Book 1- Tainted

Chapter 17 : Daydream

I had been in and out of hospitals for most of my life. I was three years old when I had my first visit. It was the beginning to a long list of hospital stays. My longest stay was when I was ten. I was in the hospital for about three months, before they decided that I was well enough to return home. 

      I was happy to be going back home, I absolutely despised hospitals. But something about this return home was different. My mom always took extra care of me after my visits to the hospital but this time she was being excessive. 

      She wouldn't leave my side even for a second. She overloaded my bed with pillows so I'd be comfortable. She constantly asked if I needed anything. At the time I thought it was rather annoying. But I understood her concerns. I wasn't getting better.

      I always got better, I'd be sick for a couple of weeks but I always got better. But something about this time told me that I wasn't going to get better. I wasn't ever going to be better. I was dying.

      I could see it in her eyes, she was trying to hide it, put on a brave face. But I could see it, she was scared. 

      Strange enough, I wasn't, at least not in the way I should have been. Nothing about my life had ever been normal. I barely left my house, I had no friends and I was always sick. I knew this day was coming. I knew I was dying. I was lucky I had made it this long. 

       I was scared of losing the people I cared about, my mom, Harrod and my dad. I wasn't scared of dying though. I didn't want to die, I'd barely even lived, but it was a reality I had long since accepted. But she hadn't. 

       "Sleep now, my little prince," my mom gently stroked my hair. I was curled up next to her, my head rested on her lap. 

       "But I'm not sleepy," I said even as I smothered a yawn. 

       "It's late," she pointed out, "plus you have a big day tomorrow." 

       "I do?" I asked trying to keep my droopy eyes open but they suddenly felt so heavy.

      "Yes and you need all the rest you can get." She placed a kiss on my forehead. She slipped out of my bed before tucking me in. I couldn't keep my eyes open another second longer, with another yawn I snuggled into my pillow as I murmured a good night to my mother.

      "Good night, my little prince," she softly shut the door behind her. 

       I woke up barely an hour later. It was the new medication my doctor had prescribed. It made it hard for me to sleep properly. I slipped out of my bed, my legs were barely able to hold me up. I grasped the bedpost to keep from toppling over. I took a deep breath gathering my strength. It only took a minute before I felt steady enough to walk. 

        I made it all the way downstairs and into the kitchen. The house was dark and quiet, signifying that everyone was already off to bed. Or at least I thought so, apparently not everyone was in bed. I heard a voice coming from the parlor. I tip toed over, finding my mother alone, on the phone. She had her back to me so she didn't see me standing by the entryway.

         "Are you sure it will work?" She asked whoever was on the other end of the line. "Yes we'll be there tomorrow...I'm willing to do anything, just save my son, Evelyn." She hung up. 

         "Who were you talking to?" She jumped a little at the sound of my voice. She whipped around with wide eyes that quickly landed on me. 

          "Marcus," she swallowed audibly taking a step towards me, "what are you doing out of bed?" 

          "I couldn't sleep," I took a step away from her, "who were you talking to?" 

          "Nobody," her hand landed on my shoulder as she guided me out of the parlor and into the kitchen, "why don't I make you a glass of warm milk. It will help you sleep."

           She was intentionally avoiding my question. I had no idea why. She was being so secretive, which was so strange. My mom wasn't the secretive type. At least I didn't think so. But I decided to drop it, even though what I had heard peeked my interest. I was exhausted and a glass of milk sounded pretty good. Maybe I could even convince her to throw in a chocolate chip cookie.

         I nodded my head, "Okay." 

.......................

I laid awake on my bed, it was three am and I couldn't sleep. I had been jerked awake an hour earlier by yet another one of my nightmares. I hadn't been able to fall asleep again. I hated the nightmares but mostly I hated how they affected me. They made me feel so weak and vulnerable. I didn't want to feel so scared, I was tired of it. I'd been afraid my whole life. 

     I sat up on my bed, grabbing my phone off my bedside table. I turned on the screen, smiling to myself seeing my wallpaper, a picture of Adrian and I. I had a goofy grin plastered on my face as Adrian kissed my cheek. We'd been dating for two weeks, at least I think we were. He hadn't technically called me his boyfriend so I wasn't sure. 

