A Second Chance with You

Chapter 3

Thursday passed in a blur of hectic delight. KC sat in her classes and met most of her professors who spent their first day introducing themselves and setting their expectations on their subjects. Some of them outlined projects that may be assigned. She absorbed it all in with bliss.

 She almost had a complete list of the required textbooks for her subjects and looks forward to meeting the Introduction to Psychology professor tomorrow. After her classes, KC visited the library and became so engrossed in scanning the shelves, completely forgetting about lunch until her stomach made a loud protest that caused everyone within the vicinity to look around. Blushing furiously, she hurried to check out the Psychology books to do an advanced reading.

Friday morning came with great excitement. The weekend is just a corner away. It has been a while since she had to study, she forgot how psychologically taxing it can be. Her online job also demands several hours of her time, otherwise, she would need to find a cheaper apartment which could mean a longer commute. She got up and stretched making a mental to-do list as she headed to her humble kitchen. Two hours later, she’s sitting on the same seat across Jo, chatting about their first week.

“Ate KC, I hope you don’t mind me asking,” Jo began. “I saw your post about a report you almost missed to submit. Are you a working student?”

“Yes,” KC replied. “I mean, I used to work for a BPO company but I already resigned. There were just some reports I needed to finish and submit but that’s all done now. I didn’t want to leave the person who replaced me with a lot to deal with knowing she’s new.”

Jo looked impressed. “That’s considerate. How long did you work there?”

“Almost five years. I had to save enough to be able to fund my education for the next four years. It took me eight years to save enough.” She said with a laugh. “Anyway, I’m doing part-time online jobs so I could still go to school without starving or become homeless.” She continued with a smile.

“Wow, that’s a long time!” Jo exclaimed, awed. “How long have you been working?”

 “Um, let’s see, nine years? This isn’t my first time in college too. I had to leave before because of… stuff that happened. Anyway… back now.” she finished feebly.

If Jo noticed her hesitation, she did not show it. “Nine years? That’s amazing!”

KC grinned at the astonished look on her face. It seemed Jo is anxious to join the workforce and earn a living. “Thanks. Hopefully, I can finish it this time.”

“I’m sure you can. At least you have your own money to spend.” She said with obvious envy. “I can’t wait to graduate and get a job. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to explain why we need a textbook for each subject? Then there are laboratory equipment and other things. It’s just the first semester and my mother is already complaining.”

“Nursing is an expensive course. Actually, getting a college degree is expensive and we still have a long way to go.” She agreed, looking at Jo’s glum face. “Do you want to try online work?” She asked suddenly.

Her friend instantly perked up. “Yes! How? Is it hard? Do you think I can do it?”

KC chuckled at her eagerness. Jo reminds her of Marian. They both have an infectious positive energy. Maybe that’s why they hit it off from the onset.

“Sure. All you need is a stable internet connection and a laptop or a desktop if you have it. You can even earn with just your mobile phone. You need a lot of patience though, it’s not a high paying job.” She warned. Then added,  “and, you have to scale down on the time you spend on social media.”

“That’s all right. As long as I can have my own earnings to do as I will.” Jo said with a grin. “I can drop a few except t****k, or f*******:, or i********:, and maybe Twitter. Wait, I probably still need Pinterest.”

“Dang, Jo!” KC exclaimed. “That’s still a lot. You have to set aside a few hours of your time daily for it to work. I’ll send you some of the links for the ones I already tried, the ones that pay. I’d be happy to show you some of them in person if you want.” She offered.

“I guess you’re right. I’ll try. Can’t wait to earn! I’ve been wanting to buy a better phone so I could vlog.” Jo squealed excitedly. “Where do you live anyway?”

“Just a few minutes from here. I’m renting a small apartment.”

Jo’s eyes were wide with awe. “By yourself?”

She nodded. “Just a small one. I only wanted a place near here so I don’t have to worry about the commute too much. You know how horrible traffic can get. If worst comes to worst, I can walk. But I also didn’t want a roommate so I took the cheapest and smallest I could find.”

