The Twins secret

CH 7 - Switching places

Ariadne

What have I done? Was the mantra running through my mind as I trembled and let the tears flow.

Pull yourself together Ariadne Orion chastised in my head. Ariadne are you listening to me, Ariadne, Ariadne. There he goes again. He won’t give me a moments piece. My worlds crumbling around me, and he wants me to be my stubborn non nonsense self.

Out of the two of us, he was always the cry baby. I was forever protecting and patching him up when he skinned his knees or fell from his horse. I hadn’t cried in front of anyone in over eighteen years, I think my tears now are terrifying him.

Damn straight they are terrifying me. Oh, I had forgotten he could hear my every stray thought.

Ariadne why are you crying. There is no reason to cry. This is not like you. Ariadne…. Ariadne talk to me. I just wish he would be quiet; I had not resented sharing my thoughts with him for over three years but right now I would do anything to get away from him. To be alone in my body, alone in my grief.

Silence.

Part of me felt guilt for thinking those things knowing he would hear, but that part was no bigger than a grain of sand. Relief swept through me as sobs wracked my body. What was I going to do?

She ran from me!

 I had fooled only myself, adamant I knew how Lily would react, that I knew she would never accept my affections. I told myself I was saving myself heart ache by staying silent. But that was my was of holding out hope, fooling myself, keeping my fantasies alive. If I were truly honest with myself, I had harboured a shred of hope, fantasied that if I confessed, she would welcome my love, that she would return it. That hope, tiny as it was, kept me going. Now it was gone.

She had been horrified when she opened her eyes and saw me instead of Orion.

Orion….

Did she really want it to be his lips or was it just that she did not want them to be mine? Did they even know each other? I thought back to our younger years. When Lily spent summers at our country estate. She had surely known Orion as a teenager as we were nearly inseparable, wracking my memory I could not find one memory of seeing them interact without me as a catalyst. I knew in the four years we shared a body he had never spoken to her but what about before that? Had she harboured a crush on him in our youth? Did she still harbour that crush?

My tears started to dry up, my sobs interrupted by gasping breathes and small hiccups. I raised my head bewildered, when had I ended up on the floor?

A small tentative murmur of Ariadne? Sounded in my head.

“yes” I answered out loud, testing my raw vocal cords.

I am sorry, I do not think I quite realised what this girl means to you.

“How could you not? You are in my head. You hear every thought I have.”

I had assumed it was just lust. Forbidden fruit and all. That she was like all the others, a chase and some fun then you would grow bored or another pretty woman would catch your fancy and you would move on.

“You really don’t know me very well at all then dear brother, I’ve loved Lily since that day when we were fourteen and I broke my arm falling from the willow tree. She tended me, refusing to leave my side for days, I fell in love with her bit by”

I will fix this; I do not yet know how, but I will come up with something.

I shrugged, defeated. I did not think there was anything to be done. I used the mahogany desk as leverage and gained my feet. Stumbling over to my chair sitting down heavily, the leather supple from use, it still retained traces of my body heat from earlier which seeped into my now cold back and thighs. Leaning back, I put my feet up on the polished surface of my desk and poured myself a large shot of whiskey. Downing it in one gulp, I loved the burn, the fire, the way it warmed first my throat then my stomach, expanding outward to leave my whole form feeling warmed. Pouring myself a second, I downed that in one swig as well. After pouring my third Orion reminded me of the gala I was meant to be hosting.

“I really do not want to deal with them right now” I really wanted to finish the rest of this decanter.

That’s fine Ari, my suits in the cupboard, give me control and I will deal with them for you.

Would that be any different? Yes, Orion would be what everyone saw, who they interacted with, but I would still see and hear everything. Still be there, a silent observer along for the ride, who could not stop the play I would witness nor change the script. Orion would have complete autonomy; I would never risk exposing us by seizing control.

Could I handle that? Would Lily still be there, or would she have made her excuses and fled? What if Lily had told our secret? What if she had stayed silent only to wait until we were there to bear witness to her accusations?

Now you are being silly Ariadne, I highly doubt Lily has done anything of the sort. She never did strike me as impulsive or foolish. Going back to the gala raving about possession and magic etcetera would just have them think she is feeble minded, hysterical and needs a stay in a quiet country asylum. She knows that.

He was right, Lily would know the consequences to herself if she spoke out. She would stay silent, at least for now.

I still did not want to attend the gala again however Orion had managed to shoot down all reason for not giving up control. I did not have to like it, just witness it and survive the next two and a half hours until we could leave.

I let go of my control, Orion’s consciousness surging to the forefront, my body morphing to accommodate. Growing taller and broader, skin darkening a few shades. It took but a split second.

It is a strange feeling to know you were not the one to move your hand but still feel the pressure and coolness of a Crystal decanter in that hand. You never stood up nor moved your legs to walk across a room yet feel the rhythmic slap of your feet on the floor and see your scenery move, the other side of the room coming closer. To notice something in your peripheral vision and want to glance at it but be unable to move your eyes let alone your head in its direction.

It’s a sensation I had gotten use to over the past four years but still was not fond of.

Orion walked us to the freestanding cupboard behind my desk after returning the decanter of whiskey to its home. He dropped our silk robe on the floor without ceremony, opening the cupboard to find his clothes. It was quite a small cupboard only big enough for his suit, my dress, our robe and a coat each. It was not unusual for us to switch in the office, so we normally kept at least one change of clothes here.

He reached out his right hand, grabbing a hold of his shirt, the material was cool to the touch, soft and silky as he donned it.  His nimble fingers making short work of the buttons. Next came his pants, dove grey, buttoned at the waist and held in place by suspenders. Lastly adding a cream demask vest, matching cravat and leather boots.

Checking himself in the mirror he adjusted himself and I sighed with relief. That discomfort and sometimes pain made me glad to be a woman. I had envied many things about men in the past and even harboured a wish I was born one on occasion. There life seemed so easy. Marry the woman you wanted, fool around with as many women as you wanted and be labelled a Casanova not a w***e, be able to start a family with your lover all by yourself. There were many things to envy. This was something I did not envy at all. He chuckled at my train of thought and had I control of our face I would have scowled at him for his amusement.

After he was done getting ready he strode out of the office head held high, like he owned the place, which essentially we did, making his way easily in the gloom towards the gala.

Stepping across the threshold he scanned the scene, everyone was merry and having a wonderful time, the musicians were playing a Handel’s water music, a few couples dancing under the chandelier the rest mingling with drinks in hand.

Are you looking for Lily? I asked him. A pleading note entering my voice. Even though I could not see his amusement I could feel our lips twitch, the muscles in our cheeks clench as he suppressed his grin.

I wanted to both hide from her and see her again. Why my brother found such amusement in my conflicting desires I could not fathom but it pissed me off.

“STOP SMIRKING AT ME DAMN IT” I yelled inside his head knowing it would cause him some pain. He deserved it.