The Only Way

The accident

I woke up lazily. What a crazy night. Oh, I wish I had been more careful. Oh my God! What if I had been out during classes?

I buried my head in my pillow, dreading the thought. I was so distraught by the thought, I hadn't noticed what was wrong. My head felt as if a nuclear bomb had gone off inside it. And everything else seemed drab and colorless. Wait. Colorless?

Everything was in monotone shades. What? I got up out of bed and fell down. On my face. I suffered in silence, hoping this was just a dream. But if the pain was so real, it probably wasn't. I stayed there for about 10 minutes. I then slithered toward the door.

"You need some help?" Toby asked me.

I quickly got to my feet. "How long have you been there?"

He chuckled and I felt myself blush. "I've been here long enough to see you yelling in your sleep and then getting up and falling on you face. Until now."

"Was I really on the floor for long?"

"You were face first on the floor for 15 minutes. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that is long."

He chuckled loudly. I felt myself blush more. This was embarrassing.

"How long have I been out?" I asked, trying desperately to change the topic. "You've been out for hardly any time. About 10 hours? I don't know. The doctor told me not to tell you but," He paused, his eyes radiating pain. "There's a chance this might leave a few scars or headaches," I winced. "But I'm focusing on the bright side. The doctor said the big scar won't remain." I didn't want to tell him.

Toby was nice and all, but I didn't trust him much. I didn't want to tell him I couldn't see color. Who could I tell? They'd hate me. They already pity me. How could I make it any worse? I'd keep it a secret. Maybe I'd tell Dan. Not even Jen. He was the only one I could trust. I'd have to call him. My head was still throbbing, so my thoughts were disturbed. Toby looked concerned. I waved him off. I'd change into some clothes. I went into the washroom and I saw myself in the mirror. My head was stitched near my eye. Tears filled my eyes. I don't even care about my looks! I told myself.

And my hair covered most of it, it didn't even matter. But I sobbed, first out of anger for myself. Then I was angry at Sam. Then the driver. Then I cried in pity. In the corner were my blood soaked clothes. I cried more. Once I came out of the shower, I saw some freshly ironed clothes. Jeans, a hoodie, undergarments. A note nearby said, "You're welcome. Bea."

Thank God. I love Bea. This was great. My eyes were red and swollen, I guessed because they only black and white to me. I walked out nervously. Arguing with a doctor, I saw Bea and Harry. My eyes searched for Jay without asking me. Disappointment welled up when I couldn't see him.

"Hey!" Toby came up beside me. I smiled.

"How are you doing? You know, headache and all."

"It's not that bad." I lied. My head was hurting. Really bad. But he didn't need to worry. But he didn't believe me. I could tell he saw the pain in my eyes. But he didn't bring it up, and I'm grateful for that.

I went up to Bea who looked as if she might punch the doctor.

"What do you mean, permanent migraines?"

"We're trying our best, but-"

"What do you mean, you're trying your best?"

"Ma'am, I-"

"What do you mean,-"

I smiled awkwardly and said, "Hi, Bea."

She grabbed me in a bone crushing hug. "Ouch. Bea, I'm still recovering." She stepped back immediately.

"Oh, how are you feeling? I'm sorry, these stupid doctors can't fix your headaches, I'm going to kill Sam. How could he? And you stupid girl, haven't you heard you should look before crossing the road, oh, I was so worried. Also, you should call your family." She looked horrified, having reminded me of my plight.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

I cut her off with a wave. I would call Dan and the Kowalskis, they were my family now. But bringing up my parents, that was like adding salt to the wound.

But she didn't mean it. I was hoping.

"Can I go back now?" I asked the doctor, giving him my most puppy like eyes.

"Er... I'm sorry, but you need to stay at least another day." He walked away before I could convince him otherwise. I couldn't see my blue hair, but everyone was staring at me for it. Walking back, as the persistent nurse said I should, was painful. My phone was brought to me. I called Dan.

"Hey, Dan."

Hey, Liv! How are you?

"Um, I'm not very well, currently. "

What ?

"I had an, um, an accident."

What? You tripped?

"No, actually.. I was hit by a car."

Silence followed.

Why didn't you lead with that!?

"I didn't want to worry you, I'm OK, mostly." I said remembering how colorless everything was.

What happened?  Are you ok? Should I come? What- how did this happen?

"Um, I was being annoyed by a guy."

He growled.

"I left angrily, and I was in the road. And suddenly a car came out of nowhere."

How could you? What's wrong? Where?

"My head. And.. um," I stalled, wondering if I should tell him. "I can't see color." Dan might as well have exploded.

You what? Get me the stupid doctor. He and I are going to have words.

