For Me?

The Wedding

"You! You can't do anything" He sneered "We have a deal"

P.O.V Aila

Marriage... Wasn't it suppose to be about being with that someone that made you feel whole? To have kids with and create that family unit that was safe and warm?

Not this one. This was a deal, a deal to save my life. When you have grown up in turmoil and emotional neglect you don't believe in love or kindness. Pity maybe. You wish for love, you pray for it, you yearn for it but you have no real idea what it is.

My mother who is behind me now has always been a cold woman, always has been ever since I could remember. Her purple eyes and bright white hair, mixed with her very white skin make her look harsh and cruel. And of course today she decided to wear a black suit dress which instantly made her look like an harbinger of doom. Growing up without a father is hard, even harder when your sole parent doesn't show affection, so you grow up insecure. My siblings all have their own lives and show no interest in me what so ever. I can hardly blame them if they grew up with our mum like I have. Then again from how she raves about them maybe she showed them a side of her I don't even know exists. In my Mothers eyes I could do no right and would be constantly judged by the standards at which she holds so very dear, the success of my siblings.

"You're not as pretty as Latoya who makes a living as a model."

She will say this while tenderly stroking a picture of my sister, she is indeed very beautiful. Glorious black hair that travels down her back like a waterfall, chocolate brown eyes and bow like lips its as if she was sculpted rather than birthed. But Latoya rarely visited and often ignored my mothers attempts at contact.

"Not as Smart as Lawrence who is a Doctor and no where near as resourceful as Angel who married a good scientist and has a wonderful family"

A family might I add she has never seen but only hears about in letters but we mustn't mention such things. And Lawrence, Lawrence is a good doctor but he has his own demons, ones that if mum were to find out would probably drive her crazy with despair. Well it would if I didn't think that if she knew she would do her very best to turn a blind eye.

I think perhaps I feel so helpless against all this is because I never got what my siblings got. The freedom to go to school, make friends and be themselves. I don't even know what happened but for some bizarre reason I never attended school.

"The best you can hope for is to be an obedient wife and I hope to god you are baron, for if you have children they would only fall short knowing you"

Probably the most encouraging thing my mother has ever said to me, then saying that when all you know is being looked down on anything would seem like a slight glimmer. She's fixing my veil as I look on blankly at the mirror. As far as dresses go its pretty enough, a white gown that hugs my petite frame, I'm not well endowed but the dress hugs enough to let you know that I'm not androgenise. Its tide round my waste with a champagne coloured sash. The sleeves are long and have at the cuff a pattern of champagne coloured leaves.

I'm broken out of my thoughts by my Mother tutting and glaring at my hair. The veil is resting nicely on my recently curled auburn hair but I can tell she see's an issue. The colour of my auburn hair now looks even brighter against the veil making it look red and she will no doubt be thinking it looks garish. Out of all four of her children I am the only red haired one, and with her white skin its very striking, I stick out like a sore thumb.

"This is just a formality. A marriage of convenience. You're lucky someone is willing to even go this far."

Her bitter words and the look of sheer disgust are a sound and look I've become accustomed to but it still doesn't stop the pain, a pain I wish I could erase. I'm gritting my teeth to hold back the prickle of tears I can feel edging in the corner of my eyes, but I refuse to cry today. In some ways I will become free, well from her anyway. No more tears shall be wasted over her. I bitterly think to myself but I solemnly say instead.

"Yes, Mother. Very lucky."

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P.O.V Thomas

Fixing his shirt buttons back into place he glanced in the mirror to see the naked brides maid still sleeping, her blonde hair was a mess around her face and her skin was flushed from their little bit of exercise. Batchelor life is about to end may as well indulge one last time. Gonna be saddled with an unwanted bride and who knows how that will turn out, maybe a mistress will be in order but we shall see. Due to be married to a woman I've only stolen a side ways glance at. From that he gathered she is of a mousey personality. A push over. I suppose that's better than some pre-Madonna who will try to push her way onto me.

He takes a deep breath and it comes out in a faint sigh. A deal. He had promised his dying mother he'd wed on the 2nd anniversary of her death if he of course hadn't found someone by then. Thomas was in no rush to find a wife but he knew his mother meant well. A friend of the family has a daughter his age, apparently she isn't treated well by her mother so Thomas's mother took pity and had organised this before she had died in case he hadn't found an alternative. The girl was in "need".

"In need.... what did that even mean"

He pondered this and raked his fingers through his light brown hair. I guess my appearance will do no marks on me. It was a quickie he smirked at himself in the mirror. Shrugging on his suit jacket he heads out of the honeymoon suit and down the corridor to reception to greet the soon to be wife.

