7 Years Later

Part 7 - High School

Matteo and I were going to get coffee on Saturday night at Starbucks.

He actually texted me- asking if I wanted to do so. He said that he could use some help with his paper.

I wasn't sure if I believed that.

Or, I wasn't sure if I wanted to believe that.

I was trying to see if I could leave my house on Saturday night, at 7 PM, unnoticed.

I had put on some makeup. Straightened my hair so that it laid long, straight, and shiny. And I put on jeans, boots, and a black sweater that showed just enough cleavage.

I grabbed my car keys off my desk, and walked downstairs.

My mom had mentioned she had a date tonight- and I was hoping she had left.

She hadn't. She was in the kitchen, also in a cute outfit. Her blonde shoulder length hair was down and curled, and she had on a good amount of makeup.

I've been told that I look a lot like my mom. We both have big hazel eyes and blonde hair, and I've been told we have the same smile and dimples. My mom had me when she was 20 years old, so she is only 38. And she is single.

She looked at me when I walked into the kitchen to tell her I was leaving and said, "Where are you headed looking all cute?"

"Come on, I don't look that good. I'm hanging out with a friend from my creative writing class. We are working on a project together." I said casually.

"Is this friend a male or female?" my mom asked me.

"Male." I said.

"I see. And what is his name?"

"Matteo Edmonds."

"Is this Matteo Edmonds the reason why you were dressed cute the other day?"

"No." I lied, "Can't I just dress cute for myself?"

"Of course you can." my mom said, "Just don't be home past 1 AM. And be careful."

I knew what she meant by "be careful".

Don't get pregnant.

"I will be." I said, "He's just a friend. Have fun on your date tonight. Second date with Steven, right?"

My mom nodded, "Yes. We're trying out a new Japanese restaurant. I'm looking forward to it."

"You be careful too." I said.

"Ha ha." my mom chuckled, "Very funny."

I'm able to joke with my mom in that way. She is my mom, yes. But she is also like a friend to me as well. I've always thought it was because she had me when she was young. She was married to my dad when she was 18, had my brother and I, and was divorced by 26.

She's had some boyfriends since then, but nothing super long term. She is an accountant, and has focused mostly on her career and providing for Garrett and I.

I got in my car, which was my mom's old car, a 2006 Saturn Ion, and drove over to Starbucks. Matteo texted me that he was on his way as well.

My heart was pounding and my hands were sweaty.

Just treat it like you're talking to him in class.

When I parked at Starbucks in the back lot, I immediately saw Matteo getting out of his car. He drove a black Jeep.

He wore a black jacket, and jeans. I couldn't tell by his expression if he was as nervous as I was.

I got out of my car, shut the door, and called out, "Matteo!"

He immediately looked at me, and walked over to where I was standing.

"Hey, Cassidy." he said, looking down at me, "Let's go inside."

We didn't say anything as we walked through the back entrance, and then got in line.

"What do you think you'll get?" I asked him.

"Coffee." Matteo said, "Is there anything else here?"

"Matteo. Have you ever been to Starbucks?" I asked him.

"No." he said, "And I have no idea what any of those drinks are on the menu. So I'll stick to coffee."

I couldn't help but chuckle, "Why am I not surprised?"

When Matteo and I walked up to the register, the barista said, "Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get for you tonight?"

Matteo looked at me, motioning for me to go first.

"Hi, I'll have a tall caramel macchiato with almond milk." I said.

"Hot or iced?"

"Iced, please."

"And for you?" the barista asked Matteo.

"Medium hot coffee. Two sugars, please."

"Grande hot coffee, two sugars." the barista said, writing on the cup, "And your names?"

"Cassidy." I said.

"Matteo."

"Alright, that'll be $7.64."

I reached into my bag to take out my wallet- but Matteo said to me, "I've got it."

He then handed his card to the barista. And put a dollar in the tip jar.

"Thank you." I said to him.

"Your drinks will be down at the bar in a few." the barista said.

Matteo and I stood, waiting for our drinks.

"You didn't have to pay for me." I said, "That was nice of you."

"Not a problem." Matteo said.

I looked up at him, and I caught him looking at me as well.

We grabbed our drinks, and then we sat at a table toward the back of the shop.

Matteo looked at the label on his drink.

"They do realize that grande means large, right? Not medium?" he said.

I laughed, "Take that up with the higher ups at Starbucks."

"It just doesn't make sense." Matteo said, "Neither does you getting an iced coffee. What is it, 30 degrees out?"

He said it in a joking tone, so I knew he wasn't being judgmental.

"I could be in the middle of a blizzard and I'd still want my coffee iced." I said, and he smiled at me.

Matteo opened his notebook that he had brought with him.

"So." he said, "I'm having trouble thinking of things that make me happy that aren't so...finite."

"What do you have so far?" I asked him.

He shrugged, "The beach. Cars. Computers."

"Okay." I said, "What is it about those things that make you happy?"

"I just...like them?" Matteo looked at me, unsure, "What did you put down?"

"Driving to get coffee on Saturday mornings, knowing I don't have a care in the world for the rest of the day. When I see the pink cherry blossoms bloom in the spring, and then it looks like a pink wonderland when they fall. When I smell chocolate chip cookies baking in my house, because that's the only think my mom doesn't f**k up cooking or baking. Laughing with my best friend, Danisha, about something stupid that we just understand. That feeling when I understand something in class, and it just clicks." I said, "To name some."

Matteo stared at me, "So you're more focusing on the feeling as to why it makes you happy than the actual thing that makes you happy?"

"Exactly." I said.

Okay." Matteo nodded, "The beach makes me feel relaxed."

"Why is that?"

"I love taking walks on the beach. Feeling the breeze and having the water splash on my feet. It's...peaceful."

