Her Savior. His Princess.

My Fear

It hurt so bad. The moonlight through the window made him even scarier than he normally was. Jason towered over me, a bottle of Sake in his hand. Sake is his weakness. It gets him extra drunk and way more violent. I scream when he grabs my hair, pulling me to my feet and slamming me against a wall. Jason clasps a large hand over my mouth, likely to silence me and not wake the others.

He presses my back against the wall, tears are streaming down my cheeks. "No... P-Please... Stop..." My voice is weak and small. Unfortunately, even that amount of trying to speak out only earns me another slap. I'm sobbing but I don't say anything else. He holds me against the wall and I can't do anything, my arms pinned on either side of my head, I can already feel the weak bones bruising and nearly breaking. He drops his bottle of Sake in the process, growling. 

His eyes flash with anger as he looks down at me. “Damn you, stupid b***h. Look at what you made me do… That was my last bottle!” he looks so mad, fear causes me to shake, my breath coming out in pants. I’m so scared. I don’t want this to happen. But I know I can’t stop it.

Jason moves his hand up and down my sides roughly, causing me to shiver. Not a good shiver either. But the kind of shiver that makes my body temperature drop several degrees. I want to push him away then his hand finds its way under my skirt. What I feel definitely isn’t pleasure but my body reacts automatically. 

I want to make him at least happy now. Then maybe it won’t hurt as bad? I force myself to make what I assume was a good enough of a moan sound. I’ve really never done anything like this so I hardly even know what it means to ‘pleasure someone’. I’m probably majorly naive to think that he might not hurt me too much if he’s satisfied enough.

He had never gone this far and I'm terrified. People say it feels good but I still hear the few others that say it hurts like hell your first time. I want to shove him, grab the glass and maybe stab the s**t out of him. But I still don't. I have no doubt he would kill me if I tried.

I woke up the next morning in a cold sweat. For a moment I thought that he hadn't actually done that last night. That it was all just a horrible nightmare. But then I saw myself in the mirror. I was naked, but my body was covered in new bruises and my hair was messier than normal. Shaking, I stood up and went to shower, hoping I could wash away the gross feeling that covered my whole body.

I sat at the bottom of the shower, the warm water washing over me. I didn't care though, I pulled my knees to my chest and cried. I cried and cried and cried until the water was so cold it threatened to freeze my small body. When that happened, I stood, quickly washed my hair and got out of the shower. I wrapped a towel around my thin shivering figure and went back to my room.

Barely ten minutes later and I've gotten dressed. Just in time for Jason to call me down to his office. I'm shaking the whole way there and I don't go in. Instead I stop at the doorway. He is sitting in complete darkness and I shiver when I feel his cold eyes on me.

But he doesn't even acknowledge what he did last night. Instead he stares for what feels like forever before finally speaking. "I need you to go to the market." My eyes light up at his request and I nod. "Gia will give you the list of things to get on your way out." I take that as my cue to leave, so I dart back up to my room.

I change fast, putting on a light pink tank top with an even lighter pink see through shirt on top. Then I changed into skinny jeans, put on my beat up pink flats. In my head I would have looked like a goddess... But when I looked in the mirror I frowned. My tank top had a hole in the side so one of my bad scars was showing, the see through shirt had several holes and mud spots, and the jeans were torn in all the wrong ways.

My shoulders droop as I grab the one good piece of clothing I have, a medieval silver cloak. I sling it elegantly over my shoulders. It helps to cover many of my scars, more so when I pull the hood up and over my face as much as possible. No one wants to see that. Pain. Sadness. Fear. I’d rather save them all from the sight.

It is random that I have this cloak, it’s the last and only thing I’ve ever had from my past. The old Alpha said I was dropped off here wrapped in it. I’m amazed it was never taken from me. Though Truman was always nice to me, if he had known what his son did back then or what he does now, he’d be infuriated. The pack wasn’t always like this. Yes, Jason always hated me, but it’s not like everyone did. 

To be honest, I don’t really know what happened… After Truman died, everyone suddenly hated me. It’s like they blamed me but I don’t know why… I mean, it’s all a blur. So why do I feel like they are still blaming me?

I guess I really wouldn’t be surprised if it was somehow my fault… That’s a lie. I would be shocked. I adored Truman as if he was my own father, it’s not like I would have tried to hurt him! But they still hate me. Goddamn it. Why?! I want to know why! Yet I never get an answer.