Walking on the eggshells

2

Mason

Sky was a kind of a person that clung. I'm not even exaggerating, like some who have a bad habit of exaggerating a person or a thing to a point when it just becomes intolerable. I wasn't doing it. She clung to me in the worst way possible. She had my number, she knew my social media handles and even my house!

As Luther made another sub I brought in the peri peri chicken and put it in the steel container. I didn't know why he was leaving. I actually had to request the manager not to pair me with Sky. She was a great girl, boys liked her, they did. There was this one time a guy left his number for her precisely telling Luther to hand it to her when she came.

But she just wouldn't leave me alone. That was my problem with her. Even after telling her for I don't know a billion times she thinks I'm a tease for not taking her signals. Someone really needs to tell her a no means a no is a no. How hard was it? I played for a totally different genital! I wasn't teasing. Usually on Monday's her shift is after mine, so she makes sure she meets me before I go. For that reason I have to hide on the back of the store and leave after she gets to work.

I came back from the kitchen with the pickles, Luther pulled out his gloves and threw it in the dustbin below, it was over for me. I thought. I emptied the pickles and kept the jar on the counter. The joint was empty, it was a stark afternoon and at that time we hardly had any customers. I saw Sky's bike parked outside the joint, she pulled the helmet hanging it on the rear mirror. Luther smirked at my expressions.

"She's a nice girl and I'm pretty sure you're single. It's just one date man..she won't kill you." He patted my back. My eyes were stuck on her, it wasn't adoration, it was the fear. I heard Luther move behind me. Yeah of course she wouldn't kill me, that would be a quick death. Rather she would slowly torture me, torment me for the rest of peaceful days.

The reason I was here and not some other joint is that it pays well, it's near my house and there is usually a mild crowd in the joint. I had to tolerate her. She was a great friend before, welcoming and warm.

I watched with an amused face as she pulled the gum from her mouth and stuck it on the pole of the streetlight. She was fiery and bold. I had to give her that. Luther called my name breaking my trance.

"I'm off, are you sure you'll be okay?" He bit the corner of his lips, that bastard was playing me.

"I will survive hopefully, it's just three hours more anyways." I shrugged.

"Okay then, see you tomorrow." He curled his fingers in a fist and gave me a bump. I scoffed at him.

"Why are you leaving before time?" I couldn't help but ask, he had his backpack in his hand, he pulled out his headphones and his phone.

"I have to take my mother to a book club across the town, my grandmother was very fond of that place, and now that she's no more….my mother wants to pay respects." He said, his voice small and sad.

"Here she comes." I mumbled under my breath. Sky pushed the door open, walking inside. Her eyes lit up noticing Luther standing across me.

"You!" She threw herself at him, chuckling he held her until she patted his back to put her down. Sky met my eyes, she winked at me. I smiled nervously. It's only three hours more, I told myself.

"I'm seriously off." Luther rolled his eyes, he glanced at me, walking out of the door.

I went in the kitchen to see if the Italian herb and cheese bread I kept in the oven was ready. Thankfully one employee was needed to attend the counter, so I let her be as I escaped in the kitchen, sighing in relief. Sky was moving behind the counter, she was chatting with the customer and making them laugh.

The oven beeped finally, I wore the oven mitt in my hands and pulled the tray out. Sky knocked on the door before pushing it open,

"Mason, rotisserie chicken and marinara sauce is needed outside." She raised her brow, I nodded. Filling a plastic container with the sauce and chicken I came out to see three guys of my age on the other side of the counter, ordering. I filled the containers and pointed to Sky, she smiled at me, nodding.

Back in the kitchen I checked which bread were to be dashed in the oven to bake, honey sesame seeds and white bread were less, so I kept the already prepared dough in the oven to bake. A moment later I came out of the kitchen and saw everyone had dispersed. Sky was sitting on the stool that was at the cashier's counter, reading a book.

She was quiet, I didn't understand. Walking towards her I pulled the book that she was holding upside down, why was she hiding her face I didn't understand. Pulling it from her hands, I saw a crying Sky. She gasped in shock as she understood what I did. Sky hid her teary face in her hand.

"Why bother with that Sky, I already saw your face." I rolled my eyes, sighing when she didn't answer me with a sarcastic comment I bent down to pull her hands away from her face. Sky was not only bold and fiery she was also very strong, it was a hard task to pull her hand away.