The hotel is quite grand but it doesn't interest me, the venue was picked by Thomas's father as he has been waiting for this day for so long, he has been whittling for some time that he would remain single and difficult, so no expense was spared. at least it wasn't a church wedding.

"A man of your age and stature cannot remain single and childless for long, remember you are the only son I have who can bare me grandchildren and I wont be ignored and neither will your mums last wish."

Now from that stern statement you'd think I was an only child... wrong. I have a younger brother, but he was injured, so he is unable to walk and all of his lower section is immobile. So, yes, even though I am the eldest and this would have fallen to me any way, it's even more important for the old fool that he has grandchildren. And lucky old me I'm the proverbial lamb to the slaughter. I shook my head and try to remove my crooked smirk, it was a low blow of the old man to bring mother into it.

At least this "wife" knows its all just a deal. As long as we play our parts, then in theory this should be an easy marriage.

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P.O.V Aila

My mouth is going dry and my nerves are getting the better of me. Walking down the corridor, I almost bump into the bridesmaid my mother has hired for me as with being isolated I have no friends of my own. She looks very flushed and is trying to pull her dress right, if I didn't know better it would seem she was rushing from having just been woken up, but its almost one in the afternoon.

She glances behind her at me and smirks while running further away. It made me feel a little unnerved. I continue my descent to the reception where i see my groom waiting there for me. He looks impatient and rather in a hurry to be done with this. The sooner we do this the sooner I can be away. I take a deep breath and continue down the last couple of steps.

Walking towards him I feel heavy like I've just signed a contact with death it self. His cold grey eyes stare at me and he looks me up and down as if sizing me up at a fare. Something flicks across his face like a thought he dared not say but its gone in an instant and I hear his voice break me out from my stare.

"My names Thomas. I guess we should at least know each others name since we are to be married." He says this while standing very straight like a queens guard.

His voice wasn't as grave as I thought it would sound, which slightly puts me at better ease, well ease enough to say in a not so confident tone.

"Aila. I would say nice to meet you but that may take time to establish"

Now that was ballsy of me and came out of no where I hid my own shock with my veil thankfully covering my face I can see a slight narrow of his eyes as he offers me his hand to walk towards the registrar. I gingerly accept his hand which is warm and he holds my hand limply as if to portrait that he isn't all that worried about this occasion and is just like what my mother said a "formality". I grip the white rose bouquet to keep from quivering.

"Lets see if we can make it to the end of the day before we have anymore witty comments"

That cold tone made me instantly regret anything I even said. Including my own name. Walking towards the man that would perform the service made me feel like I was in an alternate reality one that I was just passing through, I zoned out and answered everything correctly and politely right up until it came to the you may kiss the bride and then I felt my entire self freeze. And when I say freeze I mean freeze. My blood ran cold.

He placed his hands on my shoulders to turn me to face him and he lifted my veil what felt like a very slow and excruciating process. I willed him to just give me a peck on the cheek or forehead I'd never been kissed at all and was terrified of what it would be like. Mother never gave me any information or stories of love and said that a marriage was full of hardship and pain. The best way to get through it was to do as you are told.

But my fears were unfounded as he just lightly grazed his lips against mine for the barest second. Had I not felt it I wouldn't have thought he had done a thing. I look around towards my mother who isn't at all interested in me, and is just waiting for her part to play in the finale of signing me over.

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P.O.V Thomas

Her robotic answers made it apparent she was just the same as me just here for the day. Now was the part of the you may kiss the bride and I sigh inwardly, public displays of affection always made me cringe and even though it was me the vicar, her mother and my father only present it still felt like a chore.

Thomas turned her towards him, because if he hadn't he could have sworn she was rooted to the spot. I lift her veil and for a second I'm caught a little dumb struck. Her green eyes look warily at me as if I plan to eat her whole. Her red hair is curled round her lightly as if protecting her face, her skin is so pale you'd think she were a vampire from stories old. It was striking but not unpleasantly so. Why did I think her mousey?

I mentally kick myself and brush my lips across hers. The show must go on as it were. I think I feel her flinch but it was so quick I'm not entirely sure. We sign the certificate, my father and her mother sign the witness box and I get the coldest kiss on my cheek from her mother. Now if death could kiss he assumed that is what it would be like. It sent a shiver right down to his soul. The woman was striking herself but she quite literally looked the image of evil with her sparkling purple eyes. Was she even her mum?

Aila receives a warm embrace from my father but she looks as though she has no idea what he is even doing and gingerly pats him on the back. She honestly looks like she couldn't get away fast enough.

I narrow my eyes and wonder what on Earth has happened to a person that they don't even know basic affection. She really seemed like a shut in.

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