Darkly and Eternally Yours

Chapter 7

I slammed the paper coffee cup mistakenly all over the coffee machine, the hot sugary brown liquid splattering everywhere, "Damn it." I muttered in vexation under my breath. "Hey Kiara, you alright there?" My coworker, Dylan walked over from the other side of the counter, eyebrows furrowed in concern. "I'm fine," I replied taking a washcloth from the sink and began frantically wiping the mess. "You seem distracted, wanna take a break?" He asked, crouching down to help me clean the floor. "No really, I'm fine. Just a little flustered." I smiled nervously. "Rough night?" He asked. I smiled at the memory, "You have no idea." I said, a blush creeping up on my cheeks.

Adrian and I ended up staying at the library the whole night, surprisingly the woman on the counter, not Simmy anymore because she left at some point, didn't seem to mind at all about the fact that we had a sleepover in the library. She just greeted us morning, gave us a warm smile, took the keys and cards from us and told us to come again. Adrian gave me a lift at my house, giving me a sweet kiss as goodbye and now here I was at work.

It was a pretty slow-moving day in the coffee shop, no grumpy demanding customers, but I was still somehow messing things up royally. I felt great sympathy for Dylan, he was being so patient and kind with my disastrous catastrophes. It was obviously no secret that my mind was preoccupied still buried deep in last night. "You have any plans after this? Since your shift ends in about an hour." Dylan asked pouring creamer in a customer's coffee. "Um, I'm just gonna stay at home today, and try to cram in all the chapters in literature, that I've missed the whole week." I replied with a shrug. I felt like I hadn't been studying in ages and I was way far behind. I had a headache just thinking about all the notes I had to go through before this weekend ended. "Why? Not been attending classes this week? Partying? You don't look like you party much. Is it the same thing that's distracting you from work?" He asked his voice light and playful. "I've been showing up to classes alright, but I haven't been studying at home at all." I answered, dodging the last question which made Dylan give me a knowing look followed by a smirk.

An hour later, I drove back home and showered fresh and clean before sitting down on my desk to perform my intended action; studying. I tied my wet hair into a bun, although I knew it was wrong something that my Aunt Maya would have frowned upon, but I was too tired to deal with my hair. I wasted no time and busied myself with all the notes and chapters I was supposed to study. My mind was centralized directly on my studying, when unexpectedly I heard the doorbell ring. Great, just when I was about to study, I thought to myself as I got up with a huff. I wondered about who it was, unlocking the door and I met the most unpredictable scene ever. There was Adrian, standing with his hand frozen in motion, like he was about to ring the doorbell again.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked, stunned at his arrival "I uhh... Just wanted to check on you, we haven't talked much." He said aspiring his best to look laid back. "We just saw each other this morning." I smiled, raising an eyebrow at him. "That was a long time ago." He motioned his hand in a dismissed manner, smiling at me. "You wanna come in?" I asked, opening the door wider. "If I'm not bothering you, sure." He replied walking in. Oh, your presence is anything but bothersome, I thought to myself. He was wearing a long heavy brown coat with dark washed jeans, he looked handsome. "It's pretty cold outside," I remarked helping him take off his coat. "Yeah, it's nice though, I like cold." He said, taking a seat on my couch.

"Do you want tea, coffee, soda anything?" I asked.

"No, I'm fine , sit down." He said a hint of smile on his lips.

Why was I standing like a dumb snowman? I sat down on the couch opposite him and I was suddenly very aware of what I was wearing. I felt self-conscious with Adrian over there, looking like a model and me over here, wearing a huge t shirt with a hole in my sleeve, clearly I was dressed for comfort. Not to mention my hair was wet, I probably looked like a drowned rat. "Umm... Let me just go and change, I wasn't expecting company." I fidgeted nervously with the edge of my t shirt. "You don't need to dress up on my account, I kind of like you the way you are." He smiled, " I mean if you're okay with it." He backed himself up. "Umm... okay." I smiled.

