7 Years Later

Part 12 - Present Day

Allison invited us to come to her bartending shift again that Saturday.

"Bring Danisha too." she said to me, "She was really nice."

When I asked Danisha if she would go with me, she told me she was in.

On Friday afternoon, when it wasn't busy in the office, I searched up some medical billing and coding programs on the computer.

"Considering coding?"

I heard Allison's voice behind me.

"f**k, you scared me." I said, and turned to face Allison, "I am."

"That's a great job." Allison said, "And if you want to work from home, there are a lot of remote jobs for it."

"I'm really considering it." I said to Allison, "I have to figure out what to do with my life. I'm 25. I should know."

"It's okay if you don't know." Allison said, "I know I'm a nurse. But I still don't know if that's what I want to do with my life."

"Really?" I asked Allison.

"Definitely. My parents basically made me go to nursing school. Do you have a degree?"

"I have my certification in esthetics." I said, "But I didn't really like doing that."

"If you completed that program, you can certainly do a medical coding program."

"You think so?"

"I know so." Allison grinned at me, "Don't feel bad about not knowing what you want to do. You seem like a smart girl, Cassidy. Matteo said so as well."

"Oh, he did?" I asked, my heart rate picking up.

"He did! He also said you're a wonderful writer."

Allison smiled at me, and once again, I felt a pang of guilt.

She needs to know.

On Saturday night, it was hot outside. I wore a black cropped t-shirt and high waisted frayed jean shorts.

"You look hot." Danisha said to me. This time she picked me up in her car, "Is Matteo going to be there?"

"Allison said he would be coming." I said.

"Are you okay with that?" Danisha asked me.

"I have no choice but to be." I said.

When we got to the bar, once again it was packed.

"This is how I know I love you." Danisha said to me, "I promised myself after I quit working here, I would never set foot in this place again."

Allison was in her groove when we walked up to the bar.

"Cassidy, Danisha, I'm so happy to see you both!" Allison said, "What can I get you?"

"I'll have the Hops and Clouds beer." Danisha said.

"Could I just have a vodka cranberry, please?" I asked.

"Of course! Coming right up." Allison said to us.

A few minutes later, she slid our drinks to us.

"Is your man coming tonight?" Danisha asked Allison.

"He is. I think he's bringing Raj again too." Allison said

Danisha chuckled, "Raj seemed to take a liking to you, Cassidy."

Allison's blue eyes widened, "He's a really nice guy! You should talk to him, if you want."

"He is really nice, but I'm not really looking for anything at the moment." I said, "It'll be good to see him though."

About 10 minutes later- Raj and Matteo walked in. Danisha and I were standing by a high top, our drinks in front of us. Raj immediately spotted us out, nodded to Matteo, and they walked over to us.

I noticed that Matteo was wearing glasses. He started wearing contacts after high school, but tonight he had on glasses.

It reminds me of when I first met and dated him.

"Hey, ladies!" Raj greeted us. He gave Danisha a hug, and then he went in for a hug with me.

"Hey." I said, "Oh, wow! You smell great."

I saw Matteo glance at me when I told Raj this. Matteo then hugged Danisha, and we looked at each other for a moment- and then he reached down and briefly hugged me.

I could almost tell he wanted to hug me for longer, but he held himself back.

I held myself back as well.

When we pulled away, we looked at each other- and Raj said to Matteo, "Let's go get some drinks, man."

When Matteo and Raj walked away, Danisha looked at me.

"Were you okay with hugging Matteo?"

"Sure." I said, "I was fine with it."

Matteo and Raj came back with their drinks, and Raj asked, "Danisha, is your fiancé coming again? He was great."

"He is, in fact." Danisha said, "He should be here soon."

"When are you getting married?" Matteo asked her.

"October." Danisha said, "We're just having a small wedding. No more than 50 people."

"Cassidy, if you need a date for the wedding, I've been told I'm a wonderful plus one." Raj said to me in a playful tone.

"Is that so?" I said back to him, "Maybe I'll take you up on that."

I saw Matteo look at us, and then he shifted his gaze away.

I wonder how he feels about this.

I started to feel bad- because I knew that I wasnt going to have anything happen with Raj in a romantic sense. He was a handsome guy- but I was in no place to start anything.

"I'm going to grab another drink." Matteo said, finishing his beer, "I'll be right back."

