7 Years Later

Part 8 - Present Day

The situation with Matteo was driving me crazy.

He was always in the back of my mind. Honestly, every single day he was. But he was not brought to the forefront, and I could not get him off my mind.

I couldn't even exactly pinpoint why.

He had a girlfriend. It wasn't like I was going to get up and ruin that.

By the end of the week, I was f*****g exhausted. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally.

On Friday morning, Allison came up to me at the desk before the first patient. She had on lavender scrubs, and her hair was in a braid.

"Hey, Cassidy!" she chirped, "Do you know the bar in town called 'The Vault'?"

"I do." I said, "My best friend worked there all throughout the time she was in nursing school."

"I'm going to be bartending there on Saturday nights! Visit me if you'd like." Allison smiled.

"You're going to bartend as well?" I said, "You've got some energy!"

"For the extra money." Allison said, "If I'm being honest, I'm not making as much money here as I was at the hospital. I need to pull in some extra income. I figured it could be a good way to meet more people too. If you're around tomorrow, you should come visit me! I'll make you a great drink."

"I can ask one of my friends if they'll go with me." I said, "That sounds fun."

"Good! Matteo should be coming tomorrow too on my first night to support me." Allison said.

To support her. Like the good boyfriend I'm sure he is to her.

I immediately texted Danisha when Allison walked away and said: We're going to The Vault tomorrow night.

I was having a bit of a dilemma Saturday night, because I wanted to look cute, but I also didn't want to look like I was trying to catch Matteo's attention too much

Danisha was at my apartment with me, helping me look through my closet.

She was already dressed, in a pair of dark wash jeans and a black bodysuit with a plunging neckline.

Her jet black hair was down and curled at the ends. Her deep brown skin was clear and smooth as always, and she had on a mauve lipstick that looked beautiful on her.

"What the f**k do I wear?" I said, staring at my closet, hands on my hips, "I want to look good. But I also don't want Matteo to think I am trying to get his attention."

"Cassidy. f**k what he thinks." Danisha said, standing next to me.

I looked at her, alarmed, "What?"

"Dress for you. You deserve a night to look damn good. If he thinks it's for him, so be it." Danisha said, "Wear something you feel sexy in."

"Okay." I said, "I will. I needed that."

It was the beginning of May, so it was warm out. I settled on a black dress. It was a casual dress, and it had buttons down the front. It was short, and had short sleeves, and was tighter around my bust.

I already wear a C cup bra. But I decided to wear a push up tonight.

Danisha helped me curl my light blonde hair, and I put some extra effort into my makeup.

When Matteo saw me, I was in scrubs, my hair pulled back, not much makeup on.

"I keep thinking that I want him to notice me. Am I terrible? He has a girlfriend." I said to Danisha, putting on some nude lip gloss.

"No. It's natural. I know you wouldn't act on anything." Danisha said, "Now let's go."

I drove Danisha and I to The Vault, which was a barestaurant in town. I live in a pretty small town in Pennsylvania outside of Philadelphia, and The Vault was on the Main Street in the burrough.

It was 9 PM by the time Danisha and I pulled up.

"Seb said he might stop by as well." Danisha said.

Sebastian, who goes by Seb, is Danisha's fiancé. She met him in college, when she was 19, and they have been together since, and they live together.

When we walked in, the bar was packed. The whole downstairs of the bar is dedicated to the drinks, and filled with high tops, and the upstairs is the restaurant portion.

There were 4 bartenders behind the bar- and I immediately spotted Allison.

"Which one is Allison?" Danisha asked me.

"The short one with the brown hair in the black tank top." I said.

Allison definitely was showing more skin tonight than at work. She had on a black tank top and jean shorts, showing off her small arms.

Danisha and I walked up to the bar, and Allison gave me a huge smile.

"You came!" she said, "Thank you, Cassidy! You look beautiful!"

"Of course." I said, "And thank you, Allison. This is Danisha, my best friend."

"Nice to meet you." Danisha said to Allison, with a smile.

"Likewise! Do you know Matteo as well?"

"I do." Danisha said, "We had some classes together."

"He should be here soon." Allison said, "I told him to bring a friend, so we will see if he does."

Danisha and I each ordered a drink. The Vault makes their own craft beers. I'm not a huge fan of beer. But I got one just for the hell of it.

I took one sip of it and Danisha laughed.

"You're not a fan of it, are you?"

"Not at all." I said, putting it down against the high top we were standing by.

I found myself constantly glancing toward the door to see if Matteo was going to walk in. And about 20 minutes later- he did. He wore a gray t-shirt and jeans. I was immediately drawn to him, and I saw him looking around the bar. Next to him was a guy that looked our age with brown skin, black hair, and a beard.