"Sky! You're strong...ugh.." I groaned, trying again as she pushed my hand right in my face, I fell back losing balance.

"Oh God Sky, I was trying to help." Groaning in pain I dabbed my nose, it hurt bad. Sky clicked her tongue, she got down from the stool she was sitting on, examining my face.

"It's nothing major, just wipe your nose." She sniffled.

"Why are you crying though?" I searched her eyes.

"Doesn't matter." She smiled. Before I could open my mouth to ask her further, the bell chimed above the door indicating someone walked inside the store.

"Hello. Good afternoon, welcome to Subway. How may I help you?" Sky got up, the woman ordered a chicken teriyaki sub, the way she was asking for the particular sauce was impressive.

Sky didn't tell me anything, she handled the customers until I got out of the washroom with some tissues in my hand. I really had to do something to make my eyes and nose stop watering at the least contact. It was beyond embarrassing.

I was making subs and managing the cashier's counter and Sky was back inside the kitchen, writing the sale. It was already six in the evening and my shift had just ended. I pulled my apron out just as Ralph walked inside the store.

"Hey man." He shook my hand, giving me a side hug just as our hands trapped between us.

"Did she give you a hard time?" Ralph asked, referring to Sky.

"Fortunately no! She was crying. Ask her what's wrong and don't take my name, she will char me." I patted his back, leaving a laughing Ralph I walked out of the store and got in my car.

I threw my bag on on the passenger's seat and drove towards my home, it had started to get dark and I had to go to the stupid party. Alex was coming home too.

Sometimes I thought as to why I even let these things bother me, the melancholy never left me. Dad asked me to talk to a counsellor or a psychologist because he was tired of seeing me in this state. I had no answer to that. What I felt for Alex and other random things was something I couldn't wrap it in enough words. It was something that could only be felt, I couldn't tell it even at a gunpoint. Unfortunately I had no such superpower that allowed others to feel what I was feeling.

Or else I would've been living a happy life with Alex or maybe without him, because he would've been the first person I had confessed my feelings for. I sighed yet again, slamming the door shut of my car I climbed the steps that led to the main door of my house.

Dad's car wasn't there in front of the door, I wondered where he had been. Dad was unaware that I wasn't gonna join him for dinner and I completely forgot to tell him after school. Opening the door I headed to the kitchen where dad and I usually stuck notes on the fridge if either of us had gone out unannounced. The refrigerator door was empty, I could only see some fancy magnets.

I went up to my room and switched the lights on, a scream of pure fear escaped me, turning around I hid my face in my hands, I felt the person's footsteps behind me and then their hand engulfed my back pulling me to them.

"Mason it's me." Alex chuckled from behind. Swallowing what I thought was my heart from my mouth I stood straight to look at him.

"I could've died!" I hit his chest, he chuckled more, pulling me inside the room again and closing the door.

"What are you doing?" I grew alarmed, my eyes widened and my finger pointed at the closed door. I was quite agitated around him. Alex frowned, turning his face he looked at the closed door..

"What, I just casually closed it, do you want it open?" He asked.

"Leave it that way." Turning around as I pulled my black t-shirt, throwing it in the laundry bag. My chest was throbbing, I rubbed my chest with my palm. Feeling the bed on behind my knees I fell down on the bed, I tried to forget the fact that Alex was standing away from me, before time.

The fact that I couldn't just ignore Alex like I would have if he weren't my best friend bothered me, played tricks with me and made it extremely hard for me to move on. Usually when you're trying to get over a person you maintain a safe distance from them, you don't think about them as much as you did before, but in my case it looked like God wanted me to get punished for loving Alex. Literally.

People get over their partners or someone who they're in love with but can't have them, for example me. In very different ways. As far as my knowledge goes I know three ways,

First is very simple, the couple understand as to why they can't be together and the circumstances by which they can't be together, further they separate their ways and move on.

Second are those who play the blame game. These are honestly the worst. These kinds of people blame the circumstances, the person they loved and the innocent dog strolling down the street. Also the most stupid and random things, they won't accept the fact that it's over. Even if they do, they try and put the baggage on others.

Lastly, there are those who live in a personal bubble. The bubble of delusion. Even after the other person leaves, they try to win them back and try to twist the situation in their favor. They try to act normal, like nothing ever happened, the heartbreak never happened. Which is wrong.

