Divided heart

9. fear

"Until you allow it, no one will be able to enter.

-Sin-

The loud wail of an ambulance woke me. My heartbeat echoed as I opened the glass door, looking down from the third-floor circular balcony.

A group of men in police uniforms were milling about. Some were crouching near the trees. Others were combing the streets around Marina's apartment.

The apartment residents were also wandering around the area. Standing in small groups. A thin man looked directly at me. He waved his hand, urging me to come down. I responded with a brief nod.

My instincts sounded a warning. Before leaving my flat, I made sure my room was tidy. I rinsed the bathroom several more times. Making sure nothing was messy.

I took a deep breath and stepped towards the crowd of thin men.

The thin man looked over. "You're not working today?"

I weakly shook my head. "Feeling unwell. I want to take a leave."

"Mr. Robert," the thin man extended his hand. I shook it briefly.

"What's going on this early in the morning?" I put my trembling hands behind my jacket.

"This morning a body was found on the road near our apartment."

"A corpse?"

"Yes. You know Mr. Malvin? He's the victim."

"Mr. Malvin?" My brow furrowed.

"Mr. Malvin, the man who came when your apartment was burglarized. He was fat and bald."

"Oh, that grumpy man." Now Mr. Malvin's physical characteristics immediately came to mind.

"Yes, exactly!! His throat was slit. My son and I found his body this morning while we were taking a walk. He was very pale. There was no blood spatter. It was terrifying."

"It rained last night. It must have been washed away by the rain," said an old woman in a yellow dress.

"The police are searching the streets. Maybe they'll find some clues. It's so pitiful, his wife and daughter are over there." The woman pointed to two people near the police. A middle-aged woman and her daughter were crying loudly, explaining something.

"Who would have thought, right? We just met yesterday, and today he's gone." Mr. Robert sighed heavily.

"Mr. Robert, what did the police ask you earlier?" The woman in the yellow dress nudged Mr. Robert's arm. Her face was serious. I could see her hands trembling too.

"They asked about the chronology of the discovery of the body. They said the residents here would be checked one by one. Hopefully, they won't search our flats."

"Why is that? Didn't they say earlier that he might have been a victim of robbery, and that Mr. Malvin's wallet was also missing?"

"How did you know?" I asked.

The woman in the yellow dress turned to me; I saw her momentarily stunned. She swallowed, nervously before answering. "I heard it from the police on the phone. But let's hope they don't search our flats; it'll be a hassle cleaning up afterward."

"Yes, that's true, but what can we do? We can't fight the police. The suspicious thing is his thumb is missing. The police have been looking for his thumb for an hour, but haven't found it yet." Mr. Robert said.

"Thumb?" the woman asked, surprised.

"Yes, it's broken. I heard the perpetrator might have taken it."

My heart felt squeezed by an invisible hand. The events of last night flashed back into my mind. I remembered what it felt like holding that thumb. How I separated the flesh from the two bone segments, minced the flesh until it was fine, and then disposed of it all in the toilet.

That night, I immediately cleaned the floor. The entire room, even the previously inaccessible corners. My chest felt heavy. Someone not only burglarized my flat but also intended to make me a murder suspect.

Whoever they are, I have to find them before they destroy my life.

****

As Mr. Robert recounted, that evening, the local news broadcast Mr. Malvin's case. Several police officers also went around the flats to interview us.

Everything went smoothly; I could answer their questions well. Actually, I didn't know anything about Mr. Malvin's life. At the time of the incident, I was fast asleep.

After they were satisfied with the interviews, the officers left. I breathed a sigh of relief, my heart still pounding. I scolded myself, why should I be afraid if I didn't do anything wrong? However, even though I had cleaned the floor several times, anxiety still haunted me.

What if the police came back to each flat, sprayed luminol, and found traces of remaining blood? That terrifying thought haunted me all day. This was the seventh time I had tidied up my cleaning supplies.

The bottles of floor cleaner and dish soap were all used up. With a heavy heart, I decided to go to the nearest minimarket to buy everything I needed for tomorrow or the day after. I would keep cleaning this flat.

The stairs creaked loudly as I stepped on them; the smell of decaying wood filled my nostrils with every step, sunlight reflecting long shadows from the glass window.

Vaguely, I heard footsteps following behind me, small dragging steps. I turned around but found no one behind me. "Hello...?"

My voice echoed, but received no response. Feeling foolish, I hurried down the wooden stairs.

Again, those soft footsteps sounded. My heart pounded. I tightened my grip on the banister, almost running down the stairs, when a body collided with me as my feet landed on the first floor.

"Hey... watch out!" he exclaimed in surprise. Sweat drenched my body.

"Mr. Joni?" I asked nervously.

"Yes, who else? Why were you running, Loki?" The security guard patted my shoulder gently.

I took a quick breath, feeling immensely relieved to see another person.

"No, just to be quicker."

"You're young, you can run easily, but I can't anymore."

I smiled politely in agreement. I wanted to leave this place as soon as possible. I nodded politely and walked away from Mr. Joni.

"Loki," he suddenly called.

"Yes..."

"I didn't see you come back last night. I thought you stayed somewhere. Suddenly you appeared from upstairs." My brow furrowed.

"What do you mean? I was in my room last night, I didn't go out, Sir."

"But is that true? Last night at 11:00 PM, I saw you go out through the front door, wearing a hooded jacket like you usually wear. It wasn't clear because your face was covered by a mask. But... the build was the same."

I swallowed nervously, wondering if the murderer resembled me, mimicking my style.

"Maybe you saw wrong. I was really in my room."

"Really? I'm sure it was you." The security guard scratched his head in confusion.

"Maybe it was someone who looked like me."

Mr. Joni nodded slowly.

"Could be," he said.

Then I smiled slightly again, dismissing the man's suspicions. I nodded politely and took my leave.

Dark clouds dominated the horizon as the front door opened. The trees danced wildly in the strong cold wind, but the air I breathed felt like it was crushing my lungs.

I turned, shivering. Suddenly, it wasn't because of the cold, no. My gaze drifted towards the round balcony on the third floor. Someone stood there on my balcony. Long black hair covered their entire face. They raised their hand. Their thumb was tucked in, showing the number four; opening and closing consistently.

I blinked in confusion, as a fleeting image of a child curled up on the balcony with tears flashed in my mind. My head throbbed.

A second blink, and the child's head hit the railing, blood dripping down the iron bars and continuing to fall in slow motion.

On the third blink, the child ran into the flat. Cursing furiously, their contagious rage made me tremble violently. Somehow, flat number twenty seemed transparent. Another figure kicked the child from behind, slamming their head against the floor. The child screamed, along with my own enraged cry. He kicked the man away, grabbed a kitchen knife, and...

First stab, they sang; second stab, they cried; third stab, they smiled; fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, they laughed hysterically, cursing loudly. Bits of flesh were scattered on the floor, along with a pair of blood-soaked eyeballs.

On the fourth blink, the child turned to look directly at me, twisting their neck in a full circle. As if tired, they then turned back to the lifeless body, bowing their head into the sea of blood.

Hurts,, That's the last thing I felt as my body swayed, gravity pulling me down hard.

Fifth blink, everything faded away into absolute darkness.