"No!" I panicked. This plan was not well thought through. "I didn't tell anyone. I don't want them to worry. I told you because I trust you. Don't tell anyone. Not even Jen, please." I insisted.

I don't think that's a good idea. Please, let them help.

"They can't."

What?

"Don't you think I want to see color? I want to be better. But the doctor said everything's OK. He can't tell. Can we pretend that everything's fine? Please? I don't want to be singled out as a freak, again."

I tried to ignore the growing pain in my throat that had occurred due to me trying to hold my sobs in.

Fine. I won't tell. But you better be careful. Or else I'm going to murder you.

"OK. Thanks. Bye." I sighed in relief.

A memory struck my brain. The papers about the Aurae. Jay wouldn't budge. I'd have to do all this on my own. On Monday, we were back to our drab schedule. Wait, what? I loved studies. What was I thinking? 

 That night I left my dorm. All the rooms were locked. I went to the head office, hoping to find it unlocked. My prayers were answered. There was no one inside. I sneaked in. Immediately I started searching where I had seen the papers. They were being kept in a drawer. But which one?

 The whole room would have been gorgeous if it hadn't looked like a nest. Papers strewn everywhere, empty cups left on the floor and no labels. I couldn't recognize anything in this mess. I was searching on the floor, among the papers when she walked in.

I quickly jumped to my feet. "Ma'am! "

"What are you doing here?" She asked suspiciously.

"I- I was looking for you!"

"On the floor?"

"Oh, no, ma'am, I just dropped my pen and was looking for it."

"OK... why were you looking for me?"

"Huh?"

"You said you were looking for me." She prompted.

"Oh, I heard that you were going to, um." I stammered, trying to find an excuse.

"I heard you wanted some help cleaning your office."

"Well now that you bring it up, I have been looking for help, but you aren't the best choice. I'll let you know if I change my mind."

I could have checked her office if she had let me.

I walked out, having done enough for that night. The next day I woke up groggily, my head pounding. Bea was already ready. I checked my watch.

7 15. Aah, plenty of time. Wait. 7 15? No!

"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked Bea.

"You looked so peaceful that it seemed you were dead. Kind of a pity that you're not. You're much cuter when you're not moving."

I threw my pillow at her, grumbling. I got ready in record time. My classes were easy enough. But then came the self defense class. I wondered if I could skip. I had a suspicion that Jay might actually enjoy attacking me. I sighed. I wish I was taller, and bigger in general.

I took out my book, reading to escape the misery that is school. I got transported to a world of magic and happiness. Everything was good and well until it happened. He died. This is why I try taking a break from reading. Because it causes nothing but pain. 

Annoyance flared in me as if it was a flame. I either wanted to break down crying or attack people. And fortunately, I could achieve the latter during our next class. I stepped on the mat, my anger visible. It unnerved even Bea who stayed silent after I had given her a glare. Harry had warned Jay. 

"Back out, just once. I don't know why she's angry, but you need to stay away." Jay was going to pay for ignoring this advice. I don't know why, but books had this effect on me. I felt angry. My head was also hurting. I was getting used to the pain, but it would take more time. He punched and I dodged, usually I would have been too slow to do so. He was surprised, but there was more in store. I dodged his other punches and struck him with one of mine. Caught by surprise, his nose started bleeding. I could've stopped there, but I didn't want to.

I tripped him and he fell. I kicked him and he groaned with pain. I realized this wasn't just the pain if the book I was taking out. I was unleashing months of pain. The pain of my mother's death. I had never truly coped with it. My father's death. My accident. My color blindness. I was angry.

"OK, you can stop now, Olivia." Mrs. Sanya said, worried about Jay.

But I didn't.  I hardly even heard her. Jay tried scrambling away from me. Someone held me back. 

Couldn't they see I was finally enjoying?

Jay was sent to the MedBay. Everyone left the class.

"Wait." Mrs. Sanya told me. "Are you ok, Olivia?"

"Yes." I nervously fiddled with my fingers. I was only muttering. "Yes." I spoke louder this time.

"Every time you step on that mat, you get beat up. But you always get mercy. He could hurt you worse. But he doesn't. But the moment you got the energy, you almost killed him. Why?"

I wanted to break down. I wanted to cry and tell her it was my fault, all my fault that my dad died, and it was my fault that I had been hit by a car. I was nothing but a hazard to anyone who knew me. I beat up Jay because of my stupidity, and he was paying the price. I wanted to tell her that I wished I could forget, I wished I could change. Into Bea perhaps. She was happy. The worst part of what I had done today? I enjoyed it. I had had fun with every punch, every kick. What was wrong with me? Instead I just said, "I don't know."

