poems

It Happens

I sit and wonder why I am such a fool

because around they see me as a stepping stool

To not care everyday

too I do not even look your way

Fake smiles and Fake friends

always has a very sweet end

I desire to embrace love show kindness

because this world right now is so damn heartless

I inhale a lot of my mistakes

to just to exhale without any brakes

As I depart from this crazy place

i will finally go at my own pace

Carrying fear will only weaken your soul

you do everything in you not to become very cold

Able to accept my downfall

because I know how it feels to be against the wall

Letting go of this behavior and tantrums

I can finally can be with the nerds and the bums

Saying goodbye does not have to be sad

you should be happy and glad

My Thoughts

I do not get mad I get even

Sometimes in this messed up world

We have choice for what I do not know?

You try and try to try and try to make me believe something that never happened I ask myself how low do you think I feel when in reality it's you making yourself look/feel stupid and can not accept reality of what just happened and you pleading to yourself that what you say is the truth

I laugh and laugh my motherfucken ass off to what goes on around and it gives me that utter feeling of joy because I knew all along that they were fake only coming around to disturb my peace and try to mess with my sanity but since ima Gemini very hard for them to play me I'd already played them before they tried to play me,

In life I've haven't learned my lessons because I'm still mess up and just living life because until The Creator comes and returns me to my spot then I will be judged then and there I will not be afraid and accept my punishment here and there and forever until I find my peace with The Creator Because i am a whole hearted sinner on this corrupted place we call Earth

Like someone told me one day "DO NOT EVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN AND CANNOT DO?"

I want to get away from this place I want to win this race of my life that I have to face I know I will find my peace with grace in a world were I am forced to live and bare my soul to someone I do not even fucken know, and it becomes too much for me to spare, it's so many tears I cried that no one saw or even fucken cared, so I hide myself from everyone one because I am too fucken scared to show this pain that I carry here, there & everywhere, these shackles with a metal ball, that will not hold my fall as I am being pulled down to the abyss's wall,

Hours have passed by without me even noticing at all, I must of hit my head very hard to not even see that it read 11th O'clock, on my watch, I remember it read 7 o'clock I've either lost 4 hours or 28, scary,crazy&hazy! My thoughts are somewhere between WTF & OMG and everything around me has me saying IDK & IDC to make me want to scream GTFOH!

Why I can not understand the difficulty of things for

1. Am I causing my own demise? For

2. Am I a product of "s**t Happens to Good People" BS? And for

3. Doomed from Creation!!

See I do not get it I can almost recount how many good things have came my way without leaving when it was too hard. ME! That's how many times good things have came my way.

Please 🚫 cover nor 🛑 someone's ✨ for they are 🎁 in our 🌎

My words are not being heard

They twirl and twirl around like herd,

Painfully unable to express what I have to say m

Because it's going to come out either way!

Wow, let's start with two dae, beautiful 2, my thought$ are driving me to jump off a building or bridge, I feel like my rope is becoming like thread so thin , asking why is my s**t so loose, did I not tie it right, am I going insane on sight, weird visions cross my mind that I do not know if I want to go commit a crime but then I hear the 5-0 with their sirens, trying to make sure they didn't hear nor see me keeping my ass away from the scene, can you believe I didn't even get seen! Hiding under cars and behind tree's and bushes, making sure they can't see me, I get indoors under the floors, away from the stores where I could have been seen, but so fresh and so clean, nobody does it like me,

They tell me to pray to a man upstairs and I remind them that that's not fair, because when I go seeking for him I do not see no one there, keeping the little bit of hope that I have when I should've had a lot more, facing reality starts to become so strange to me, and I do not consider myself a victim but when your digging your own hole it's pretty harsh not to jump in it at all and say I am that person that fell on that ugly cold day my body not even thawed out and everyone who was fake began to cry because they do not have a victim in their life to destroy again,

While I am at peace I surrender myself to the Light so bright I stand out because I know that I do shine, excitement and joy fullfil my soul because when I was on earth I was so dead and cold

Warmth and utterly precious everyone here is so damn freshness and gorgeous I am a speed of light I am here I am there and I am everywhere so don't be scared when death shows up so naturally calm like when we all have to pay taxes, hiding the truth of what we are and who we become when we are gone, no one knows our life matters as an individual we have the right not to be around with people who don't deserve your energy let alone your company they will suck the life right out of you and leave you lonely and blue that is something I am not going to do.

Fuck my life right now I seemed to have forgotten to charge my phone before I left to work now I feel like a complete jerk, instead of trying to warm yourself because you have to walk there damnit how i am a dumb i***t, I should have stayed in school and learned some rules because in this simulation everything is so damn weird that I don't understand why things aren't in a formulation to this situation that starts Wars on,

Nations against Other Nations, Borders against Other Borders, Races against Other Races, what are we still in the fucken 50's, 60's & 70's? From Generations to Generations the War against Humanity has flown right passed the Statue of Liberty's Crown, She is disappointed that she was a gift to the United States and this nation failed her so badly

Government experiments have been done on us so many many years ago, and what happens they disappear to where no one else should ever go, no where there missed no where they see that what seems to be inside of you has entered into me so to the dark abyss I go where i never see anyone here anymore

There comes a TIME when everything that was TAUGHT to you and everything you've LEARNED in life has came out to be just PURE bullshit, the MORAL we are taught are FULL of s**t, and NOT in ORDER, to SEE things COME to light are DIFFICULT for one to see if BLIND to the eyes of the CORRUPTED and MALICE people behind corruption TWIST are strongly DEMANDED to live in a WORLD that is a DOG EAT DOG world and we are here only to SAVE oneself and not OTHERS

I am suffocating unable to catch my breath it's tighten up sec by sec and by a min ima be dead, all of a sudden I feel a gush of air filling my lungs without me breathing and barely catching my breath, to realize I should've just stopped resisting and left from here to a better place where there is no pain no sadness pure joy and happiness, I escape the madness this world has bestowed upon us, that we have no choice but to repent for our sins, duh, I see all kinds of little balls of cushions and pins, I'm looking for anyway out of this nightmare that I do not think there is anymore flares that use to scare me so I leap into a darkness and grey atmosphere and as loud that I am yelling and screaming no one seems to care let alone hear but an old lady whispering "O' My Dear".....