Cheating Boyfriend Book I: Nothing is Perfect

Chapter 54 - Where am I ? part II

Rina’s POV

I was wondering where I was. I don’t remember being here. Where is it here anyway? How come I feel like I’m a girl? The girl that doesn’t know what she desires. Why was I here in the pit of darkness? I remember being in Gellert park. And I saved a girl named Kiana. And then I met her friends. I don’t know if I call those guys her friends. But, hey who am I supposed to ask about it? I guess using too much of the power surging within me took a toll on my body. I know for a fact that my memories are hazy. I don’t remember much about my childhood. Nor do I remember anything. I feel like parts of my memories are blocked. Maybe trauma that caused it?

Or maybe my boyfriend is hiding something from me. And the fact that I noticed my childhood best friend Jocelynn is hiding something from me. She never does. She would tell me anything without me asking her. Why do I feel like something doesn’t feel right to me? I wonder if I ever got the memories that I have forgotten. Would it change me? Would my behavior change? Would my opinions of others change as well? Because, deep down I am afraid. Afraid of knowing the truth. A part of me wants to remember. But, If I remember everything; will I ever look at my parents and friends the same way? But, if I do remember everything, does that mean that there will be war at every corner? 

I could feel it deep within me. That my boyfriend did something behind my back. And this secret will be the start of a war. I feel like these people I’ve met along the way are familiar to me. Like it felt home. Like an actual family. I keep questioning myself. Am I really Katrina Sawyer? The daughter who was raised by The Sawyer Family. But; the way my mother Trini Sawyer and my father Toni Sawyer treated me was utterly different. It wasn’t the same feeling as when my parents’ treated their flesh and blood. I could tell that I don’t look anything alike to my parents. I don’t have the same physical appearance as any of my parents. 

For instance; when I met my brother Ren Sawyer; he had the same features as mother. And when I met my sister Rei Sawyer; she had the same features as father. I also keep hearing that voice. It keeps telling me to find them. Find who exactly? I’m getting frustrated. While I was thinking, I was walking endlessly in the pitch of darkness. I couldn’t feel anything around me. It was completely and utterly dark. As I was walking, I heard the voice again. 

“ Come on, you’re almost there “

“ You can do it. Never give up ! “

I follow the sound of the voice. It feels familiar. The voice continues to ever change. The voice I heard was a female. As I continue to follow it, the voice leads me to a road. I recognize this place. The road led me to a village. A village that poor people live in. After I reached the end of the road, there was a pitch of white light. I ran towards it. When I ran, I heard the cry of a baby’s voice. Is this a part of my memory too? I hear a voice speaking in filipino language. I think it was visayan. And then I saw the name of the city in big letters. It says ‘ Talisay, Cebu, Philippines ‘ .

TALISAY, CEBU, PHILIPPINES

I cannot believe this. This city was really so damn hot. It never snows at all. It was like being in a desert. Except there’s no sand. It was just a lot of buildings and houses. As well as more villages. Is this where I was born? Is this part of my memory? Is this it? I saw a woman laying in a bed. I believe it’s a hospital bed. Some pamphlets I saw near the wall were written in chinese. Wait if I’m in the Philippines; why is this here? I heard a voice. The voice says “ Welcome to Chung Hua Hospital “. Is this where I was born? But, that’s impossible. The mother that raised me told me she found me. So, how is this possible?  Was I born as a human? But that cannot be. 

I felt out of place here and there. Like I don’t belong here. I was standing at the sidelines. I was watching what was playing right before my eyes. And then the scenery changes again. The place was unknown to me. It was hazy.

Unknown place

I don’t think I’m dreaming. This feels so realistic. I saw Jocelynn walking with me. I look up at the sky. It was really a night out with stars and the moon was lit. I felt like someone was following us. I saw myself leaning into her ear. And I whisper into her.

“ Do you trust me ? “

I say to Jocelynn near her ear. She just nodded at me. 

“ Don’t look now, but someone is following us “

“ Did you do something or anger someone ? “

I sigh as I question her, while I am near her ear. I whisper to her. I saw her shaking her head ‘ no ‘. I sigh.

“ Don’t turn your head, okay bestie. We don’t want to alarm them “

She nodded at me. She sigh as well. I could tell she was trembling in fear. She also wonder who these people are. I saw myself grabbing her hand in my hand. I didn’t even know if she was cold. I saw yourself walking.

“ Come on, it’s not safe here. Let’s go back to my ‘ place ‘ “

(It’s not really my place, it’s mostly my parents) as I saw myself thinking. And I shrug my shoulders.

Jocelynn just nodded her head to me. We walk to a building that looks like an apartment. We had to pretend this was our building to shake them off.

