A Second Chance with You

Chapter 9

Her thoughts were occupied with the budget on food as she headed to her Philippine History class the next morning. She hoped she has the energy to just prepare her lunch and avoid spending anything at the cafeteria, then she remembered that the last time she ate was at 8 pm last night and doubted that she can hold off feeding herself until past noon.

A sandwich will have to do then. It wouldn’t be smart to get sick trying to save a few bucks, she thought as she headed for the stairs.

Thinking she should come up with a healthier eating habit now that she has to use her brain for a lot of memorization again. A trip to the grocery to stock up on snacks that she can easily carry seems to be in order. Nuts and crackers to keep in her school bag to avoid starving herself before mealtimes. Marian loves to buy those, maybe she’d ask for some. Almonds and cashews can be pricey. The thought of calling her friend made her wince, her stony silence proving she’s still upset with KC. She ought to call Marian later and apologize properly or maybe she’d drop by her place tomorrow instead. Her best friend wouldn’t be able to resist an offer of a sleepover. But that would mean a whole night of not being able to earn.

“I hope I don’t get too much homework so I can work more.” She muttered to herself as she climbed the stairs. “Whew!” She said as she reached the third-floor landing. “Free cardio.” She wiped her forehead with her hanky.

“You still talk to yourself when you’re thinking.” Said a voice that made her jump. She turned to see Steven standing behind her.

Why are you always behind me? Are you stalking me?  Her muddled thoughts were making it impossible to respond.

He doesn’t seem to be waiting for one though. “What’s your first class today?” He asked in apparent interest.

She hesitated, does she need to answer that? “Philippine History.” She replied stiffly. Then added pointedly, “It starts at 7 am.”

His expression remained pleasant. “I see. Have a great day, then.”

“Thanks, sir.” She replied and headed to her classroom. She grabbed the door handle and glanced back. He’s still standing where she left him, watching her. What do you want, Steven? She wanted to shout at him. Instead, she went inside the classroom and closed the door.

The next period was spent with her gaze fixed blankly on the board, not absorbing anything Professor Defensor was saying. She was glad that she did advance reading so she was able to respond when she was called to answer a question but she went back to her deadpan stare at the board afterward. When the bell rang, she got up and had to pause to get her bearings back. The encounter with Steven still had her feeling confused. This is the second time he was in the same place. It can’t be a coincidence, is it? Then there was that time when he was watching her from the third-floor balcony of CS building. If this was one of those cheesy movies, she could’ve sworn Steven took the time to know her schedule. But that’s absurd, why would he?

She can’t keep reacting this way, she’ll fail all her subjects if she did. Irritated, she headed for her next class. The Zoology lab is cold and smelled of disinfectant as always. She hoped there was a way to avoid this class, but knew it was hopeless. Her stomach tightened at the thought of dissecting anything, she was not looking forward to that. Today was just a lecture though, which was lucky. She was barely able to keep up. Seeing Steven again seemed to have triggered her memories, the good and the bad. Mostly the good, she finds herself thinking back on the times she spent with him. The endless conversations about their future together. Of the many strolls they took after work, the coffee he’d bring every morning just for her. She can still hear the words he said that made her feel warm inside, believing in true love, and then the few words that negated all of it. In surrender, she let her mind replay those memories. It was tiring to keep fighting it. The next thing she knew, she’s hearing the bell signaling the end of her last class for the day. She even forgot to eat.

The fact that he seemed to be going out of his way to try and talk to her anger her. Not only does it confuse her, but it also ignites the embers of hope she’d thought had long since been doused. Her mind has been going over possibilities, afraid of where this could lead but excited just the same. What if there’s a chance for them, a second chance? What if he realized he did love her and he’s working on the courage to tell her? Can she let him? He may be a college professor and she, a student but they are both of age. She wanted to deny that she wants him back but she knew deep down that she never stopped loving him. And now, he’s here. Is it folly to wish for the happiness that has eluded her for almost a decade, even if it’s from the same man who took away that happiness?

She didn’t realize that she’s already out on the grounds until a car horn brought her back to reality. “This is no longer healthy.” She told herself quietly, heading towards the train station.

With a tired sigh, she glanced back at the building she just exited and reminded herself that she worked too hard to get here only to be this distracted. Standing by the entrance, his expression that of a conflicted man, was Steven. His expression softened as soon as their eyes met, a sad smile on his lips. And her heart, dormant for a long time, began to race in response. She didn’t smile back. She turned her back on him and headed home. Afraid that if he kept showing up like this, she wouldn’t be able to resist any longer.