Divided heart

2. welcome back

"Don't you know? accumulating anger every day is the same as feeding the devil in your heart?"

- Sin-

A feeling of sadness filled the depths of my heart. It froze me for almost fifteen full minutes before I finally moved, or more accurately, slumped to the floor because of a cramp in my leg.

This was the first time I cried silently until I hiccuped like this. I tried desperately to hold back these damn tears, but I failed. It hurt... it ached... something felt like it was squeezing my heart.

Like a fool crying in the morning without knowing the reason. Silly, but it really happened. Sometimes we don't know how to deal with such a wave of emotions.

If people say that a toothache is better than a broken heart, now I know that statement is true. It's like you're breaking your own ribs; every breath is excruciatingly painful. Even though people can't see where the wound is, the wound leaves no scar and is invisible. But the pain gnaws at your emotions until you almost go crazy.

My lips kept trembling and I started rambling.

Why...? Why...?

Just looking at the round balcony with its low railing made my heart ache this much. What kind of joke is this? Even now, breakups and changing partners have never made me this messed up.

After the wave of emotions subsided, I roughly wiped my face, stood unsteadily, and walked towards the source of the problem: THE ROUND BALCONY.

Cool and breezy, but I couldn't bear the growing weight in my heart. I sighed, resting my forearms on the railing, closing my eyes for a moment, seeking peace.

"Heii...."

A woman's voice made me open my eyes and turn to the balcony next to my flat.

"Heiii...." she called again. I straightened up and walked closer to the source of the sound to see more clearly.

"Hello...." I replied hesitantly. The owner of the voice was still not visible.

The glass door next to her was also open; the soft sky-blue curtains swayed back and forth in the breeze. There were no signs of life. Was I hallucinating?

Damn it! I cursed inwardly. The worst first day of my life. No, I don't believe in supernatural things. Ghosts and the like are creations of humans who are afraid of sin, and the Devil takes advantage of that.

Ironically, I don't believe in ghosts but I do believe in the existence of the devil. Yes, the devil of evil in the heart of every human being that feeds the devil, making them live in the form of criminals. So, it can be said that humans are imperfect devils until they commit criminal acts.

Every human being is born sinful without being taught. Do you lie because you were taught by your parents? No, we learn from our own hearts. The devil has already dwelled in the heart of every human being, waiting for an opportunity to take over. It all depends on you. Can you drive it out or let it grow bigger? So it makes you afraid of everything. Then you start making supernatural stories. It's all because your mind is sick.

I cursed inwardly. CRAZY. My brain was now trapped in unfounded conspiracy theories. Enough, I took a deep breath. Enough with today's bad luck.

My body turned to go back into the flat when the voice sounded again.

"Heiii...." This time the woman's voice was louder.

"Don't play games, or you....." I turned quickly and fell silent.

A head with long black hair peeked from behind the glass door. I spontaneously held my breath and stepped back. Those pale fingers were now outstretched in a very, very slow movement towards me. Her nails were very black and long, unkempt.

"H..hei..., who are you?" I stammered. Oh God, all the hairs on my neck stood on end, I swallowed several times to calm myself. I spoke again.

"Hiii..... Starting today, I'll be living in flat number 20. Just call me Loki." A terrible introduction, my voice trembling with fear.

"Loki...?" A pair of pale legs stepped out, revealing the thin body of a girl in a worn yellow dress. Or perhaps it was white before.

"Loki Fuller," I replied.

"Loki...?" she repeated, as if in disbelief. Her long, slightly tangled black hair still covered most of her face. Only her pale lips were visible.

"Yes, Loki..." I pointed to myself for emphasis. Was this girl mentally challenged?

Silence hung between us for a long time. Suddenly, the girl approached the side railing, leaning her thin body out until she almost fell.

"Be careful!" I shouted spontaneously. I tried to reach her, but there were two meters between our balconies.

The girl straightened up and revealed her thick black hair. I gasped at the sight of a young, beautiful face with some bruises under her eyes and cheeks.

" Heiii...." she called again, her wide smile revealing her cute buck teeth, but it didn't match her wide, staring eyes. She looked at me as if she had found hidden treasure.

I stepped back because her face was so frightening. But I could still hear her soft voice from across the distance, even though we were quite far apart. My heart pounded. It felt like lightning struck as my eyelids reflexively closed.

"Welcome back..." she greeted softly.

"What...?"

My eyes widened in disbelief. What did that mean? Because this was the first time I had set foot in Marina's apartment. The first time I met her.

Who is this strange girl?

"Welcome, you mean?" Sweat started to trickle from my neck to my back.

She smiled again, biting her lower lip slightly as if teasing me, which only seemed frightening.

"Heiiii...., I'm so happy," she said. "Heiiii.. thank you."

Her words became increasingly strange, how could I answer? When I didn't understand what the strange girl was saying.

"What's your name?" Instead of asking about it, I asked the girl's identity. It's impossible to keep calling her a strange girl. Who knows, by getting to know her, I might get a clue from her.

Her eyelids closed and opened slowly, to emphasize a sad impression. Why wouldn't she answer? Okay, I also don't like dealing with strange girls I've just met.

"If you don't mind, it's okay...." I smiled wryly and wanted to turn around.

"Candy..." she said softly. "Heii.., you can call me Candy...."

"Can't you just call me by my name, Loki?" I emphasized. Not heiii, this girl is very impolite.

"Hei...," she called.

"L O K I FULLER...." I spelled it out one by one with emphasis.

"Heii...," she called again as if she didn't understand what I said.

If only there was a stone right now, I would have thrown it at her head to knock her unconscious. I'm so annoyed.

A loud bang of a door slamming shut from Candy's flat startled us both.

Candy blinked. She stared intently at me, as if trying to recall my face in her last memory, before finally taking a deep breath and turning away.

"Heiii..., see you again." The girl went into her flat.

I blinked in confusion, a few tears falling. That strange emotion again disturbed my helplessness.

I hate this.

I hate being unknown.

Who is Candy, really...?