Matteo walked away, and I watched as he went up to the bar. Allison immediately walked over to him, and he grinned at her and spoke.

I couldn't help but to feel my heart sink.

I know it's not my place. But seeing him smile at her like that really breaks me on the inside.

She's his peace now.

"Hey, D. I'm going to step outside for a moment." I said, "My mom just texted me and I'm going to call her back and see what's up."

"All good." Danisha said, and I could tell she knew I was lying, "I'll keep Raj entertained here."

I gave Danisha and Raj a smile, and then made my way out of the bar.

I couldn't stand outside of the bar in front of all of the people walking in, in the state that I was in.

I was in a daze, and I just needed to be by myself for a moment.

I found Danisha's car, and stood against the drivers side door. It was a warm night out, and I stood there for a moment just feeling the air against me.

What a mess this is.

I wish I could go back to a few weeks ago- where I was living in ignorant bliss when it came to Matteo.

I'm starting to regret how I went about everything with him.

Seeing him is bringing back all of these old feelings that I am not able to suppress.

I wasn't sure how long I was standing outside. I just couldn't bring myself to go back in at the moment.

I kind of just want to leave.

I was seconds away from texting Danisha that I was going to ask my mom to come pick me up, when I heard footsteps walking my way.

I turned to see Matteo walking toward me.

"Hi." I said to him, as he came closer.

"Do you mind if I'm here?" he asked me.

"You're fine." I said, crossing my arms and leaning against the car.

"Danisha said you were calling your mom." Matteo said, "Is everything okay, did you speak to her?"

"I wasn't calling my mom." I said to Matteo, "I needed fresh air."

"Are you...okay?" Matteo asked me.

"Matteo, it's really difficult having to watch you with your girlfriend. That's all." I said, not looking at him.

"Do you know how annoying it is having to watch my friend flirt with you?" Matteo said back, and I turned to him.

He had an expression on his face that said "Oh f**k, I shouldn't have said that".

"Does Raj even know who I am? Who I really am?" I asked.

"No." Matteo said, "He doesn't know we dated."

I saw a flicker of guilt cross his face.

"Matteo, why are you treating me like I'm some dirty little secret?" I asked, "Do you know how tough it is to see your girlfriend at work each day, and then have to lie through my teeth about who I am to her? Don't you feel even the least bit bad lying about who I am to her as well? She's a sweet girl, she doesn't deserve that."

"Of course I feel bad." Matteo said, "I don't know what the f**k to do, Cassidy. How do I even go about telling her exactly who you are?"

"I don't know, you just tell her?" I said, "I know it's not going to be easy, Matteo. But you have to tell her."

"f**k. I know." Matteo sighed, taking off his glasses and cleaning them on his shirt, "I know, okay?"

"I'm not used to seeing you with your glasses now." I said to him.

"I ran out of contacts." he said, "I didn't realize I was on my last pair."

That's not like him.

We were silent for a moment, and then he said, "I'll tell Allison. You're right, I need to."

I turned to Matteo and said, "If you don't, I will."

Matteo narrowed his eyes, "Isn't that not really your place?"

"I don't care." I said, "And it kind of is, actually. I work with her. And I was your girlfriend."

I saw Matteo's expression soften a bit when I said the word "girlfriend."

"Don't tell her, Cassidy. I will." Matteo said.

"What, are you nervous I'll say something bad about you?" I asked.

"Last time I checked, you were the one that f****d me over." Matteo said.

I felt my heart pound, and my anger rise.

I faced Matteo, looking up at him. He was looking right back at me.

How is it that we went from loving each other so much, to now staring like this at each other in anger?

"And last time I checked, you were never dishonest." I said back to Matteo.

As he looked at me- I couldn't help but to think-

Goddamit, I am so f*****g attracted to you still.

What I wouldn't do to have you f**k me so damn ha-

I swore I saw his eyes flicker toward my lips.

"Just don't say anything, okay?" Matteo said to me.

"Fine." I said back.

"Are you coming back?" Matteo asked me.

"Yeah. Just give me a minute."

"Alright." Matteo nodded. He then stood there for a moment longer- and he walked away.

I watched him as he walked off- once again feeling the devastation of the fact that this was now our relationship.

Even the last time I saw him, when I was 20 years old, we still expressed love for each other.

That seemed to be gone now.