7 Years Later

Part 10 - Present Day

When I woke up on Sunday, I had a friend request- from Raj Khar.

Matteo's co-worker.

Matteo must've told him my last name.

I hit accept, and then looked at the time.

10 AM.

I usually don't like sleeping that late, but I was exhausted.

I didn't want to be alone either.

I found myself calling my mom.

"Can I come over?" I asked.

"Of course. I'll make brunch. Is everything alright?" she asked me.

"Kind of. I'll explain when I get there. Don't worry, I'm fine. Just kind of emotionally a wreck."

"I'll make French toast." my mom said.

French toast is my favorite breakfast food.

When I got to my mom's house, she was the only one home.

"Where are Garrett and Steven?" I asked.

My mom got married to my step father, Steven, when I was 21. I actually really like Steven, his personality is great for my mom. He is outgoing like her, and a kid at heart. He also gave me my 19 year old step sister, Julianna. She goes to college in Florida, but we get along well.

Garrett, who is 24, is a business analyst. He lives at home still, but is often with his girlfriend, Stephanie.

"Steven is getting breakfast with his brother." my mom said, "Garrett is with Steph. I made French toast with peaches and brown sugar. Come into the kitchen and tell me what's going on."

I followed my mom into the kitchen, and her dog, Snowball, a Pomeranian, followed us.

I never had pets growing up, but Steven always had dogs, so my mom and him got a dog, and she loves that dog more than anything.

I sat down at the counter, and my mom put a plate in front of me, and a cup of coffee.

"There's oat milk and sugar in there." she said, standing across from me at the counter, "Now spill. What's going on?"

"Matteo moved back." I said.

My mom's jaw dropped, "What? And you're just telling me? When did this happen?"

"A couple of weeks ago."

"I've spoken to you multiple times! Why are you just telling me this?"

"It's been really tough." I said.

My moms expression softened, "I'm sure."

I then told her everything. How I saw him at the store. How I work with his girlfriend, who doesn't even know who I really am. About last night with his mom and our talk.

"Oh my god, Cass. This is insane." my mom said, "But most of all, I can see how much you're struggling with this. I know how much you loved Matteo."

"I am struggling." I said, "It's literally all I can think about, mom."

"Given your past with Matteo, I completely understand." my mom said, and she walked around the counter and put her arms around me, "It's going to be okay. What's meant to be will happen. I just know in the meantime it f*****g sucks."

"It does." I said, "Immensely."

"You're not going to stay in this spot forever." my mom said, "Something will happen. What that is, who knows. But this is temporary."

"Thank you." I said, "That does actually help."

"That's so terrible though, about his mom. Poor guy. He hasn't had it easy." my mom said.

"I know." I said, "I feel absolutely terrible."

"You said his mom was nice, right?"

"She was. She was even nice the first time I met her, when Matteo had snuck me into his room at 1 AM." I said.

My mom laughed, "I remember that. You were so embarrassed. God, you and him really managed to sneak around a lot."

"We did." I said, "But we know how that turned out."

"It's all in the past." my mom said, "Let's focus on the future."

I knew that Monday was going to suck, because Virginia texted me that she was sick, and she had to stay home.

That meant it was going to be Wendy up at the front with me.

I don't mind Wendy, she can just be a bit intense. I get it, she's the office manager, and she takes it seriously. But I can't just talk and be myself around her.

In the Monday meeting, Wendy said, "As you can see, Virginia is out sick, she unfortunately has a bad cold. Allison volunteered to take her place at the reception desk with Cassidy. Thank you, Allison."

Allison smiled at me.

I felt my stomach flip-flop.

When I sat down at the desk, Allison sat down next to me, with a large pink water bottle next to her.

"I know I'm not Virginia." Allison said, "But I think we will have fun today."

"Agreed." I said, giving Allison a smile.

"Thank you for coming on Saturday, it meant a lot." Allison said, "And it was so nice of you and Danisha to help out Matteo with his mom."

"I didn't really do much." I said, "Danisha is the nurse. But of course."

"Matteo felt terrible that Danisha got scratched by his mom, but he said she was super understanding. He told me though that you helped calm him down after everything though. Thank you, Cassidy. That was so nice of you." Allison said to me.

I was trying to see if there was any bit of jealousy in Allison's tone- but there wasn't.

"Absolutely." I said, "I could tell he was upset."

"He tries to hide it. He doesn't talk about it a ton, honestly." Allison said, "But I know it really affects him."

As the day went on with Allison, I started to feel bad.

Matteo needs to tell her about us. Allison is too f*****g nice for this.

Toward the end of the day, Allison asked me, "What was Matteo like in high school?"

It caught me off guard. "Oh." I said, "He was pretty quiet. Really smart, honestly. He was always nice."

There is so much more I can say about him. I could write a whole f*****g book.

"That sounds like him now." Allison said, "It really sounds like he hasn't changed."

When I got home, I felt tempted to text Matteo. I still had his number, of course. I hadn't texted it in 5 years.

No. You can't do that.

I then searched Allison on f*******:. She came up right when I typed in "Allison Levine."

Her profile picture was of her, in the pretty dress that she wore the first time I met her. She was sitting at a bar, drink in hand.

I noticed that she didn't have any pictures of her and Matteo- except for one.

She posted on their one year anniversary. Which was 2 months ago.

The picture was a selfie of her and Matteo. She had on scrubs, and Matteo had a green t-shirt on. Bringing out his beautiful green eyes. I checked to see if he was tagged in the photo, I was not surprised he wasn't.

The caption was, "One year of loving you. To many more, Matteo. You make me a really happy woman."

I stared at the photo, and once again, I felt tears spring to my eyes.

God. I am such an emotional f*****g wreck.

I always had this hope, that one day maybe Matteo and I would work out. I hate to admit that, but I always did.

This crushed that. Completely.

It was only 7 PM, and I needed to get the f**k out of my apartment. I could not stay holed up in my bedroom.

I decided to go to Starbucks, and bring my laptop with me so I could do some research, and think more about what I wanted to actually do with my life.

I went to community college for a year. I did general studies, still having no idea what I wanted to do.

After a year of that, I told my mom I wanted to go to esthetician school.

Which I did. And I got my certifications.

I worked at a spa for about a year doing esthetics. And I really tried to like it- but I just didn't. At all. Which was an extreme disappointment to accept.

I had enough a little over a year ago, and my mom suggested that I get a job I can do pretty mindlessly while I figure things out.

And I've been at the Dermatology office since, making $19 an hour. And I feel like a failure most of the time.

I've been considering different avenues. Possibly getting a bachelors degree online. Or another kind of certification.

I've been considering medical coding and billing. It's a certification I could get in less than a year, and I could make pretty good money.

I got my iced chai with oat milk, and started looking at programs online. It felt good to get out of the apartment.

My mind kept drifting to Matteo, but I was able to pull it back to focus on my laptop.

You need to figure this out, Cassidy. For you.

Focus on you.

It's time to.