Book 1- Tainted

Chapter 13 : Whose Side Are You On?

I felt antsy being trapped in that room for hours. Abby still hadn't returned and I was worried sick about Adrian. I wanted to know how he was doing. I wanted to talk to him. I had a million questions burning through my mind. 

    He was my guardian, his assignment was to get close to me. Exactly how close? He kissed me, was that a ploy? Or did he actually like me. He said he liked me. But what if that wasn't true. I was so freaking confused. I couldn't tell what was fact or fiction. I just needed to talk to him.

    My heart break felt impending. I could already feel the phantom pains of ice shards splintering my heart. Like a clock counting down the minutes, it was only a matter of time. I wanted to cling onto the hope that he might have real feelings for me. But that was a little hard to do when the wall that had been pulled over my eyes my entire life, had suddenly been demolished and I realized that my whole existence had been a lie. I didn't know the meaning of truth anymore.

     I slumped down onto the bed, giving into my sore muscles that begged for me to sit down. I curled in on myself, letting the tears I had been holding back finally fall. I couldn't resist it any more. Everything in my life was crumbling, all I had known, everything I had believed to be true was nothing but a lie. 

     My mother's death, oh goddess. I'd been led to believe that she'd perished in a car accident. How could they keep it all from me? She was murdered by a demon.  Demons were real, so were witches. This was all madness. Nothing was making sense. Facts had been laid out in front of me like puzzle pieces, but for the life of me I couldn't see the picture clear enough to put the pieces together. 

      I had spent my whole life believing my mother had been killed by a drunk driver. It's what I knew as fact. I was also led to believe that I was human, that was also a fact. These where pieces I could put together into a picture I could clearly see. But that picture had dissolved and replaced by one that I found blurry. 

      What did this all mean for me?  

     I was a witch. A witch? Goddess, this was ridiculous. I wasn't magical. I would know. That's something someone would know about themselves, right? I exhibited no traces of magical abilities. Things didn't float around me, I didn't have glowing hands and I sure has hell couldn't conjure up things from thin air. I couldn't be a witch, I just couldn't be.

       I jumped back to my feet, pacing. I had a feeling, if I stood still, even just for a second, I would implode. I couldn't deal with this, it was all too much. I just wanted to go home. 

     Where was Abby? 

     I was freaking out, to put it lightly. And to top it all, I was still increasingly worried about Adrian. I wanted him to be okay. I cared about him even if he didn't care for me too. I was stupid for caring, after all, he had lied to me. I felt betrayed above anything. I felt like I didn't even know him. Was it all an act? 

     Everything inside me leaned towards yes. It was an easier truth to believe. Why would anyone like him actually care for someone like me? I wasn't worth it. Of course he didn't like me. Why would he? I was stupid for letting myself fall for it. 

      I paced back and forth, nervously running my hands through my hair. I was falling apart, I knew it. Tears streamed ceaseless down my cheeks and I sobbed quietly in the empty room. 

     It wasn't until a couple of minutes later that a knock at the door interrupted my pacing. Wiping my cheeks first, I went to open it, standing in the threshold of the door was Adrian. My arms were wrapped around his neck instantly. 

     "Adrian," I said, relief out weighing my insecurities "you're okay?" 

     "I'm okay, just a little sore," he said and I could hear the smile in his voice. "How are you doing?"

     I let go of him taking a step back before I shrugged, "Good, considering..." 

     "Abby told me you were in the infirmary," I said, my eyes scanning his body for injuries, but besides a couple of bruises he seemed fine.  

      "I was, I got bored." He shrugged walking further into the room. I closed the door after him. "And I was worried about you." I blushed a little as I followed him onto the bed. I stared into his eyes, wondering how far true that was. 

    "Were you really?" There was a bit in my words I didn't recognize. But with everything I had just learnt I couldn't help but doubt his words. He crooked a brow as I folded my arms over my chest. The atmosphere had drastically changed. Something heavy thickened the air. "I know everything, now. You don't have to pretend."

    "What are you talking about?" He asked, a crinkle forming between his brows.

     "I know about the guardian thing, that you were supposed to get close to me. You don't have to act like you care anymore," I told him.

      "I'm not acting," he claimed.

     "How am I supposed to believe you after you lied to me." I turned away from him. "Do you... Do you even like me?" My eyes threatened to tear up but I swallowed down the pathetic tears. How humility would it be if I bust into tears at this moment?

   "I'm sorry for lying to you." He scooched closer to me and I scooched further, "It's just... I had a job to do, a duty to uphold."

    "Is that all I ever was to you, a job?" I asked but the words trembled as they came out.

     "No, no that's not what I mean." He held my gaze, "Mark, I like you." 

     "I don't believe you," I shied away from his gaze. I got up to my feet stepping away from him. "I don't know how to believe you. You lied to me. You all did. This goes beyond the fact that you didn't tell me about the whole guardian thing. You should have told me about being a witch."

     "It's more complicated than that." He got up from the bed coming to stand in front of me. 

      "No it's not. You could have told me. This is my life," my voice rose, "I deserved the truth. I'm a witch, you kept that from me. My mother's death, everything, you knew and you didn't tell me." 

     Anger I had no idea was inside me, suddenly erupted. I felt a burning in my chest. I felt hurt, betrayed. He was supposed to be my friend, Abby and Paige too, but it was all a lie. And it hurt. The deception cut me like a hot blade. Why would they do this to me? In what way was this protection? I just felt hurt.

     "Mark," he grabbed hold of my hand and I jerked it away, taking a step further away from him. "It was for your safety."

