Married To An Assassin

Six months later...

I read the text millions of times. Even six months later I still can't believe the guy I thought I'd marry left me without even sending a text. A guy I dated for 4 years. I look at the text again.

You were the other girl. Leave my husband alone.

I think to myself, don't worry sweetheart I planned to do just that as soon as I saw the wedding photos.

I don't think I'd marry a guy knowing he cheated on me for 4 years. They got married that weekend like that lady said. I wanted answers when he didn't reply to my texts and emails. I logged in on f******k, Twitter and ** only to find he blocked me. When I didn't see his posts I thought he's busy with exams. Only to realise weeks later that he blocked me. But I managed to find Lettie, his wife on ** when I saved her digits. They look so good together. Most of the comments were about how far they have come together and wishing them many more years to come.

Going through her wall made me see why he would choose her over me. She's beautiful while I'm plain. She's thin while I'm a little chubby. She's a graduate while I had to quit Varsity. She comes from a wealthy family. While I'm not dirt poor, I feel like it when I see the house she grew up in, the car she drives. For their honeymoon they went to Paris, the same country we planned on visiting for our honeymoon. He took another girl there. I couldn't believe it when I saw it. I felt so hurt and betrayed. But life goes on.

So I decided to delete her digits and vow not to stalk her again on **. It makes me mad and hurt all over again.

I've been spending a lot of time helping my brothers study for their mid-year exams. So I head to bed at 2am. When I walk into my room the first thing I see are the flowers that were delivered hours ago, on one of the bedside table. I don't even know what kind of flowers they are. I only know one kind, roses. But these aren't roses. Roses aren't yellow. They make me think of him.

Oh no, not Themba. There's this Zizwe guy who has been asking me out for a date for some time now. I'm not playing hard to get. I really don't want to go out with him. There's something powerful about that guy. And he's way out of my league. He's more of Lettie's type. They are in the same league. They both come from wealthy families. I can't help but compare myself to her.

My 16-year-old brother, Cairo keeps telling me not to do this to myself and say yes to the guy already. He keeps telling me the same thing, "Stop punishing him for what Themba did." Sometimes my little brother can sound old for his age.

Maybe it's about time I listen to my annoying brother. I just sent him one word, yes. I don't care that I might disturb his sleep. Or he claims that he doesn't have my digits. How can he know my address and not have my digits? That's strange.

He replies back as if he's been waiting for my text. A girl can dream right?

Finally she says yes.

You make it sound like you asked me to marry you.

I will and I know you won't take this long to say yes.

Urg go to sleep.

Sweet dreams sweetheart.

Don't call me that.

Okay future Mrs. Me

I laugh at his bold reply. This guy is arrogant. How could he be thinking about me saying yes to his marriage proposal when we haven't even gone out.

Good night.

I wanted to say something witty but I came up blank. This is not me to be honest. I'm not bold enough to think of something along those lines.