Love Beyond The Rite

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Staring out the passenger window with a million thoughts on my mind. I see my boyfriend Paul’s hand hesitate to grab his phone. We’ve been driving for a few hours now and I’ve noticed he’d glance at it sitting in the console every few minutes.

This whole weekend has been weird. We’re on our way from Florida to my mom’s house in upstate New York. It’s a 31 hour drive so we decided to break it up and stay in a “Romantic cabin” for a couple days to recoup.

Paul and I have been together since junior year of college. It’s been four years and I was hoping for a ring soon. I know I’m being silly but we’ve graduated and basically live together, we may have separate apartments but he’s at my place most of the week. Im almost 27, I was hoping to start settling down.

His sandy blonde hair was shining gold when the sun hit it. His eyes were a gorgeous copper color and i loved when his would meet my blue eyes, but lately it felt like he couldn’t look me in the eyes. It felt very odd. I wondered if he was lost in thoughts of his own, or if there was something more.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, adjusting a stray lock of hair that had escaped my braid. My chestnut locks were a bit disheveled, but I still looked presentable despite the turmoil brewing inside me. My blue eyes, however, told a different story - they were red-rimmed from crying in silence over the past week, my heart heavy with the news that my mom's cancer had spread, leaving her with little time left. Each mile closer to home felt like a weight bearing down on my chest. Paul had been supportive, but part of me needed him more than ever, yearned for a promise of forever in those moments.

This trip was all about being there for my mom in her final days, and I wanted to look my best for her, even if it was just a small gesture of defiance against the sadness that had been suffocating me. I applied a light layer of makeup, hoping to conceal the exhaustion and despair etched on my face. The bronzer complemented my freckles, and the mascara made my eyes sparkle, but despite my efforts, I couldn't shake off the feeling that Paul was avoiding me - and it hurt.

We tried to be intimate this weekend, but Paul's lack of effort was glaring. He couldn’t keep it up. I couldn't help but wonder if my mom's nearing death was just an inconvenience for him, a distraction from his own life. The thought made my stomach twist with anger and hurt. I felt bad I didn’t come home more often to see my mom, but Paul had been my whole world in college. Now, I realized I'd been blind to his true nature. His priorities had always been clear: himself, first.

Paul pulled into a gas station, his expression a mask of annoyance. "I need to grab some eye drops," he muttered, "my contacts are killing me." He snatched his phone and swung open the door, his eyes already scanning the convenience store. Before turning around, he tossed out a half-hearted question, "You want a water?" His tone was flat, lacking the warmth I'd grown accustomed to.

I forced a smile, trying to hide the sting of his indifference. "That would be wonderful, thanks," I said, attempting to sound cheerful despite the ache in my heart.

As he walked away, I watched Paul shake out his limbs and slip on his sunglasses, a carefree gesture that only highlighted the tension between us. A text notification flashed on his dashboard:

_Brandon_ - picture message.

Then, five more texts from Brandon followed in quick succession. Paul's younger brother. A nagging sense of unease crept in, recalling the multiple times Paul had stepped away to answer calls from Brandon this weekend. I'd tried to brush it off, but the constant interruptions had grated on me, making it hard to enjoy our time together before heading home.

My curiosity got the better of me, and I clicked on the message to read it.

As I scrolled through the messages, my heart sank. Either Brandon was sending Paul another girl's photo, or Brandon wasn't Brandon at all. Staring back at me were two perfectly perky breasts connected to a girl with blonde hair. Curious, I read the next text.

"I can't wait for you to get back, my p***y is wet for you."

My mind reeled. No way. This was Paul's phone, and these messages were explicit. Another text followed.

"I keep thinking about what you did to me last weekend, I need more..."

I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. Paul would never do this, would he? Another picture message came through, and I hesitated before hitting read. The image showed a familiar bed, the blue and red striped sheets I had given Paul for Christmas. A bleach-blonde woman lay naked on the bed, her fingers in her v****a. A belly button piercing glinted in the light.

Her text accompanied the image. "Can I call you again? I want you to hear me moan your name again."

Five minutes had passed since Paul went into the convenience store. Just to get eye drops. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

A loud ringing pierced the air through the phone speaker. Should I answer it? Before I could decide, Paul picked up, oblivious to the fact that his phone was still connected to the car's speaker. I held my breath, listening in on the conversation.

"Hey, babe," Paul said, his voice low and intimate.

My heart sank. Who was he talking to? This can’t be to Brandon

I debated whether to reveal that I could hear the conversation or play it cool, pretending I didn't know. For now, I remained silent, frozen in uncertainty.

A low, husky whisper escaped Paul's lips as he spoke into the phone. "Ashley, I told you I can't really talk this weekend."

The voice on the other end whined, "But baabeee, I miss you!! When are you going to be back from helping your brother?"

My heart sank. Ashley. So that's her name. And Paul was using his brother as a decoy, a convenient excuse to hide his infidelity from me.

Paul's voice took on a pleading tone. "Don't worry, once I get back, I'll show you how much I missed you. Just give me some space these next couple days, and I promise I'll make it up to you."

The words dripped with insincerity, and I felt a surge of anger and betrayal. How could he lie to me like this?

“Ugh… ok Paulie. But before you go I want you to touch yourself to the thought of me…” she said very seductively.

This can. Not. Be. Happening right now.

He sighs. “Ok fine, I’m in the bathroom. I’m already hard from seeing your perfect titties. Tell me what you’re doing right now and we’ll get off together.”

She goes on to explain to him how she’s touching herself and starts moaning his name “paulie!!! Oh Paul!! I can’t wait to be your f*****g wife”

Did she just say wife? How long has he been seeing this girl? A tear ran down my freckled cheek. Great more tears.

He’s been sleeping with this girl and obviously lying to her about me. She thinks she’s the one!?

I’ve been so lost in my shock I stopped paying attention until I hear him grunt and say her name into the phone.

“Ash I got to go. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

As I waited for Paul to return, I wondered what excuse he'd concoct for his prolonged absence. Obviously, he wouldn't reveal the truth - that he'd just had phone s*x with his other girlfriend.

As he walked out of the gas station, rubbing the back of his neck, my anger simmered. He'd forgotten my water, a small gesture that seemed insignificant now.

I wiped away my tears as he opened the door and slid into the seat, winded. "Everything ok? That took a while," I said, trying to hide my emotions.

Paul shrugged, his expression nonchalant. "Oh, yeah. I just couldn't find the damn eye drops, and the line was long."

I feigned ignorance, looking around for the water. "That's annoying... where's my water?"

Paul's face scrunched up in apology. "Oh, damn, I'm sorry, Ember. I totally blanked in there. Will you be okay until we get to your mom's in a bit?"

I bit my tongue, fighting the urge to confront him. How could he be so calm and oblivious to my pain?

“Oh okay. Yea. No worries…” I looked down.

Paul puts his mirror down and starts putting the eyedrops in.

“I can’t wait to get lasik eye surgery. These things are so irritating” he complained.

“I thought you weren’t going to get that anytime soon? isnt it expensive?” I asked him.

He glanced over at me “oh yeah well it is. When your mom’s money comes in I figured you’d help me out.”

Is this guy for f*****g real. "She's not even dead yet," I said, my voice laced with bitterness. "I don't even know what I'm getting in my inheritance, especially since it has to be split three ways. Dad didn't have life insurance or anything, so I really don't expect a thing."