     "Bullshit," I huffed, "I'm tired of people saying that, I don't need your protection." A tear streaked down my cheek and I turned from him in a haste, fiercely wiping under my eyes. People were always making choices for me, telling me it was for my best. I was sick of it all. 

      "I wanna go home," I demanded, my hands were trembling but I tried to keep my voice even.

       "Marcus—" he tried to reach for me but I was beyond reach. I was tired of this. All of it. I took another step from him.

       "I'm done Adrian," I crossed my arms over my chest turning away from him. 

      "I'll talk to the council," he said in resignation, before he slipped past me and out the door. I crumbled onto the bed, weeping. 

     What did I just do?

      The moment the door shut, I deflated. All that anger seeped out of me and all I felt was guilt. Was I wrong to be upset with him? Or was my anger justified? 

      He lied to me, from day one. Kept this whole world from me. Didn't I at least deserve to show my grievance? What type of person would do this to someone they supposedly cared about? He didn't like me, he never did.

...................

An hour later the door swung open. I sat up straight as Paige walked into the room. I'd spent my time crying like the heart broken i***t I was. My face was blotchy and my eyes were puffy, but I tried to look composed as she came to stand in front of me.

      "Get up, I'm taking you home," she barked, the usual friendliness that always laced her words was absent. Her tone was brusque. I sniffled wiping away the tears before I rose to my feet. 

       She gripped my forearm, "hold on and don't let go of me," she commanded and I grabbed hold of her arm. We disappeared in a pillar of smoke, traveling through space and time in a swirling wave, we landed in front of my house. 

    My legs wobbled at our landing and my stomach threatened to spill but I swallowed down the nausea. "What was that?" I asked gasping for air.

    "Teleportation," she patted my back, none to kindly, "you'll be fine." 

     "I'm getting the feeling you don't like me." 

     "Maybe it's because I don't." She said coldly.

     "So you were just pretending to be my friend?" I phrased it as a question but I already knew the answer. Of course she was pretending, they all were. She was the only one decent enough to just say it to me. Abby and Adrian still wanted to pretend but I was sick of the secrets and lies. 

      "Yes, but I don't have to anymore," she crossed her arms over her chest and scowled.  

       "Okay," I said indifferently. 

       "Okay?" She rose a brow.

       "Thanks for getting me home," I said turning towards the house, "I'll see you around." 

       "Yeah, whatever," she was gone by the time I turned my head. 

      I turned towards the house, making it up the front steps. It was early afternoon so the odds of me successfully sneaking in unnoticed weren't that high. They'd obviously would have noticed by now that I wasn't in the house. I could already hear the lecture waiting for me. 

      I creaked open the front door, poking my head in to check for people. The foyer was clear. Once inside I softly shut the door behind me. I tip toed my way upstairs, I was almost to my room when someone called out my name.

     I cussed under my breath. I just wanted to get to room, was that too much to ask for?  Turning around I found my father standing by the door of his office. He stepped into his office and I followed after him.

     He stood in front of his desk. I walked in with my head hung low. "I was worried sick," he stated arms crossed in front of his chest. "Where were you?" 

      I recked my mind for an excuse but nothing came to mind. He scrutinized me and I swallowed before I spoke. "I went to a party," I said sheepishly, as I shrunk under his harsh reprimanding gaze.

      "I warned you about unruly behavior. I can't have you disappearing like this. You promised you'd behave, you lied." His voice was stern and normally I would shrink under such a reprimand but this time I couldn't help but think how hypocritical he was being. Sure I lied about my intentions and snuck out to a party but his lies were far more severe. He'd been lying to me my whole life, he had no right to call me out.

     "That's rich," I spat, my tone intentionally bitter.  

      "Excuse me?" He asked incredulously. 

       "You've been lying to me all my life. You've been lying to me about everything, about mom."

       "I've never lied to you," he claimed, all the sternness of his expression melting off as he furrowed his brows.

      "I know what she was and how she really died."

      "What do you mean?" I turned around shutting the wooden door before reverting my attention back to my father.

     "You know what I mean. She was a witch and you never told me. She was killed by a demon and you kept that from me."

      "Who told you," he eyes were wide opened, he clearly wasn't expecting this turn of events. 

      "It doesn't matter. You lied to me," I crossed my arms over my chest, "I know we've never been close, but keeping something this big from me is just too much. She was my mother, I deserved to know," I was on the verge of tears. 

      "You don't understand," he placed his hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off, stepping away from him. 

      "Then help me understand. Why did you keep this from me?" 

      "She didn't want you to know," he settled on top of his desk as he sighed exasperatedly, "she walked away from that world. She wanted a normal life, for you as well. And after she died I tried to uphold her wishes.  The supernatural world is dangerous, your mother was taken away from us because of what lies in its shadows. Marcus, I've just been try to protect you.

       "It's why I sent you away to that school. You were supposed to be safe there. It's warded to keep people undetectable to demons. It pained me to send you away so soon after your her death, but your safety was concerned and I couldn't risk it.

     "I couldn't lose you like..." His voice hitched as he struggled to complete the sentence. "...Like I lost her."

       My earlier resolve melted away. Every ounce of anger seeped away. I'd never seen my father like this. For the first time in my life he was expressing emotion in front of me. His guard was down, the façade dissolved and the man who was before me wasn't the man I'd known all my life, but I preferred the stranger. He was honest. It's all I ever wanted from my father; transparency. I was sick of the secrets and lies. I just wanted the truth and that's what he was providing.

      I pushed aside the documents on his desk and sat next to him. I rested my hand on his shoulder. His sea–green eyes met my grey ones, "You're not going to lose me," I told him and I hoped to the goddess I could keep that promise. 

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