. I just hated that the person he was comfortable with was his douche bag brother. 

Ash turned back to me. “If I remember right, your drink of choice is… tequila?” 

Of course he still remembered that. Everyone who went to high school with me knew that. I had a bit of a reputation from that drink of choice… 

“No thanks, I’m fine.” I grumbled, crossing my arms. 

“Hey, even popular bitches in dresses need alcohol,” he teased. 

With him still poking fun at catching me goofing off with Alex, I snapped, “f**k off.” 

Alex chimed in with a gentler answer. “She’s sober, Ash. She doesn’t drink anymore.” I felt relief flood over me, happy I didn't have to be the one to explain it to Ash, but shame was the best friend of my sobriety and I shifted, trying to hide it.

Ash didn’t even try to hide his shock. His eyes grew wide and he looked at me like I was a ghost. “Really? s**t, good for you, Snickers! So what does a sober girl like you drink at parties now?” 

I shrugged and mumbled, “Whatever you’re already getting is fine.” Honestly, if it wasn’t alcohol, I wasn’t that picky. And I sure as heck didn’t want Ash catering to me and thinking I owed him something. 

He looked at Alex, who caved instantly. “She likes juice boxes.” 

“Alex!” I didn’t expect him to just blurt that out. As if Ash didn't have enough fun taunting me based on my name, weight, past, and more, now he got to make fun of the fact that I drink juice boxes. 

Ash raised an amused eyebrow at me. “Like... like little kid juice boxes.” 

"I don’t need juice boxes,” I grumbled as Alex answered, “Basically. Like those apple juice ones Mom always got? Those were for Reese.” 

Ash’s amused grin grew and I turned to glare at Alex instead. 

“Okay, so something fruity and… something ‘fruity.’ I can manage that.” Ash looked me over one more time before ducking out of the room. 

I rushed to the door to slam and lock it and then grabbed up my backpack to change. “f**k dresses. Doesn’t even fit me right. Doesn’t even cover my f*****g ass. f*****g stupid.” I continued grumbling under my breath as I fought the dress off and pulled a tshirt and hoodie on instead, leaving Alex's sweatpants on.  

“The dress didn’t do anything,”  Alex said, picking it up from where I had thrown it on the floor. He walked over to his closet and pulled out a hanger. “You’re just mad Ash saw your panties.” 

I shot him a glare as he hung up my dress in his closet. “I just don’t like dresses. And Ash will use anything to taunt me. I don’t need him giving me s**t again.” 

I grabbed one of the trash bags of Alex’s clothes and began pulling them out and folding them. I opened the drawer to his empty dresser and began putting the clothes in as I folded them. 

“He’s really changed,” Alex finally said, his voice a gentle peace offering. “I know it doesn’t feel like it yet, for you, but he has.” I glanced over my shoulder to see him start to pick clothes out of a different bag and begin to hang them in the closet. 

“I mean, he poked a little fun, but it’d almost be weirder if he ignored the fact that he walked in on you doing the splits in a dress. I need you to try and give him a chance…”  

I heaved a sigh and kept my eyes on the clothes I was working on unpacking. 

“Because if you don’t…” I peaked to see Alex’s shoulders slump. “I don’t know where to stay, Reese. Because I can’t go back home and don’t have anywhere else, but I need you to be able to come over- for your sake and mine.”  

He looked over at me and we locked eyes. “I already told you,” I mumbled back, “I’ll try to make it work. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be mad at the stupid dress.” 

We both cracked a smile, the awkward tension quickly fading. 

“You looked hot in that dress, Reese… you are hot.” 

I rolled my eyes. He had to say that. He’s my best friend. 

We continued unpacking his room until there was a knock on the door. “Help me unload this s**t!” Ash called through the door. 

It took me a second to realize he wasn’t able to get into the room because I’d locked the door. We both got up and headed to the kitchen.  

The floor had multiple cases of beer and the counter was covered in bottles of alcohol and snacks. Then I saw them, like five cases of green and purple juice boxes. I was actually shocked he’d got them- and that many too. 

Ash must have noticed my shock, because he said, “You don’t have to drink it all tonight. Figured we could put them in Alex’s room for tonight so people don’t take them. But he said you’d be here often, so I wanted to be sure we had enough.” 

“Um… thanks…” Maybe he had changed. 

“Also-“ Ash tossed a bag at me and I barely caught it. 

I looked down in confusion. “What’s…?” Annoyance jumped in quickly and I looked up to see him smiling like a little boy that just pulled a prank he was super proud of. 

“Snickers for Snickers.” Definitely had not changed.

Max let out a laugh and even Alex snorted. I rolled my eyes and set the bag of candy down on the counter. “You’re stupid.”