Choices (Dear Jann Series 2)

Chapter 12: Cool Off

"Cool off in a relationship for some may mean giving each other a breathing space; for some, it's a chance to escape." Quotesempire.com

The next few days were busy ones, and I always went home really late because of our prom dance practices. I was busy carefully choreographing the dance steps and instructing it to my classmates. Perfection was always my line when it comes to dancing. I was so engrossed with our practices mostly because I could see Dennis all the time.

“Why the hell are you flirting with Dennis?” Jessa asked when she saw me looking at him.

“Silly. I am not.” I responded rather rapidly.

“You’re so visible, girl. Forget him and be worried about not having a partner still for the prom.” she said and went to our practice again.

That was silly. I heaved a sigh and went to the practice area as well. However, before I could join my classmates, Dennis cautiously approached me with a broad smile.

"Hey, how are you?" he asked smiling.

"I'm good. How is the practice going?" I asked back with a smile.

"Terrible. You know I don't dance. You, on the other hand, are still great. Same old Jann, that I used to know. Best dancer ever." he answered shyly.

I blushed with his complement. Butterflies in my tummy started flying around and it made me speechless. I just nodded and went to join my classmates. I was still smiling when I looked back at him. He was still looking at me too with a sweet smile on his face. However, my gaze went past him and saw Markus in a distance looking so furious. He was gone before I could move a muscle. Oh crap!

Some of my male classmates escorted me home after our practice. It was pretty late too so I agreed when they eagerly volunteered to walk me home. I was about to go inside the house when I heard him in the shadows.

"Jann." Markus called as he slowly showed himself.

"You're here. It's already late." I said confused.

"I waited for you. I haven't seen you for a while. I missed you." he said as he continued approaching me.

"Sorry. I was just busy with our practices." I carefully explained.

"With your practices? Which one? The dance or with that guy?" he said angrily.

There was so much anger in his face. His face was red, and his gaze was like daggers. I hated looking at that facial reaction. I had calmed myself before I replied back.

"What the hell are you doing? Are you stalking me? As far as I know, I am not doing anything wrong." I kept my cool as I said those to him.

"As far as I know, I am your boyfriend and I have the right to know where you are and what you are doing." he replied still furiously but keeping his voice down.

"Excuse me? Like what you said, you are just my boyfriend and not my parents. I don't need asking permission from you." I said and turned to gently open the door.

This time, I was really irritated. How dare him stalk on me? What was that about getting his permission first before I do things? That is not me, and I do not intend to change it. He's so annoying. Before I could enter the house, I turned around and faced him once more.

"By the way, since I will be busy and you are thinking otherwise, let's call it off. Cool off for a while to think things over. One week cool off." I said and carefully shut the door behind me.

*****

True to what I told him, Markus didn’t show up for the next few days. I didn’t really mind it since I didn’t want any potential distraction with the upcoming events. Both our graduation was fast approaching, so I know that we are busy with a lot of things. Maybe, just maybe, the cool off was a clever idea for both of us. I thought it was until I saw my friends.

“What the hell are you thinking?” Ruby asked me as soon as I arrived at school.

“What did I do this time?” I was confused.

Instead of replying to me, she jerked me away from the group. I could see she was furious with the way she was grabbing me by the hand. Her pleasant face was red too, probably because of whatever was making her angry. She spun around to see me face to face.

“Why are you doing that to Markus? Are you really that cold hearted for treating him like that?” she blasted on me.

“What the hell are you talking about?” I said, starting to get annoyed.

“Damn it. Jann! Is Markus just one of your toys again?” she asked obviously annoyed too.

“How dare you accuse me?! What do you care about?” I said with my voice slightly louder than my normal tone.

As if Ruby was awakened by my tone. She relaxed and took a deep breath. She looked away for a while and looked back at me. She was looking cool and looked a bit sorry for acting out on me earlier.

“Sorry. I just couldn’t stop what I was feeling. I was furious when I learned that you cooled off with Markus.” she explained.

“What is that with you? Just so you know, not every relationship is happy all the time. They undergo bad days too. Markus and I are no different.” I said a matter-of-fact to her.

“I know that. I just don’t understand why? You guys are just starting and now this? Don’t you think it’s a little too early for a cool off? It is almost like a break up.” she said.

I didn’t answer because I was really irritated with her. She is my friend but I think she was going way too much involved with my relationships.

