Choices (Dear Jann Series 2)

Chapter 3: Melancholy

"You simply can't please everyone."

It was one of the most significant things that I've undoubtedly learned in my teenage years. No matter how hard you try to modify the image that other people made on you, it would never be enough. They would consistently find flaws and rub it in your face.

That was exactly what I was feeling when I saw the stares coming from Nia's dad. I believed I behaved myself since that event and did my best too to change, but he was unimpressed at all. I tried living to other people's expectations, but, sometimes, you simply give up and be yourself. Acceptance was the key.

“Hello? Earth to Janniquine? Are you still with us?”asked Jessa sarcastically.

Her question recalled me up from my reverie of the past. I took a breath and smiled at her to indicate I was okay. Sometimes, I really think "karma” was for real. Probably all my inappropriate actions would soon catch up with me. It essentially made me shiver to my bones.

“You had been very quiet after your message. Want to share what's bothering you?” she asked with apparent concern on her face.

I didn't know how to start talking, so I gave her a wry smile and looked at Nia’s father’s direction. He was no longer looking at me and was smiling already while observing the event and listening to all the hearty wishes for his beloved daughter. I heaved a sigh. I secretly wished I had the courage to speak with him again just like the old days.

“It’s okay. Maybe he doesn’t remember. I am sure he forgave you already.” Jessa said, trying to console me.

“He does remember. He could have executed me with his stares.” I said and Jessa laughed gently.

“Silly. That was a long time ago. I don’t think he still does. Besides, he won't permit Nia to invite you if he still feels bad about that.” she said, and we both went back watching the event.

Jessa had a key point. I sincerely hoped she was right about it. Probably, she was. Probably, Nia’s father had forgotten about it. Besides, we never had any issue again since that event. Nia was always with June now. They were best buddies and typically spent most of their time together. Most of the time, we were not part of it. Seems like they have their own world just like Jessa and I.

The master of ceremony called the rest of us in front to give their treasure and provided their messages. Everything went smoothly and we were all enjoying it. After the 18 treasures, he gleefully announced the 18 flowers will follow shortly. We were all excitedly looking forward to it because we wanted to see who would be the last dance of Nia. Before the start of the 18 flowers, Nia tentatively approached us.

"Guys, he didn't make it. He is busy." we all knew who she was referring to.

She gave us a lovely smile and went back to her seat on the mini stage. She forced a smile for everyone as the giving of flowers started. We, on the other hand, we're disappointed about it.

The 18 flowers started with her father. They danced for a few seconds, and her brother came next. The rest of the guys followed. Most of them were family friends and church members. We still tried to enjoy it even with our disappointment of not meeting her boyfriend.

"I was looking forward to meeting him," Marian said as we were watching them.

"Make that two." I seconded, and Marian laughed.

"So, June, any idea why he didn't come?" May asked.

"Why ask me?" June replied defensively.

"You guys are always together. So, we were hoping you would know something," says Andrea.

"No, sorry, guys. I am disappointed, too, just like you. I wish I knew." replied June.

We couldn't get more answers, so we just proceeded to watch. It felt like forever while waiting for the 18 flowers to finish. Probably, because our expectation died before it even began. We still tried to enjoy ourselves for the sake of Nia. Finally, the dance was over, and Nia joined us at our table while we were being served with our food.

“Hello, guys. Geez thank you all for making it here and behaving.” Nia said as she winked at me.

“It would have been better if he attended it.” June said and we all seconded to it.

“I know. It would have been better, but he was busy. Anyway, there were a lot of the 18 flowers who didn’t make it. Most of them were just proxy. You guys made my night. Thank you all.” we all hugged her and proceeded eating our served food.

While we were eating, my eyes wandered around and got glued to the stairs going to their church. There he was walking down the stairs. I knew he was in a hurry but everything seemed to be moving so slow in my very eyes. His every step down the stairs was like a step every three seconds. How was that even possible? The music toned down and everyone was slowly drifting away and becoming invisible. Why were they vanishing? Are those bubbles? Why do I see bubbles everywhere? Mostly surrounding him. His face was registered in my head at once and all I could think of was him. He looked my way as he descended the stairs and headed our way. I knew I was looking stupid. I felt like I was drooling over some good-looking guy. He went to sit beside Ruby and Theresa and all the bubbles just pooped!

“Hello Ruby and Theresa. How are you?” he asked as soon as he approached the two.

“Where were you? I had been looking everywhere for you. Damn, you’re so late!” Ruby said as she gave him an eye roll.

“Yeah. You promised to be early.” Theresa scolded.

“Sorry. My mom requested me to check on something in the church.” he replied shyly.

