UMBRA

Lights On

"She's awake." My sight was blurry and murmurs were the only thing I can hear.

"What happened Adelaide?"

"Why did you went there?"

After that darkness enveloped me again the voices fading in the background.

After who knows how long, I suddenly woke up.

I held my head with both hands when it started to pound. The pain was too much for me It felt as thought something was drilling my head non-stop but the murmurs were already gone.

"Adie are you okay?" Eli suddenly held my arms her hands felt dry and cold, "Is it your migraine again?"

I pinched the side of my head and endured the endless throbbing. I was starting to hear the voices again. God, It f*****g hurts.

"Adie?" Eli called. I can hear her calling my name again and again.

I took the medicine canister on my bedside and opened it.

"Drink two."

I took two subconsciously and breathed heavily as if trying to calm something. After half an hour of silence the pain was now bearable.

"Do you feel better now?" She asked worried.

I nodded. My body went stiff when I realized what I just did.

"Are you drinking your meds on time?" she added.

I didn't answered and just sat there quietly. The pills gives me nightmares at night.

"Adie you should listen carefully to what I'm telling you. It can help you heal fast."

I glanced at the opened windows. The morning breeze blew the curtains.

"Adie." 

I was staring into space. Thinking of what could've probably went wrong in me. I can feel her standing up and walking towards the door. Even her footsteps can't be heard.

"I'm not crazy," I said. 

I heard her sigh, "You should go outside sometimes, Adie."

I waited for a minute or two before standing up and walking towards the small balcony. The cold wind welcomed me.

'What are you going to do?'

I breathed in when I heard the voice from the back of my mind. It was different from the voices that comes from demise, suffering, misery and eternal pain.

It was bearable but takes my sanity in exchange. It felt like someone was living in my head.

I went up the to the handrails of its terrace and stood up straight. The wind blew my hair gently as if caressing it. I closed my eyes.

And jumped off.

I CAN hear the muffled voices around me. I slowly opened my eyes. I was on a different room with no balcony that I can jump off. Furnitures were also missing. All I can see is a small wooden wardrobe in the corner of the room and a small coffee table on the other side.

"You're awake." I glanced at the person beside me, it was that Doctor whom I first met when I got admitted and the one who keeps asking me stupid question, she gave something to the two nurses beside her and looked back at me. I took a quick glance at the nameplate on her chest 

.. Dr. Deludure.

I next looked at the cast of my arm. I can feel the pain coming from the wounds in my cheeks and legs. They say it takes time to kill something rotten. I laughed inwardly as if to mock myself.

"You were asleep for two days, Adie." I avoided looking at Eli who was standing on my other side.

"Adie why did you jump?" Deludure asked.

I stared at her dumbly. For the past five months I was admitted here it was the first time I saw her not wearing any white med coat. She was only wearing a a red polo and a pencil skirt.

"Were you hearing it again?" she asked with that soft voice of her again as if lulling me to sleep. It sent a weird chill in my back.

I didn't know how to tell them that it never stopped. I just stared at her and never answered, she also stared back at me before writing something on her little notepad. The silver strands of hair which stood out from the rest of her slicked black hair made her look weirdly elegant.

I can see Eli staring at me in the corner of my eyes.

"Luckily you just had an arm fracture. There were no other injuries except for that." Eli suddenly said after staring at me quietly the whole time.

I clutched the blanket that was covering half of my body.

"Are you hearing the voices again, Adelaide?" Deludure's voice was too calming.

'Death will not come to those who chase it'

A feeling of tiredness suddenly washed over me after hearing that voice in my head, so I closed my eyes tightly. It was ringing inside my head over and over again. Like a mixed tape on loop.

Deludure walked beside me and took the tray of medications with her before looking at me again.

"You should take care of yourself more often if you really want get out of here."

I was afraid to be left alone. I watched her as she went out of my room before covering myself with my blanket.

"Adie." Eli called. I covered my ears, my whole body trembling.

But her call didn't stop but instead went closer besides my ear as if she was just right behind my ears talking.

"Right, I'm not crazy." I whispered and laughed, "Not yet."

Not yet.

"But you can see me Adie.." I covered my ears as tightly as I could, "And hear me."

Not yet.

"Adie."

Not yet.

I finally surrendered to whatever emotion I felt at that moment. I cried as if I was in pain but no tears came out, I screamed again and again.

'Call me' that voice again!

No.

I'm not crazy.

Not yet.

'Call me' Why can't they just leave me the f**k alone?!

I haven't lost my mind yet. Not yet.

'Call for my name'

Then why am I crying?

"Eury." I called and everything went black.