Emotions are an inevitable truth of a human life, even animals. You can't just put all your emotions in a box of void and hide it away, even if you do once the guilt or sorrow hits you the box of void opens up with much more force and the emotions that you didn't want to feel hits you like a freight train and that honestly is the worst. You don't understand how to deal with it, precisely because you haven't felt those emotions in a long while and it comes all together.

You feel like breaking down even looking at a dog, you feel the guilt even if it's not your fault, you get provoked easily and without much friction, you laugh at a joke that no one in your group finds it funny. That's mental exhaustion. It sometimes gets better when you shout for a cry of help or you try to feel it for all it's worth and move on. But it's very difficult to control the emotions, and it needs patience. I know it's hard, but when you master it, it's a relief.

Coming back, I don't think that I belong to those three kinds, maybe I'm the fourth kind. I want to get over Alex, the melancholy I feel isn't great and I'm starting to feel exhausted. So if I have a path or maybe a guide who is willing to walk the path with me then I'm all for it.

I splattered water on my face, seeing the face wash, wash down. Things were too sad for me. Sighing as I walked out to see Alex going through my books on the nightstand. There was my diary sitting below my other book.

"Alex wait!" I hastily stopped him, he hummed looking back,

"Yeah?"

"Uh..what..what time is the party again?" I cleared my throat.

"It starts at seven, and it's already seven thirty." He shrugged.

I didn't answer him back, instead I casually walked near him and pulled the book and my diary, widening my eyes as though I was relieved to see it.

"Where did you find this? God I was so worried that I lost it." I exhaled, turning around as I took quick steps and dumped the two books in my hand, inside my backpack.

Since things started to get more and more vivid I became an exceptional and an adequate liar. Everytime Alex caught my lies I made sure I didn't repeat the mistake again. I lied because it was an easy canal, explaining as to why I have red eyes and eyes full of tears even though we weren't watching anything emotional was bothersome for both me and Alex.

Wiping my face with the towel I threw it on the bed beside Alex, I saw Alex's backpack filled with some clothes, I was confused.

"Why did you bring clothes?" I asked, proceeding to the closet for some clothes to wear at the party.

"No one is at home, I was wondering if I could stay the night." He chewed on his bottom lip. Jesus.

"Uh..sure." I nodded. Wearing the grey shirt I rolled up the sleeves and pulled on my black jeans.

Later we both left the house, I wrote a note for dad who still wasn't back home, saying Alex and I were going to a party and he will be staying the night. Getting inside my red mustang I drove towards Byers's house. She really did throw crazy parties. Her parties were like an open storage to all kinds of drugs and alcohol.

Martin was the second person in the senior year who threw crazy parties, his dad wasn't that around, neither was his mother. His childhood was passed with the nannies and household around, when we all came as a group we could see how uncomfortable he got when asked about his parents. Over a period of time we just came to the terms and never brought his parents up.

He really was a nice person. All the girls he flirted and slept with didn't really leave dark spots on his character. It was his personality and he was living his life. When there were tests and exams he made sure he studied and gave his best. Martin didn't like the idea of his father involving himself at any meetings in school. But he was the strongest.

"Mason, I have no idea what is the matter but I can see something is hurting you. I know you're strong but it's okay if you feel you're drained and can't take it anymore, you can let it out and man when you do I swear I'll comfort you." Alex pulled me out of my trance, I listened to him quietly.

"Okay."

"Who is hurting you?" He inquired.

You. You're hurting me. Your sole presence is enough to crush my whole being and my already weak willpower of getting over you. But at the same time I don't want you out of my sight, my heart leaps thinking something might go wrong with you, my love and desire for you has put me in a place from where I can only and only see you. Every morning I go through a series of headaches. When I cry the hurt doesn't fade or numb no. It only gives me headaches now, yet I can't come to a decision of not loving you anymore. How f****d up is that Alex?

"Mason?" Alex called, blinking once I glanced at him, raising my brow.

"We drove past Byers's house, see…" he pointed with his thumb.

"Sorry." I clicked my tongue, turned the car around and found a parking space, Alex and I both got out of the car.

"C'mon!" The desperation to sound enthusiastic for a stupid party I didn't even want to come in the first place sounded pathetic.

"You didn't answer me." He mumbled, his voice low. I could hear the music blasting through the speakers and people screaming, having a good time.

"I'm just tired, I'm sure I will be okay tomorrow.." pressing my lips tightly I smiled.

If only that was true, I thought. Following Alex like a lost puppy. Literally.

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