"You wanna take a tour around my house? I don't think you've really seen it." I asked, standing up.

"Sure."

We roamed around the house, Adrian inspected pictures of me and my friends, amazed. He picked up a picture from the shelf, "You guys seem very happy." He commented, it was a picture of me and my friends in the beach. "Yeah, it was our summer vacation." I replied, smiling as I recalled the joyful trip. "Friends make you happy." He said, more to himself than to me. He looked like he had drifted away, his mind far away from this room. "Everyone's friends make them happy, that's why they're friends." I said, studying his expression. "I don't remember what having a friend was even like." He smiled darkly, keeping the frame back in the shelf. "Don't you have friends?" I asked curiously. "No, I don't." He said in a tone that made it clear that he did not want to talk about it.

I showed him my kitchen, the porch, the guest room and lastly my bedroom, which he obviously knew and it made him smirk. He seemed to be astounded by everything, every little details, pictures, random magazines lying around, cooking pans, board games, walls, everything. It was tremendously enjoyable and satisfying to show him around, he seemed to be genuinely interested in everything, he was absorbing everything in.

We were walking out of the hallway, concluding our house tour, when he suddenly halted in his tracks. He was staring at a picture of me and my father, back when I was little, about four years old. Adrian's expression was perplexed like he was trying to figure something out. In the picture, me and my dad had a tradition of waking up every morning and have him read the newspaper to me. He would place me on his lap recite the stories, solve the quizzes that I would find interesting. In this picture, I was laughing on his lap, innocent and carefree and my Dad was smiling, looking at me with nothing but love. The memory made my eyes burn , my heart felt like it was being squeezed physically by pain. My throat was raw and tight, "That was my Dad." I said, my voice barely over a whisper, as I reached out to trace the picture.

Adrian looked petrified as he lifted a hand to trace the picture too. "He passed away." He muttered, it wasn't a question or a remark. It was just a statement, spoken simply. I painfully swallowed all my overwhelming emotions inside and gently pushed Adrian, trying to tell him let's go. But he was frozen in place, his body stiff with the look of terror still in his face. "I am so sorry." He said, each of the words in that sentence sounded like they carried a heavy weight, his voice sounded broken, intensely meshed with emotions.

I was abundantly muddled at his reaction. Yes, people were apologetic and sympathetic when they hear about my father's death but Adrian looked absolutely heartbroken. I didn't like this expression painted on his face at all, I wanted to wipe it off, plant it in someone else's face, but not his. He looked haunted, his demeanor erupted terror and misery. "Adrian let's go." I tugged him again, but he still refused. "Kiara, I'm really... I have to go." He said, his voice devoid of emotion, unlike earlier, when he was basically submerged knee deep in emotions.

He finally faced me, but his eyes didn't meet mine, like he couldn't, as if he was too afraid to look at me in the eye. His composure looked defeated, like he was fighting a battle and he lost. He looked crushed. "Why?" I asked, my voice soft and fragile. I didn't want him to go, I hated to think of him leaving, I was falling for him. More so, I was bewildered ,my heart was frantically thumping against my chest. I didn't even know what was happening. "I'm so sorry." He said one final time, before he walked away as fast as he could without running, like I was an infectious virus he didn't want to be around.

I heard the door close and that was all it took to make my heart break. Not once did he look me in the eye. One more boy who left me like I was nothing. I couldn't detain my tears anymore. For once, I had felt something different, something real, but he closed the door to his heart on my face, just like everyone else. What was even worse was that I had no idea what just happened. I felt like the whole universe was closing in at me, swallowing me up in it's miseries. Maybe the whole world didn't want to see me happy. I slumped against the wall, taking my dad's picture off the wall with me. I sank down on the hardwood floor, cradling the picture in my arms, hugging it tight. I missed Dad so much. "Dad, what just happened?" I asked in vain.