“I know I should not be involved in your relationship, but I just don’t like how it was affecting Markus. He was so sad when you decided to have a cool off with him. Look, I promise not to get involved with your relationship anymore. But please, if you plan on playing, not Markus. He loves you so much. Do not play games with him.” she said and walked away from me.

I hated her for being so honest. I know I was to blame for what happened, but the relationship was becoming so suffocating to me. Markus was so demanding and wants to be with me always. I wanted to be free even if we are on. Probably because I had been like that with my previous relationships. I hated it so much, and I honestly miss him already.

*****

One mild night after our practice, I went home to find my sister very angry at me. I was taken aback when she stared at me with so much hatred in her eyes. It was simply not her to hate me for something I did.

“Where the hell have you been? It is so late. Is this your usual time to come home?” she asked annoyed.

“We had our practice for the prom.” I simply answered as I sat down on the couch feeling so tired.

“Did it even occur to you that someone was here waiting for you? Markus had been waiting for you for three hours. I am sure you know that he is here because he is always here.” she almost yelled at me.

“I told him not to come because I am busy with the dance practice. We already talked about it.” I explained.

“You talked about it? He said you cooled off with him.” she said.

“He told you that?”

“Yes, he did. Jann, that is so selfish. Not because you are busy with other things means that you need to do that. He is your boyfriend. The moment you decided to start the relationship with him, you gave him the right to worry about you, to care for you, and you should do the same thing too. Why even bother having a relationship if you can’t reciprocate what he feels for you. Don’t be stupid. You are not a baby anymore, and you are a smart woman. I know you understand what I am saying. Do not be selfish. You need to consider what other people feel too.” she lengthily said and left me alone on the couch.

I was left alone on the couch, and it made me think about what I had been doing. Are they right about me? Am I being so mean and selfish for my decision? I just didn’t want to pressure Markus because I was busy with a lot of stuff. I will definitely lie if I say I don’t miss him at all. I do miss him a lot. I guess I need to do something about us.

*****

We were having our usual practice for the prom. While we were dancing, I saw Jona Almirol standing beside the door and was looking in my direction. She waved at me and signed that she wanted to talk to me. I excused myself from the group and approached her.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked as I was walking towards her.

“Can we talk?” she said and gave a small smile.

I shrugged and nodded as an approval. We moved a little farther from the practice area. I can feel that she was trying so hard to control her emotions. It was more like she was angry at me for some reason. I took a deep breath when she looked at me and started talking.

“Do you know my relationship with Markus?” she asked.

“A girlfriend?” I answered jokingly.

However, it was only me who laughed on my own joke. I don’t know what came into me, and I answered that. Obviously, I wasn’t thinking at all.

“Are you serious? I am not here to joke with you, Jann.” she said.

“Okay. Sorry. What is it about?” I said apologetically.

“Markus is my nephew. He told me all about the two of you. I know you guys are dating.”

“You what?”

“Yes, I know all about you two. Look, Jann. I heard a lot of things about you and honestly I don’t care about it because I saw how happy my nephew was when you guys started dating.” she said.

I was speechless. It now made sense to me. Of course she is the auntie. They had the same last name. How could I miss that? I wasn’t really thinking? Now she was telling me about Markus. I couldn’t believe a guy could be so open with what he felt. Was he that close to her to tell her about us? It made me more curious than ever.

“I get it. You worry about your age gap? So what? Since when did age matter when you love someone? You were worried about Jessa? Get real, Jann. We would always hurt someone in any relationship that we have. It’s reality. Don’t be silly, Jann. I like you. I really do. If you are going to ask me, I think you and my nephew will be a great couple. Just give yourselves some chance to be happy.” she added.

Sincerity was written all over her face as she said those words to me. It made me realize what I was actually missing. I found myself in tears as the rain started pouring as well. She hugged me tightly and whispered in my ears.

“Someone is here to see you.” she said.

“What? Who?” I was confused.

She smiled and pointed behind me. I turned around and found Markus standing under the rain. I was surprised to see him.

“What the hell - “ was all I could say.

“Here, I think you will need this.” Jona said as she handed me an umbrella.

She beamed and gently pushed me to go to Markus. I took the umbrella and smiled at her. I opened the umbrella and voluntarily went to Markus. He was looking so serious standing under the rain as he watched me approach him.