A leap year to find love

CHAPTER 2: A LIFE SO BITTER

°°°Kim So Young Pov

It was always the same.

Everyday came with another promise broken.

"You do not understand child. All this would not have to happen if you finally amount to something, anything. Soo Young, you are nothing but a great disappointment."

My father's words echo in my head as I walked up the stairs to the front door. I prayed so hard that he would not be home. I found the key in the second flower pot and breathed a sigh of relief. He was not home.

I hate him. I really do.

But no matter how hard I tried to distance myself from him and his stupid gambling addiction, it was futile. And no matter how much I would beg, or scream and cry to him, nothing ever actually changes.

I went into the house and shut the door behind me, taking my shoes off. I sigh as I sink into the sofa in the living room while my fingers removed the straps of my worn-out backpack from my shoulders. I began to undo the buttons of my plain school uniform. The dull fabric had worn thin from ages of usage. This was mostly the cause of me being bullied at school.

My classmates laughed at me at every chance that they got. But they did not know about how hard my life was, or the double shifts that I had to do at the coffee shop, or the late nights studying between shifts at the convenience store. They had no idea what it was like to worry that a single slip-up could ruin everything.

They had no idea how privileged they were to have parents that actually cared for them. My father was supposed to have been a parent to me. But instead, I found myself always cleaning up after his broke ass. I would find myself rescuing him from casino debts with my hard earned money so that we don't go into more debt than we already had piled up. And it was insane how he never felt any remorse for all of this.

I stood and walked into my bedroom. The sight of my wardrobe door hanging open made me gasp in horror. I rushed there for an immediate inspection. My heart hung in my throat as I realized that it was gone, my tuition fee, all of it. My stupid gambling father had taken my money yet again.

It was the one that I had made from working three part-time jobs and painstakingly saving up. I had hidden the bundle in a sock and stashed it at the back of my wardrobe so that my father would not find it. He had and it was gone because his weakness was greater than him, he could never overcome that gambling addiction.

I did not even want to think about how it had happened, how he had stolen the last of my tuition money that I had worked so hard for. That money should have been able to cover my academic expenses for a while, from textbooks to my tuition fees and several others. And he had taken all of it, probably to his favorite casino down town where he always lost like the loser that he was, always sinking deeper into his huge debts.

I dashed out of my bedroom and out of the house, hurrying down the cracked sidewalks. My shoes pounded against the stone pavement as I hurried out of the front yard.l with tears and anger building up inside of me. I could kill my father if I laid my eyes on him.

The city was however as indifferent as ever to my problems, as indifferent as the weight that I carried. I dodged careless pedestrians at the green light as I crossed the highway.

My stomach churned with a familiar sense of dread, twisting with a panic that I felt each time I realized, yet again, that the person that I was supposed to depend on was more of a burden to me than any sort of help.

My blood boiled inside of me, the heat it expended rising inside my chest as I arrived at the block that held the casino. I could see it in the distance, its flashy light a glaring symbol of all the things that was wrong in my life. I felt utterly powerless as I came closer and closer to what would soon be my father's waterloo.

I can feel my blood boil, the heat rising in my chest as I rush toward the street where the casino looms in the distance, a glaring symbol of all the things wrong with my life.

As I approach the garish lights of the casino, everything about that place made my skin crawl. Everything from the stale, smoky air to the glittering machines that lured people into losing themselves and losing every other thing that they had. My father was a dangerous victim. I took a deep breath while dreading what I would find once I go in. He was here, and I was going to confront him.

The moment I crossed the threshold, I spotted him instantly in the corner. He was sitting, hunched over a poker table as his fingers nervously tapped the cards in his left hands. His other hand held a cigarette whilst his eyes kept darting to his opponents.

My stomach clenched in disgust as I watched him, the typical image of desperation. This man was supposed to be my father who had promised me three days ago to quit gambling. I realized then that his promises were as hollow as the emptiness he left in my life.

"Father!" I screamed so loud that everyone stopped. He looked up at me in shock. Guilt flashed across his face before he forced a grin. I stormed up to him with angry eyes

"Soo Young," he said getting to his feet. "This is not what it looks like I swear." I hissed angrily, as if I could ever believe him.

"This is not what it looks like?" I said in mockery, stepping closer. "Like I care what it does. You stole my money again! You stole the tuition fees that I made from toiling day and night and brought it here to gamble?!" I screamed at him.

"Soo Young I-" I could smell the stale whiskey on his breath that mixed with the lingering smoke in the air.

"Where is my money?!" I snapped. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet while trying to avoid my face. I said nothing as I began to search his pockets wildly. I came up with about half of the original bundle in his back pockets. At least half bread was better than none. He had not spent all of it. I was glad that I noticed in time. I turned on my heel, unable to stand the sight of him any longer, wanting to leave him there, standing in his own brokenness.

"So Young I am sorry. I just needed a little cash to get back on my feet. I just need one more round and we would be able to pay off our debts. I am doing this for us." I whirled around instantly with raised brows.

"For us?! You call putting us into more debts doing something for us? Are you kidding me?" I hissed in disbelief, unable to hold back my rage as my fists clenched at my sides.

“Soo Young, you need to calm down now. Everything will be fine because l will make sure of it. I got this child, I am not useless like you, I swear it.” His words made me flush. I considered connecting my fists with his face because I could actually pack a good punch.

“I have had enough of you,” I told him through gritted teeth, stepping away from him with force. “You promised me that you were done with this gambling of a thing. Surprise! Surprise! It turns out that you are the greatest liar of the century. I can not keep doing this with you anymore. I am trying to have a life but you keep ruining it and attempting to drag me down with you.”

"I will stop okay," he said with guilty eyes. He looked apologetic but I knew better. "I just need a little more time, okay?” he ended with a shrug.

I shook my head as tears burned the back of my eyes, causing my vision to be blurry. “No father, there is no more time for you. I am done.”

"I will change," he whispered. "I swear it this time Soo Young. Please." I didn't believe him, couldn't believe him when his every word held a broken promise. It was the same plea with the same empty assurance.

"No, not this time." And with one last look, I turned and walked away.

As I walked away, a familiar heaviness settled over me, unyielding.

It was always the same.

The cycle never changed.

He would lie and promise to quit. And then I would be left to pick up the pieces, again.