Divided heart

11. silent mourning

"Love is an action, not just words. So is sin."

—Sin—

Their first meeting occurred on a Sunday morning when his mother opened the apartment door. The boy was lounging lazily on the round balcony, breathing in the air while humming along to the sound of a neighbor's flat-screen television. They didn't have that luxury; being able to eat and sleep under a roof was a luxury in itself.

"Heil, come here, dear." The woman in the blue dress waved to the boy, immediately interrupting his humming.

Heil woke up, stretching his young muscles with a wide yawn. Sunday was indeed a perfect day for lazing around. A bowl of snacks and a soda would perfectly complement the beautiful blue sky outside. If only, Heil sighed inwardly.

"This is Marvel. This is Heil." His mother introduced the two men.

Heil extended his hand, shaking the handsome brown-haired man's hand. He stared at Marvel for a long time, observing the thin beard on the man's strong jawline. How long until that beard was shaved again, and would he still want to meet his mother? Every man who came always left, with the same tired excuses that almost made Heil nauseous.

Sorry, I can't be with a widow who has a child. Sorry, I can't support both of you. Sorry, blah... blah... blah... Heil rolled his eyes. All the excuses always led back to him. If his mother were alone, would she be happier?

In fact, everything Heil had imagined never happened. Marvel continued to visit his mother day after day. Bringing Heil's favorite food and, of course, becoming the figure the child missed most: a father.

It all happened in a short time; Heil didn't even expect to miss Marvel when he didn't come. He always cursed the rain, scolded the sun, and clicked his tongue when the wind blew hard. Weather conditions prevented Marvel from visiting flat number 20.

At night, when the bedroom lights were turned off, his mother's soft snoring could be heard. He would kneel, praying earnestly, something a 12-year-old could do. Heil only asked for a father, and he deeply hoped it was Marvel.

His prayer was answered. After six months of dating, Marvel decided to propose to Heil's mother. That day was the happiest moment of Heil's life. The 12-year-old began to be grateful for his life. He thought God was fair enough. Whoever takes, will also replace.

Beyond that joyful day, Heil received another surprise. Marvel didn't move into flat number 20 alone. He brought a 17-year-old teenager with him. A brother figure for Heil. His new father never once mentioned the existence of his older brother, and suddenly... boom...!! the teenager entered Heil's life.

Okay! Although confused, Heil welcomed Aldo – his stepbrother – with joy.

Everything should have gone normally, a happy life with a complete family, as Heil had always dreamed of.

However, reality wasn't as beautiful as the stories in children's books. Aldo frequently caused problems for their small family.

One night, they were awakened by their father's phone ringing. The teenager was in trouble; a gang fight. Heil and his mother had to pick Aldo up from the police station. Meanwhile, a furious Marvel chose to stay home.

From that moment on, peace disappeared from their little family. Heil often saw Marvel hitting his older brother when he caused trouble, and Aldo would take out his anger on Heil.

He stole Heil's allowance, took his weekly snacks, snatched his toys, and stole his mother's affection. No matter how often Heil complained, his mother always said his brother needed time to adjust. Heil had to understand Aldo's behavior because he hadn't had a mother before.

Heil tried to understand; he was willing to share and suffered for several weeks because he ran out of allowance. Maybe his brother would change someday. Maybe his father would stop getting angry, and maybe his mother would have more free time for him. Since Marvel and Aldo joined their family, his mother worked twice as hard to support Aldo, the source of their problems. Meanwhile, Marvel chose to remain uninvolved.

Day after day, time slowly ticked by for the child. It became increasingly difficult. Heil finally stopped hoping; he looked at the December rain with a bitter heart, heartbroken at being sent home for not being able to pay his school fees. Before, that had never happened, even when they lived just the two of them.

His mother had forgotten him; she had another child who had replaced him – a stronger, more handsome child. Heil sighed; the raindrops soaked his school uniform as he slowly walked back to the Marina apartment.

The child screamed in surprise as a bright flash split the afternoon sky. Deafening thunder echoed loudly, accompanying his footsteps as he climbed the wooden stairs. 57 steps. Heil always liked counting his steps, but this time he almost ran because of the thunder.

Heil thought that everyone in the building must be outside. So, the child went into the flat using a spare key. He was surprised to find a pair of women's shoes neatly placed on the shoe rack.

Did his mother buy new shoes?

Anger welled up inside the child. His mother forgot to pay his school fees, but she could afford a beautiful new pair of shoes.

Heil took off his wet shoes, placing them upright so the rainwater could drain out. He still needed them tomorrow. Wet droplets accompanied Heil's steps. The child walked slowly as he heard a strange sound coming from the bathroom.

Were Mom and Dad home?

The moans of a woman and a man grew louder. Heil felt incredibly embarrassed. He knew what was happening in there. His male friends often talked about it.

But, the two people he loved were sharing love; what was wrong with that? Heil didn't want to disturb their happiness. So he chose to wait on the round balcony.

As the child was about to step onto the balcony, the bathroom door suddenly opened. Heil turned around in surprise. His eyes widened, almost popping out. The woman he thought was his mother was, in fact, another woman, and his father was embracing her naked.

"What...?" Marvel gasped, realizing Heil had caught him.

The man immediately dropped the woman, ran to grab the boy by the neck, and pushed him against the glass door. Heil didn't have time to react. His back hurt, but more than that, the child's heart ached.

Why...? Why...? He kept repeating the question in his mind.

"Shhh!! Don't cry, don't talk, and don't scream," Marvel threatened. "If you tell your mother, I'll kill you. Do you understand?" The man shook him violently.

Tears flowed freely. Was this what family was? Heil questioned his gratitude again. I feel sorry for my mother.

The frightened and injured child could only wallow in his sadness.