Matteo and his friend walked up to the bar, and immediately Allison rushed over to them.

I couldn't help but notice that Matteo looked distracted. I know him. I could tell.

A few minutes later, Allison slid Matteo and his friend their drinks. She then pointed to where Danisha and I were standing.

Matteo then turned and looked at me.

He looked like he was taking in every last bit of me.

Matteo and his friend then walked over to us.

Matteo still had his eyes on me as him and his friend made their way over to us. Matteo was 5'11, and his friend was about an inch shorter.

"Hello, Matteo!" Danisha said, "Nice to see you. It's been a while."

"It has been, Danisha." Matteo said, "Good to see you. And you, Cassidy."

He then looked at me again. And I felt my stomach fill with butterflies.

He then glanced at his friend and said, "This is Raj. Raj, meet Cassidy and Danisha. I went to high school with them, and Cassidy works with Allison."

Went to high school with them.

Alright, Matteo.

"It's very nice to meet you both!" Raj said, "I work with Matteo. What do you both do for work?"

"I'm a nurse." Danisha said, "In school to become a nurse practitioner."

Raj looked at me, "And you?"

"I'm a receptionist." I said quickly, "Still figuring things out."

I saw Matteo glance at me.

"Nothing wrong with that." Raj said to me, with a smile, "We're still young."

I smiled back, welcoming his non-judgmental tone.

As the night went on, Seb joined us after he got off work. Seb works as a UPS delivery driver, and he has odd hours.

I could tell Matteo was comfortable talking to everyone- but me.

Raj, however, seemed to take a liking to me. He talked up a storm to me. And I will admit, he made me laugh quite a bit. He was a joker, even though I could tell he was also very intelligent.

I kept seeing Matteo glance at Raj and I every time he would make me laugh.

Raj was in the middle of telling us a story about his parents and how they lost their mind when he told them he was not a vegetarian, when Matteo's phone vibrated on the table.

He picked up and I couldn't hear him well over the loud voices in the bar.

Immediately I saw his brow furrow and I heard him say, "Are you okay?"

I then heard him say, "No. I'm coming home. I'll be there soon."

He hung up the phone and he immediately looked concerned.

"Everything okay, man?" Raj asked.

"My mom tried to cook, which she can't do. She burned her hand pretty badly, I need to go check on her." Matteo said.

I felt my heart sink.

"I can come with you and check out her hand." Danisha said to Matteo, "I'm a nurse."

Matteo looked at Danisha for a moment and said, "Are you sure? It could save a trip to the hospital."

"Absolutely." Danisha said, "Cassidy, you don't mind driving me?"

"Of course not." I said.

"You can follow me back to my house." Matteo said, and then he turned to Raj, "Do you mind telling Allison my mom had a medical situation? She'll understand."

"Of course." Raj said to Matteo. He then turned to me and said, "If I don't see you again tonight, it was nice to meet you, Cassidy."

"It was nice to meet you too, Raj." I said.

I saw Matteo glance between us.

"Let's head out." Danisha said.

As I drove Danisha to Matteo's, I said to her, "I don't even need to follow him. I remember where he lives."

When we pulled up to Matteo's, immediately started to get flashbacks of him sneaking me into his house.

"You okay?" Danisha asked me.

"Yeah." I said, "Let's go."

When we got out of the car, Matteo was standing by the door.

"Danisha, just to warn you, she might be very leery of you." Matteo said, "Her condition makes her very paranoid."

"That's okay." Danisha said, "I can handle it."

"Do you want me to stay out here?" I asked Matteo, "I don't want to make things more confusing."

Matteo looked at me and nodded, "If you don't mind?"

"Not at all." I said.

I stood by the door as Matteo and Danisha walked into the house.

Matteo's mom, Breanne, was always very kind to me the moments that I did speak to her. She worked as a librarian, and she was very sweet and intelligent- like Matteo.

Knowing that she was now sick made me feel terrible.

I stood outside for longer than expected.

Eventually, Danisha and Matteo came walking outside.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"It is now." Danisha said, "She was not happy with me looking at her hand, but I talked her down. Her hand is okay. Burnt, but doesn't need emergency attention."

Matteo looked exhausted, "I was able to get her sleep medicine. She should be okay."'

I noticed that Danisha's arm was bleeding.

"What happened?" I asked her.

"Breanne scratched me. It's okay. She was scared, that's often a reaction with Alzheimer's patients. I'm alright." Danisha said.

"Let me grab you a bandaid." Matteo said, "I'll be right back."

Matteo went back into the house, and Danisha looked at me.

"That was not good." she said to me, "It was handled. But Matteo has a lot on his plate."

Matteo came out a moment later and handed Danisha a band aid.