      I went straight to his chat. He was probably asleep but it was at least a try. I didn't feel like laying in bed alone all night.

      Marcus : Are u up?

      I sent the message and within a minute there was a reply. 

      Adrian : yeah, can't sleep. 

      Adrian : why u up?

      Marcus : nightmare.

      Adrian : want to talk about it? 

     Marcus : can I come over?

      Adrian : yeah. 

      I was getting really good at sneaking out.  I tip toed down the stairs and into the kitchen where I grabbed the car keys off the rack. Adrian's house was a twenty minute drive from my house. It was a two story suburban house, complete with a white picket fence. I parked in the empty driveway. 

       He lived with his dad but according to him, his dad was barely ever home. He was always away on business, which I understood. My father was the same. He had recently just left three days ago on another trip to New York. He left me in Harrod's care. But where I had Harrod, Adrian was all alone. 

        I asked him once if it bothered him but he said he was used to it. I don't think I could handle that, being alone. Other than the fact that I hated being alone, I was incapable of taking care of myself. I couldn't cook or even do my own laundry. 

        I knocked on the door three times before I heard footsteps walking down the stairs. A smile was spread across his face when he opened the door. His golden mane was a tousled mess, an indication he'd just rolled out of bed, he was in plaid pajama pants and a plain grey t-shirt. 

        "Hi," I said returning his smile. 

        "Hi," he said back before leaning in and kissing me on the lips. He pulled me into the house shutting the door behind me. He pushed me against the closed door and kissed me hard, I wrapped my arms around his neck submitting into the kiss.

       When he pulled away we were both out of breath. He led me to the living room.

        "Want something to eat?"  He asked as I slumped down of the couch.

        "Yeah," I replied. As he left the room to get me a snack, I looked around the room. The walls were decked with a lot of family pictures. Most of them were of Adrian and a blonde woman, I assumed was his mother. There were a couple with his dad. Adrian looked a lot like his father, well except for the blonde hair. His father's hair was dark.  But they had the same forest green eyes, same sharp jaw line, same tanned skin and the same build, though Adrian was a tad bit shorter. 

        I got up, walking around the room looking at the pictures. We didn't have that at home. There weren't a lot of pictures of us as a family. There wasn't that much of a family left. 

      I liked looking at the North's family pictures. Adrian was an adorable kid. He looked so happy in so many of the pictures, especially the ones he was in with his mother. My gaze was drawn to this one picture of Adrian, his dad and this other boy. Adrian looked about fourteen, the boy eighteen or something like that. He looked a lot like Adrian, almost identical but the boy's dark hair set them apart. 

       They looked like brothers. But that was impossible, Adrian had never mentioned a brother. But I had never asked if he had siblings, I just assumed he was an only child like me. 

       "Adrian," I called out, heading for the kitchen. I found him standing before the kitchen counter, putting together a sandwich. 

       "Yeah," he said looking up, shifting his focus from the sandwich to me.

       "Do you have a brother?" I asked cautiously. 

       His eyes widened for a second before he dropped them. He cleared his throat before he returned to making the sandwich, layering the ingredients. He was avoiding my gaze, "do you like mayonnaise?" 

       "Yeah," I folded my arms over my chest, I took a step towards him, "I saw a picture of this boy in the living room. He looks a lot like you. Is he your brother?" 

       "Half brother," he said curtly. 

       "I had no idea," I said, coming up to stand next to him.

       "We're not that close," there was a tick forming in his jaw. I got the feeling that his brother was a touchy subject. I didn't want to pry if he wasn't willing to share. 

        "We don't have to talk about it," I said fiddling with the hem of my shirt. 

        "What was your nightmare about," he changed the subject. 

        "Food first," I snatched the sandwich that he'd just finished making, taking a huge bite out of it, "this is good," I said holding my hand over my mouth as I chewed up the sandwich.

        "Thank you,"  he reached for my face, wiping off the mayonnaise at the corner of my lips with his thumb, before l*****g it. My cheeks heated up, and my chest stirred uncomfortably. 

        "I'm—um, uh going...I'm going to sit down," I stammered embarrassingly, I hated how easily flustered I got around him. But he found it hilarious, he chuckled as I made my escape into the living room. He followed me out.

