Divided heart

17. Sin

"Pain teaches you two things: fight it or drown with it."

-Sin-

The rainy season became their friend then. It masked the noisy hum of the food processor. This was the umpteenth piece of meat Heil was putting into the machine.

Candy piled the bones into a large garbage bag, tying it tightly so they could take it to the ceiling.

Heil glanced at the wall clock; past four o'clock. They had been working hard for four hours separating the meat from the bones and grinding it until it was smooth. They had also mopped the entire room clean, including removing the evidence: Aldo's phone, which had been playing metal music at the time.

"You said you don't remember when you stabbed Aldo?" Candy broke the silence.

Heil turned, looking at the girl's trembling hands, a stark contrast to her steady voice. This girl was scared. Heil blinked sadly. Was Candy now afraid of him?

"Yes." His answer was short. His voice was hoarse.

For a moment, Heil felt like he was losing control of his body. As if he wasn't the one steering this body. Heil didn't remember the process; when he regained consciousness, Aldo was already a corpse with a mutilated face.

Shock? Of course. Heil cried hysterically; Candy was the one who calmed his down. The girl was scared, but she was able to think clearly at the same time. For fifteen full minutes, she soothed Heil.

The dead won't come back to life, Candy had told him. It's done. All they could do was hide Aldo's body and pretend to live their normal lives.

So here these two girls were, turning Aldo's corpse into food.

"I'll mix it with spices so it doesn't smell and distribute it to our neighbors," Candy packed up after they finished grinding the meat, putting the food processor into a large cardboard box along with the ground meat.

"What... what if they ask where this meat came from?" Heil placed the bones on the dining table; later, he would tie them up with rope and pull them up to the ceiling.

Candy stood, staring intently at the cardboard box. "I'll say it's a gift from Dad. You know... Dad isn't close to the neighbors."

"They won't ask him? Or thank him?"

"No. Dad is notoriously cynical. People are afraid of him. He often comes home late, when everyone's already asleep."

Heil breathed a sigh of relief, then remembered something. "Candy... how could you... think of this to get rid of the evidence?"

"I... I read it in an article. Whether human meat tastes like animal meat."

"You know, that's not what I asked." They stood with their backs to each other. Heil gazed at the orange sky outside, and Candy stared at her own big toe.

A long silence ensued before Candy answered, "I've thought about this many times... to kill my father, every time he hits me." Heil turned, noticing Candy's shoulders trembling slightly.

Heil approached the girl, gently pulling Candy's head into his embrace and patting her back.

"I wanted to make my father disappear, maybe then I could be free from him."

"Why? All this time, you never just ran away?" Heil couldn't imagine if his own father treated his the way Candy's father did. Marvel was only his stepfather; there was no blood relation between them, so he could understand Marvel's harsh actions.

"Where would I run? He's my father. My only family. He'd find me no matter how far I ran. Unless... he died." Candy buried her face in the boy's body.

"Hey... will you promise me one thing?" Candy asked.

Heil nodded slowly.

"Help me kill my father, like I helped you take care of Aldo."

Heil swallowed nervously. He didn't want to kill anyone else. The feeling of his hands covered in someone else's blood was terrifying.

"I..." Heil's heart pounded. He could hear a faint whisper in his head, trying to take over the movement of his lips.

Help her, form an alliance, or she'll tell everyone about what you did.

"You'll do it, right? We'll make the best plan possible, don't worry." The girl pulled away and looked directly into Heil's eyes, demanding an answer.

"Of course," the words escaped Heil's lips without his realizing it. Someone was controlling his mouth. He felt uneasy.

Candy smiled sweetly. "If you forget, I'll remind you of your promise."

Heil nodded. Again, he felt like he wasn't in control of his body. A convex mirror became wavy, dominating all four sides of his consciousness. He screamed Candy's name, but strangely, his lips didn't follow Heil's commands.

Heil watched Candy leave. He walked the girl to the door and even waved goodbye. It was all beyond Heil's control.

As the front door closed, Heil saw himself walking to the bathroom and looking at the mirror above the sink. He tilted his head, smiling stiffly, like a grimace of pain.

"Hello, Heil. I know you can hear me." The voice sounded different now, raspy, firm, and forceful. As if an adult were speaking to a child.

Heil shook the convex mirror with all his might. "Who are you? What do you want?"

"I... I am you. The part of your anger, your hatred, and your revenge." The figure flashed a terrifying, crooked smile.

Heil, trembling in disbelief, said, "What do you mean?"

"You created me to deal with things you couldn't handle, your weaknesses, and also... your cowardice..."

"Impossible, you're not me...!!!" Heil stubbornly denied.

"That's true, we are actually different. I also don't want to be compared to a weakling like you, Heil." The figure laughed, mocking Heil's weakness.

"Be quiet, you have no right to control my body, it's mine."

"Have you forgotten..." Its hand wiped away the remaining water on the mirror, bringing its face closer to look at itself.

"Without me, you and that little girl would be dead. Shouldn't you be grateful, Heil?"

Heil stepped back, staring at the madness in his own reflection. "You... you killed Aldo?"

"You can call me Sin. Cool, right? I'm the sin you created, Heil." Sin chuckled.

"You're a murderer," Heil screamed.

"You're a murderer too, Heil. I'm a part of your dissatisfaction with the world. Accept this reality." Sin turned on the tap, washing the smell of meat from his hands. He scraped under his fingernails until there was no trace left.

"No..... no..... you're not me!!" Heil became hysterical, pounding the convex mirror with all his might. Vibrations formed; the waves became increasingly chaotic.

Sin twisted his head a full circle. "Ahh... so noisy. You should sleep now, Heil. I'll take care of everything, including your bastard father."

"No, no! Don't! Don't! Don't kill anymore!" Heil's scream was swallowed. Something pulled the black cloth covering the convex mirror. Darkness embraced his consciousness tightly. Darkness bound Heil. Darkness lulled the child into a deep sleep without any resistance.

Sin laughed. "Evil people must be removed from this earth, and so must the weak."