I saw him smile my way and looked back to Ruby. Did I just blush? I didn’t have any clue as to who he was and how he knew Ruby and Theresa. But there was something about him that made me want to stare on his face.

The noise from the party suddenly became so irritating in my ears as I came to realize what was happening. I tried my best to ignore him but secretly eyeing on him at the corner of my eyes. He was there giggling with Ruby and Theresa. Why was he giggling with them? How do they know each other anyway? Ruby and Theresa were my friends for a long time but I never saw them with him. Who the hell was he? My brain was so irritated thinking about them. I couldn't contain what I was feeling so I stood up and went to the other table where other acquaintances of mine were seated. I saw him looking up when I left but I ignored it. What the hell was happening to me?

I was seated on the other table while eating but I could still hear them giggling. I was sure Ruby and Theresa knew him a lot by the way they were chatting. I couldn't help but look back at them when they laughed loudly. Why does the sight of him seated next to Jessa make me sad? I didn’t understand myself and was starting to hate what I was feeling. What the hell was happening to me? No! This can't be real. I never felt like this before for any other guy. Is Jessa and Marian right about “love at first sight”? That's just a stupid fairy tale. No it can't be. I can't be in love with someone I don't even know his name. I find it insane.

“Hey, are you okay?” Nia asked as she approached me. I smiled at her.

“I am doing good. Happy birthday again, girl.” I said as I hugged her again.

“Hmmm Jann, I don't know if it matters, but I want you to know that my dad is okay with us. Don't worry about the past.” she said.

“Thank you. It means a lot to me.” I said and we both laughed.

We went about the party and I did everything to enjoy as much as I could. I didn’t see him with Ruby and Theresa any more so I joined them again on our table. Everyone was enjoying the food and music. While we were eating some cake, Nia placed some icing on June’s face and started running away. Everyone else followed and started placing icing on anybody’s face. Everyone was running around just to avoid getting some icing on their faces.

“Damn it, Marian. Stay away from me.” I yelled as she tried to run after me to place some icing.

I was glad she wasn’t able to catch up with me. To avoid having some icing on my face, I ran towards the washroom to hide from people running around. On my way there, I felt and knew that someone was behind me. I turned around with the icing on my hand and placed it on the face of the person there. I was so surprised to find him standing behind me and laughing. I was so speechless.

“I’m just going to use the washroom. I don’t have any icing with me,” he said, smiling while wiping away the icing on his face.

He looked at me and smiled more. Damn, that smile. Why was it so captivating? I couldn't get myself to say anything. All I did was to stare on his lovely face. I felt myself blushing just staring at him. His eyes were the most expressive eyes I ever saw. His nose was a high ridge, and those lips were so seductive. Just by looking at those luscious lips makes me want to kiss it. Damn, I was becoming a p*****t.

“Hi, I am Markus.” I heard him say but left before I could even give my name back.

He was gone walking away from me with a smile. A smile that will haunt me for years. A smile that will ease all hatred and gloom that I felt. His eyes and smile were the two things stuck in my memory from that day onward.

Damn, it was the first time I was so speechless in front of a guy. It was a good feeling and at the same time, infuriating. It was an alien feeling and I really couldn’t describe. I hated the way that I can’t express what I was feeling. On the other hand, I love how my heart jumps when he smiles at me. There was something in his eyes and smile that made me smile on my own and made me feel so beautiful. I smiled as I remember how he laughed when I placed the icing on his face.

“What’s wrong with you?” asked Marian as she approached me.

My daydreaming ended when I heard her speak. Marian was with May when she asked me. Both of them were filled with icing on their faces and hair. I laughed at the sight of them.

“So you were hiding here all the time. You’re so unfair.” May said and made her way to the washroom.

I joined them still laughing at how they looked. We passed by the men’s washroom and I secretly prayed that I would see him. Unfortunately, no. We went inside the washroom and cleaned up. While cleaning up, we heard Jessa with Ruby heading our way. They were there to clean up too.

“OMG, this party rocks!” exclaimed Ruby as she joined us.

“Seriously, Ruby. And you know what makes the party more fun?” Jessa asked.

“What?” asked Ruby back.

“Him! Damn he’s so cute and honestly, I really like him a lot. Like really a lot!” Jessa said and even embraced herself to show how excited she was.

“Silly. Don’t get carried away. He is just a normal guy and besides, maybe he is already taken.” said Ruby which made Jessa pout.

“You’re so mean. I thought you were my friend. I was just saying Markus is really cute and I like him. What’s wrong with that?” defended Jessa.

“Who?” asked Marian, joining the conversation.

“Markus!” Jessa gleefully answered.