Danisha put it on quickly, and she said to me, "I'm good."

"I'm so sorry, Danisha." Matteo said.

"Matteo, it's fine. Don't worry about it." Danisha said.

I was about to ask Danisha if she wanted to go, however I looked over at Matteo- and I could see the defeat on his face.

He looked down, hands in his pockets.

"Matteo?" I started to ask, not knowing how I was going to finish the sentence.

"Can you stay back with me for a bit, Cassidy?" he asked, looking at me.

Danisha looked at me and nodded, "I'll take your car back to the bar. Matteo, you're fine taking Cassidy back with you?"

"Yep." Matteo nodded, "Thanks again, Danisha."

"Anytime." Danisha said, "See you both soon."

I handed Danisha my keys, and she walked over to my car, got in, and started driving off.

Matteo sat down on the front step by his door.

I sat down next to him, and our knees were almost touching.

"Matteo...I'm sorry." I said.

Matteo looked up to the sky for a moment and sighed, "I'm not going to sugarcoat anything. This f*****g sucks."

"When did it all start to happen?" I asked him.

It felt so natural- sitting with him here on the front step of his house.

"About 6 months ago. I was living up in Phoenixville, and I noticed that my mom started forgetting things. Simple things, but my mom was always a stickler for organization and having everything on her. I thought it was weird that she was forgetting her keys and phone when she went places. Then she started forgetting to go to work." Matteo said to me.

"Oh no." I said.

"She told me that she knew there was something wrong with her. And that she was scared. We thought maybe it was a brain tumor. But when we found it was early onset Alzheimer's, that was almost worse. If she had a tumor, there could've been a cure. She has been getting progressively worse at a fast rate. It's terrifying. She still remembers who I am, most of the time. But she's super paranoid. She can't drive, or even really function well anymore. But she tries to fight it. Like just now, she was trying to cook pasta." Matteo let out a heavy high, "She has a nurse come each day, but I knew I needed to come home. She's progressing faster than I imagined. And it's only a matter of time before it just gets even worse."

Matteo closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them, I could see they were watery.

"Matteo. I am so, so sorry." I said, "I almost can't even express how sorry I am."

"I know." Matteo said, "I know you are, Cassidy."

"This must be so tough on you." I said.

"It's...not easy." Matteo said.

"I'm here if you need anything. I mean that." I said.

Matteo looked at me and said, "Don't tell me that, Cassidy. Please."

I was taken aback for a moment.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because I would be tempted to take you up on it. And I just can't." Matteo said.

And I felt like I had been slapped in the face.

"Got it." I said, and looked ahead, away from Matteo.

"This isn't easy for me. Having you appear in my life again." Matteo said.

I turned to look at him, "And you think it's easy for me, Matteo? Especially with you dating someone?"

Matteo looked back at me and didn't say anything.

"Glad to know also that your girlfriend just thinks I was a friend of yours." I said.

I felt bad for turning the situation about Matteo's mom into this. But my emotions were getting the best of me.

"It's not exactly easy to tell my girlfriend who you actually are." Matteo said, "She knows I dated someone back in high school, but she only asked me about it once."

"Matteo, we meant more than that to each other and you know it." I said.

Matteo looked at me and said, "We should go back."

He then stood up. I sat there for a moment, feeling pure frustration. When I feel any kind of anger, I feel like I could cry.

I hate that about myself, but it happens.

"Cassidy?" Matteo said.

"Matteo, just give me a second. Please."

"Okay." Matteo said, "I understand."

A moment later, I stood up and followed Matteo to his car. He opened the passenger side door for me.

"Thank you." I said.

We were silent for a moment when he started driving.

I never thought I would be back in his car.

Matteo then spoke, "I'm sorry I haven't told Allison who exactly you are. And what we went through. I will."

"Maybe you shouldn't. I work with her."

"I want to be honest with her." Matteo said.

"Your call." I said back, looking out the window.

I could tell it was bothering Matteo that I wasn't making eye contact with him.

He didn't say anything until we pulled up and he parked.

"Cassidy. You're the one that crushed me when you ended things." Matteo said.

I looked back at Matteo, tears going back to my eyes, "So what? That means that I can't be upset about this? You think that means that I haven't thought about you every f*****g day since I last saw you? I-"

I then realized I needed to get a hold of myself. Matteo was staring at me.

"Let's go in." I said.

Matteo swallowed nervously and said, "Good idea."

When we walked back in, I put on a smile.

"Hey, I'm glad you're back!" Raj said to me, "You too, Matteo."

I started talking to Raj again- and Matteo and I didn't say a word to each other.

Not even when Allison ran over to us, and he leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

It crushed me.

But I had to act like it didn't.