She sighed and let me out. Immediately, I realized I had beat Jay. Perhaps I had been a little harsh. But I beat him. And a deal was a deal.

I ran toward the medbay, which had become a frequent hang out for me. I went in. On one of the several beds I saw Jay sitting. He had quite a few bruises and his hair were messier than usual.

I didn't know which reaction I expected from him. Perhaps anger. A broken pride. But not this.

 He was dejected, sad.

"Hello." He said glumly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"I know you didn't. I'm surprised, but I didn't know you hated me that much!"

He tried to joke, but his tiredness clung to every last letter.

I smiled. "Good to see you're OK. Now about that favor."

He laughed. It wasn't fake, and no tiredness hung to it.

"I should've known you didn't come here just to cheer me up." He said it heartily, but there was bitterness in his words. Maybe I should've waited for some time. But no. Better sooner than later.

"What do you want?" He asked me.

I smiled as I explained my plan.

Once I was done he remarked, "Woah. You have some guts, blue."

I cringed as he said his version of my name.

"Couldn't you call me by my actual name?"

"Where's the fun in that ? Plus if you want my help, you're gonna have to cope."

I sighed, knowing I could never change his mind. That night I snuck out.

I saw Sam. I hated him. I loathed him. He was saying something to his friend.

"Yeah, I can't. Or she'll find out and it'll all be over."

I suppose everyone had their secrets. Who was 'she', though? I'd have to find out. Bea would enjoy this kind of gossip. I winced at the name. She had gotten really angry at me and though I told her I apologized, she still seemed mad.

Why didn't she understand? I didn't mean to. Maybe I did, in the corner of my subconscious. I didn't know and I didn't care. I walked quietly past Sam and his friend. They didn't see me. Thank God. The last thing I needed was more drama. I met Jay outside his dorm. He looked annoyingly gorgeous and I tried to ignore my growing urge to punch him again. I suspected he would not take kindly to another punch. His eyes, though. They were a key feature to his beauty. I liked the way they twinkled and shone. Their color was absolutely stunning.

But I could only see them as grey now. I shook the thought from my head.

"Hey, you done staring at me?" He asked, grinning.

"I wasn't- I did not-" I tried to form full sentences. At that moment I was glad I was color blind, because I'm positive if I could see color, I'd see a red glow from my cheeks. Fortunately it was dark and he probably did not see it.

He smirked as he usually did, and led the way. We walked in silence until we rea her the office. "OK," he said. "We need to wait until she leaves for good. Alright?"

I nodded. We ended up waiting for quite some time. At about 1 00 in the morning, the head walked out and locked the office. She carried the keys on a rubber band tied loosely to her shirt.

Wait, he mouthed. And watch how us big kids do it.

I rolled my eyes as he followed her quietly, almost literally blending into the shadows. I couldn't deny it was impressive. He got really close to her and then she turned back. Oh no. I thought. He blew it. He came running back and said, "sorry." I looked down dejectedly.  I shouldn't have expected much. But how else could I find out how Mrs. Brown was involved in the Aurae?

Jay was saying something. Couldn't he shut up for a second? As he finished, I added, "what?"

He sighed as if annoyed. "I literally gave a speech on how awesome I am and you didn't even hear it?"

"I'm kind of glad that I missed it." He playfully punched my arm and I punched him back. He grabbed his arm immediately, groaning in pain.

I covered my mouth, horrified, as I apologized. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

He laughed then and said, "I'm only kidding. No need to take it so seriously. "

I really wanted to punch him now.  I grabbed the keys that he was holding and we ran to the office.

"What's so important that you need to break into the head's office?"

"That's for me to know and you to not know, Jay."

"I'm pretty sure that's not how it goes."

I shook my head and laughed as we snuck into the office. It was messy as ever.

It would be difficult to find anything here. I sighed as I realized I'd have to ask for help. "OK, Jay. I can't tell you why, but I can tell you what I'm looking for. Only, in exchange, you have to help me find it." Jay nodded eagerly.

"A paper with Aurae written on it. K?"

He was already searching. About half an hour had passed, and I was ready to give up when he waved a paper in his hand.

"The Aurae, " he read. "Wait. What's this ? Olivia, why were you looking for this?" He seemed suddenly angry. "What are getting involved in?"

"What does it say?" I asked, avoiding his questions. 

"Don't even try to ignore my questions. What is this about?"

"I'll tell you." A voice spoke from near the door. I turned and saw our head.

As the paper dropped out of Jay's hand, I squinted and saw the end part.

'And with all the benefits, the job of capturing the missing child is given to Alana Brown. '