Her friend looked dreamy. “I wish I have my own place too. That way if I don’t do the dishes no one would yell at me.”

They both laughed but stopped abruptly as the door opened.

KC caught her breath, her mind going blank in shock.

There was a collective gasp from the female members of the class. A man who appeared to be in his 30s entered. He looked tired with dark circles under his deep-set eyes, looking like he hasn’t had a decent sleep in days. But this did not diminish his attractiveness. He is tall with a dark complexion as though he spent most of his time outdoors. His short-sleeved white polo had its top two buttons undone fitted his buff physique. The shirt was tucked in his dark gray slacks matched by a pair of black loafers. He carried a backpack in one of his shoulders carelessly giving him a boyish look. He has dark hair that was swept back away from his face. His strong jawline looked clean-shaven.

Their professor has finally decided to show up.

“Good morning class. My apologies, if I wasn’t here on Wednesday. I just had to take care of something.” The professor said with a distracted smile, barely glancing at any of them. He sat at his desk and took out a class register. “Right. So, let’s do a roll call to make sure that everyone here is supposed to be here. Please reply with ‘here’ if you’re present.” He began reading off names, marking the attendance sheet as each student replied. Not even looking up at the person who answered.

KC was frozen in her seat, her silent screams directed at the man in front of her. Unbidden, a torrent of memories flashed through her mind, each as vivid as though they happened yesterday. She wanted to run out of the room and never return. She wanted to hurt him and make him feel a fraction of what she feels right now. But another part of her wanted to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him. As she struggled to rein the conflicting emotions within, Steven was obliviously calling out names from a class register without so much as a glance.

“De Leon, Jane.” He called, eyes focused on his list.

KC wanted to cry, she can feel her eyes stinging, her heart is heavy as stone inside her chest. Why is he here? Why here of all places? Why now after all these years?  Her hands gripped the edge of her desk trying to hold herself together.

“Martinez, Joan?”

Jo responded without looking at him, her attention focused on KC. Her expression was torn between curiosity and concern.

“Mirasol, Keith?”

“Here.” Someone said from the back.

“Quintana, Rosel?”

“Here.”

“Rosario, John?”

“Here.”

 “Trinidad, Rose?”

No response. He repeated the name and made a note on his register when no one replied.

KC felt cold. She found herself transported back in time and felt the rain as it poured down on her. The wind lashed at her skin, numbing her. She can almost hear his voice as he uttered the words that shattered her heart into pieces, she closed her eyes trying to stem the flood of memories rushing through her mind. She looked down letting her hair hide her face. I can’t fall apart. Not here. Please.

“Tuazon, Anthony?”

“Here.”

The professor wrote on his register and moved on to the next name. He froze. He stared at it for at least five seconds. KC knew that he was looking at her name, she looked up at him, waiting. He swallowed hard and finally looked up. Somehow, his eyes already knew where to look. Their eyes met. It felt like an eternity. KC could not look away, she felt trapped. His expression was that of surprise and of something else she could not read.

 “Valderama, Kristine Cassandra.” It was just a whisper. She couldn’t reply.

“Valderama?” He asked again, after what seemed like hours. It might’ve been just seconds, she didn’t care. She still could not say a word. Their eyes remained locked together. KC felt like she’s falling into an endless pit.

He was the first to break the connection, he looked down on his list and asked, “absent?”

With a massive effort, KC said, “here.” It was just above a whisper but it was all she could manage. He heard it, of course. He marked his attendance sheet without further comment.

He finished with the roll call and was saying something but she couldn’t hear him. Her mind is blocking him out. No, I’ve worked too hard for this!

“Did I miss anyone? Is there anyone here that is not on my list?” He asked. When no one responded, he stood up and took out a board marker. He turned his back on them and wrote his name on the glass board. Professor Steven Alcantara, he wrote. He underlined it and wrote Introduction to Psychology below it. He then proceeded to write down the requirements to pass the subject and the title of the reference book they will use as well as additional ones he suggested they look up as further references. After that, he turned to them and told them to read the first chapter of the assigned book for the next meeting’s discussion.