I smiled at Matteo, "There you go. And what about computers?"

"I enjoy it when I figure out how to do something on the computer or fix something that I didn't know how to. It's rewarding to figure it out, and know I didn't have to ask for help." Matteo said.

"You're getting it. And cars?"

"I would say it's more the feeling that driving a car gives me. Freedom. Independence. I love driving with my windows down when it's warm out."

"I can try to help you think of more." I said, "But that's a great start."

"You're smart." Matteo said to me, "And creative."

I looked at Matteo, "Really? I don't think I've been described as 'smart' before."

Matteo furrowed his brow, "Really?"

"Oh yeah. I've always struggled in school. Badly. Creative writing is the one thing I don't struggle with."

"Is that why you put down when you understand something in class that makes you happy?"

"Yes." I nodded, "I often feel panicked in class. I feel like I am five steps behind everyone else. When something actually clicks, I feel relief. Until the next subject, when it doesn't click."

Matteo looked at me, "I'm sorry you feel that way, Cassidy. If there is anything I can ever do to help, let me know?"

"Thanks." I said to Matteo, "I appreciate it."

Matteo and I worked further on the assignment. I wound up telling him about my brother, and he told me about his older sister, Sabrina, who is 5 years older than him, and works as a hairstylist and lives in Philadelphia. Some of his fond memories are with her, when he goes to visit her in the city. He said it makes him feel like an actual adult, not a high school student.

The conversation between Matteo and I flowed so naturally.

I really enjoy talking to him.

We were still talking by the time Starbucks closed at 9.

I felt disappointed. I didn't want the night to end.

We walked out into the cold January air, and I said to Matteo, "I wish Starbucks didn't close so early."

"Do you...want to hangout more?" he asked me.

"Do you?"

"Sure." he said, "Would you want to go for a drive? I can play some music."

"Definitely." I said, "If that's okay with you?"

"I wouldn't offer if it wasn't. Starbucks closes too early, anyway."

Matteo and I walked to his car.

"I like your Jeep." I said.

"It was my dad's car." Matteo said, "I like it too."

Matteo opened the passenger side door for me, and I got in his car. He then closed my door, walked to the drivers side, and got in as well.

He turned on his car, and said, "You can put on a song if you want. Or I can just put on my playlist. I made one after our first assignment. It has mostly alternative and rock music."

"Play that." I said, "I want to hear what you've got."

He turned on his playlist, and the first song that came on was "Sweater Weather" by The Neighbourhood.

"I like this one!" I said, as Matteo looked over his shoulder and pulled out of the parking spot.

I looked at his side profile, and couldn't help but notice his strong jawline. His features. And once again- his eyes.

Matteo started driving, and he said, "I'm not sure where exactly I'm taking us. But I won't get lost."

"Where do you live?" I asked him.

"About 10 minutes away. I live in a townhome, it's my mom and I. But the neighborhood across from me has some huge homes. I can show you them."

"Sure." I said.

After "Sweater Weather", the song "All The Small Things" by Blink-182 came on, and then "Everlong" by the Foo Fighters.

"I like this playlist." I said to him.

"Thanks. Everlong is another song that reminds me of my dad." Matteo said.

I wasn't sure if I should ask Matteo what his dad was like. I was curious though.

"He seemed to have a good taste in music." I said to Matteo.

"He did. Um, what about your family? I know you have your brother, what about your parents? If you don't mind me asking."

"My mom is like my best friend." I said, "She is an accountant, she works a lot. She had me when she was young, so she relates to me a lot. As for my dad...I don't see him much at all. I think the last time I saw him was 2 years ago. Him and my mom got divorced when I was 7. He lives in California. He's been married two other times, and is a bit of a rolling stone."

"I'm sorry if that's been hard on you." Matteo said, one hand on the steering wheel.

"Honestly...it's kind of all I know."

Matteo drove me past his home, and we admired lots of the large homes across from his neighborhood.

As we kept driving, he asked me, "Is there a certain time you have to be home? I'll take you back to your car."

"1 AM." I said, but you can drive us back to the Starbucks parking lot."

Matteo nodded, and started driving back.

I really don't want this night to end.

He pulled up next to my car, and as he did, the song "Yellow" started playing.

"Hey, you added this to your playlist." I said to him, with a smile.

"I like the song." he said, "I figured I would add it."

He then looked at me, a certain warmth in his eyes.

He then said, "I've had a really nice time with you, Cassidy."

"Same here." I said, "I really have."

"I was so surprised when you asked me to hangout." he said.

"Why?" I looked at him.

"You're outgoing. People know you. I just never thought you would...want to hangout with someone like me." Matteo said, "I'm more quiet. I don't talk to many people."

"That doesn't matter to me." I said, "I like you. Why wouldn't I want to hangout with you?"

Wait. I hope he doesn't think I mean that I like him like I have a crush on him.

Even though I do.

"I like you too." Matteo said to me.

I looked at him, "I meant in a friend way...if you meant in a friend way too. I don't want to make you think that I like you in that way if you just want us to be friends."

Fucking hell.

He looked at me and I continued, "Unless you like me as more than a friend. Because in that case I do too. I...Matteo. Please say something here. I'm drowning."

Matteo smiled at me. "You're really cute, you know that?"

I felt my heart pound.

"Thanks." I said, feeling myself blush.

Matteo then lightly placed his hand on my knee and looked at me.

"Is that okay?" he asked.

"Yes." I said.

I want to kiss him. I need to kiss him.

"I...really want to kiss you." I said to him, feeling like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.

Matteo then started to lean in. He placed his hand that was not on my knee lightly on my chin, and he gave me one more look as his lips met mine.

Oh. My. God.

If I ever felt butterflies in my stomach, it was in this moment.

I've never felt anything like this before in my life.