         We settled on the couch as I took another bite of the sandwich, "aren't you gonna eat?" 

          "Not hungry," he said, simply and I took another bite of my sandwich. He just watched me, not scrutinizing or reading me, just watched. My cheeks tinted again. 

          "What?" I asked, wiping around my mouth afraid I'd made a mess of myself again. 

           "Nothing, you're just so beautiful," I nearly choked on my food. I gawked at him and he chuckled in amusement at my reaction.

          "Not fair," I protested with a huff, "you can't just say stuff like that."

          "Why not?" he arched a brow before a smug grin teased his lips, "I think I can call my boyfriend beautiful if I want to, don't you?" I gawked at him for a least a minute before blinking twice. 

         "Boyfriend?" It was the first time he'd called me that, I liked the sound of it. I loved the fluttering of butterflies that erupted inside of me at hearing it. 

         "Yeah, boyfriend," he said and a smile crossed my lips. He leaned forward, gently pressing his lips against mine. I liked this, kissing him. He kissed me slowly, cautiously, at first. My lips moved with his as he laid me on the couch before he detached our lips. 

          He hovered over me for a second before he reconnected our lips. I wrapped my arms tighter around him, pulling him into my body. My hand slipped along his jaw then into his hair, as I completely melted under him. 

         His hand dropped to the hem of my shirt, before it slipped under it. His touch sent me over the edge, it sent my skin ablaze. If I burned in his hold I'd have been okay with that. I loved the burn. 

           "I love you so much," he breathed out as he nuzzled my neck. 

           I pulled his face back down to face mine, a smile brighter than I'd ever known adorned my face. I was happy, completely and utterly happy, I hadn't felt like this in a while. I liked how Adrian made me feel. "I love you too," I said before pressing my lips against to his, in another heated kiss.

.......................

Two hours and two episodes of Riverdale later we laid on his bed together. Adrian's arm was draped over my waist and I was snuggled into his firm warm body. I closed my eyes snuggling further into his embrace basking in the comfort of it all. It didn't take long before I began to doze off. I'd never felt more comfortable or safer than I did in his hold. However the blissful moment didn't last long, I was up an hour later screaming from yet another nightmare. 

        "Mark, it's okay. I'm right here, it was just a bed dream," Adrian said clinging to me, acting as my anchor. I was floating in panic, my heart racing, beads of sweat forming on my forehead. He was coming, I could hear his heavy footsteps and the creaking of floorboards. He was going to hurt me, he always hurt me, but then I heard Adrian's soothing words and everything dissipated. I wasn't locked up in the dark room with the beast, I was with Adrian. I was safe. My breathing was heavy but I tried to slow it down listening to his voice. 

        "Are you okay?" He asked cautiously. I nodded as I buried my face into his shoulder. 

         "I'm sorry," I said looking up at him, with moist eyes. 

         "There's nothing to apologize for," he kissed the top of my head, tightening his embrace. I felt myself relaxing in his hold, the remnants of the nightmare slowly fading, I was regaining my composure. 

          "Do you feel like talking about it?" He asked after a little while. I shook my head timidly. 

        "Can we just stay like this for a little bit?" I asked and he nodded in compliance. 

        "Sure," he said and I snuggled further into his embrace.

        We stayed like that for a while, before something dawned on me. I'd been here for hours. It probably morning now. 

       Oh no. 

       "What time is it?" I asked as I slipped out of his hold. 

       He turned to the clock that was on his side of the bed. "Almost five thirty, why?" his brows were furrowed in confusion.

       "I need to get home," I scrambled out of his bed, grabbing my shoes off the floor. 

        "Do you want me to give you a ride?"

        "No, it's okay. I'm fine now," I kissed him on the lips, "thanks for caring."

        "I'll see you at school then."

        "Yeah," I said before I moved out of his room. I ran down the stairs stopping in front of the front door to put on my shoes. I grabbed my coat off the coat rack, pulling it on. 

        I made it home in a niche of time, Harrod was always up early in the morning. If he found out I'd snuck out he'd tell my father and I'd be in more trouble than I already was. I was technically still grounded for sneaking out on Halloween.