“Oh, and please write an essay about your expectations on what you will learn in this subject and how you think you can apply it to your daily lives. Please use a short bond paper. To be handed first thing Monday.”

He dismissed the class with a “See you next week” before hurriedly gathering his things and leaving. The babble of talk erupted as soon as he’s out the door. Some were quite confused, while others were gleefully gathering their belongings. The class had been half an hour shorter than it should’ve been.

KC stared at his handwriting on the board, feeling numb. Oblivious to the attempts Jo was making to get her attention. The classroom steadily emptied, some of them were pausing to give her a sideways glance. She couldn’t focus on them at all. The gaping hole she tried to fill for almost a decade is threatening to burst open again, leaving a void bigger than the last. The world, her world that she worked so hard to rebuild is crumbling around her again. She couldn’t breathe. She struggled to focus on her breathing. It took a few minutes before she realized that Jo is standing beside her, finally able to do so since the classroom is once again empty apart from themselves. She gently placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Her friend asked gently.

“Y-yeah. I’m okay. I just… nothing.” She lied.

Jo didn’t look convinced and was about to say something about it but KC cut her off. “I have to go. See you next week.” With that, she turned and hurried out of the room leaving Jo confused and a little bit offended. She can’t help but think she left the same way he did.

No, don’t think about him, she told herself. She half ran, half walked out of the building. Once out in the sun, she paused. Unsure where to go or what to do.

It was as if the warmth of the day was mocking her. All she could hear was rain. And even now, she felt cold. She considered going home, feeling tired all of a sudden. She thought of completely dropping out. But then, she remembered all the graveyard shifts she had to endure to save enough money to be here. She thought of her plans for the future. He ruined her life once, will she let him do so again?

No, she thought firmly. I refuse to let him break me again. She steeled herself and headed for the registrar.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Valderama. The rest of the Introduction to Psychology classes are full. Most of them are block sections so I can’t add you or transfer you to any of them.”

KC was speaking to a kindly, middle-aged woman. She leaned at the window and opened her mouth to beg. “Are you sure there’s nothing else you can do? I mean, It’s just one student, just me…” she trailed off.

“The rest of the schedules has reached the maximum number of students. The schedule you are on right now was opened last minute to accommodate late enrollees such as yourself. It’s the only one where we can still add students. Is there a problem with it?” She asked kindly.

Her heart sank. She thought of begging some more, even getting angry. Instead, she sighed and said, “No. There’s no problem. Thank you for checking.” She turned to leave. What else can she do? To think that she was so eager to attend the class this morning. Did she dream of him because she would meet him again? Was it a premonition?

She found herself sitting alone at the cafeteria, her mind was spinning in confusion. KC buried her face in her hands in desperation.

Can I endure the next five months seeing him? Even interact with him? I would have to talk to him right? Why does this have to happen? After everything I’ve been through, this is so unfair. But deep within, she knew she has no choice. She’s going to have to suck it up and attend his classes. Maybe he’ll switch with other professors. Maybe he’ll resign, he’s good at leaving anyway. That’s probably one of his talents, leaving people hanging, she thought savagely. She decided she won’t talk in his class. She won’t answer any of his questions other than to confirm she’s present. She would submit all the requirements, pass all the exams, and not utter a single word in his presence. Then she remembered that part of the requirements to pass the subject is to participate in graded recitations. Hadn’t he outlined that it’s 10% of the final grade? She groaned again. I can still pass without that, can’t I? It’s just 10%. Logically, if I ace the rest of the requirements, I still get 90%. But even as she thought it, she knew she would not be satisfied with a 90% final grade, not for a major subject. Well, if it has something to do with the subject, then I can do that. I’m nothing if not professional. No emotions. I can do this, I’ll be fine.

The bell signaling the end of the period rang, making her jump. She glanced at her watch, she has to get to her next class. With a resigned sigh, she got up longing to skip the rest of her subjects today then remembered how much she paid for them. She couldn’t afford to.