“ Look bestie, make sure you have your cell phone ready okay ? “

“ We are almost to the apartment that belongs to my ‘ parents ‘ “

“ I will unlock the door, so you could enter the building “

“ Hide yourself well. And don’t come out when I tell you too okay ? “

I saw myself instructing her as I didn’t leave my eyes. I look around my surroundings. She nodded at me. She didn’t questioning me. Which I find it odd. Was this part of her plan? No I shouldn’t be suspicious of my childhood best friend. Why does this always happen? Danger and drama always lurks around. It seem Jocelynn brought them here. Drama always follows Jocelynn around. And I had to fix them. As for danger, this is the first time she ever experience danger. I saw a group of men coming from all directions. I had to step out of the shelter. I didn’t want to lead them there. I side glanced at my bestie one more time. I know where she was hiding. I gave her one quick smile before I left. I heard a ding from Jocelynn. 

Jocelynn’s text to Katrina

Be safe out there bestie. Come back alive

That one text she sent me made me happy. I’m not that happy. But, I'm just a tiny bit happy. I still wonder what she meant by ‘ come back alive ‘. Did she know about this? hmm.. I was thinking. However; I didn’t let my guard down. I have good hearing. So, I could hear footsteps a mile away. Does Jocelynn know that I won’t come back alive? Is that why she says that? This was the part where I couldn’t read her. It’s like she closed it off. Or the fact that I was actually a human. And I didn’t know how to read people. I saw myself texting Jocelynn. While, I looked around where the footstep was coming from.

Katrina’s text to Jocelynn

Thanks bestie. I’ll try to come back alive. But, If something happens to me; I want you to be safe. Don’t ever leave your own home alone. Nor don’t ever be home alone.

After I saw myself texting her, the footsteps I heard came out of hiding. What I saw was astounding. It wasn’t shocking. It wasn’t surprising. It just felt like these groups of people felt familiar to me. But, why did they follow us? I stand my ground. I could see the group of people were wearing coats. The ones that protect your head when it reads. Not only that, it’s also hiding your face from others. One of them stepped up and tried his best to approach me. He thought that if he does that I won’t be startled. When he was five feet apart, he finally started talking. But, he was talking in a native language that I didn’t understand. The man had a feeling I couldn’t understand him.

He approached me. This time I was face-to-face with him. I raise my head to look at him. I could see his eyes. It was bright blue like the ocean. His eyes were sucking me slowly. I still didn’t let my guard down. His eyes were sad. It was as if he was looking at my soul. And when I look at him, I let my guard down. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I didn’t hear another footstep behind me. A tall man came from behind me. He thought I was going to hurt him. He grabbed my head. He squeezed my head like a football.

“ Put me down you big ogre “

The group of people started to laugh. They shake their heads.

“ Ni yongyuan bu hui gaibian. Ni haishi nage jiao bieren mingzi de nuhai “ [You never change. You’re still the same girl calling people names]

I saw myself being somewhat afraid. And that I heard someone speak in chinese. I still see the big ogre squeezing my head like a football. He thought it was fun to scare the living sh*t out of me. Which he almost did. If he did, I might piss myself. I sigh. I still struggle. I thought the man would snap my neck. But, he didn’t. I just heard the man behind me speaking another native language. I think it was in Latin. After he squeezed my head so hard, he let me go. I held my head. I wanted to see if my head was alright. Except, I felt a throbbing pain in my head. It felt like it was going to explode.

“ Ni hai hao ma, wo de nushi ? “

The man in front of me was speaking in chinese. But, for some reason I could understand what he was saying. It was like he was speaking in English

“ Are you alright my lady ? “

I looked up to him as I was crunching down in a sitting position.

“ What did you call me ? “

I said to him as I tilt my head to the side. I was still holding my head. Because, it was in pain.

“ I’m not your lady. And who are you guys ? Why are you following us ? “

I said that to him. But, others could hear it. However; they don’t understand English. For an odd reason, the way I speak in English sound like I was speaking to them in chinese

“ Ni jao wo shenme ? “

“ Wo bushi ni de nuren nimen shi shei ? Ni weisheme genze women ? “

The group of people heard it. They were really happy. They could finally understand me. I couldn’t believe myself. How did I know how to speak chinese? The man in front of me stepped back. He was very happy that I could understand him. But, he didn’t want to hug me. Since, I might run away from him. Once he steps back, another person steps forward. But, he was five feet apart from me like the first one. I look up at him as I raise my face. His eyes were so alluring. It was so bright green. It kind of reminds me of looking at an emerald that sparkles when excited.

“ Ni liaojie women ma? “ [You understand us?]

The second person with bright green eyes spoke in chinese. But, for some reason I could understand the person. The voice sounds like another male voice. I nodded my head at him. He was very happy. I stood up slowly, so I didn't faint. When I got up, I saw him ready to run towards me. It felt like he wanted to hug me. The tension in the air was awkward. I prepared myself. The second person ran up to me. But, strangely; I somehow dodge him. I just look at him strangely. I blink a couple of times. The second person came back to where the others were. The third person came into view.

“ Women zhi genzhe ni. Bushi he ni zai yiqi de ling yige nuhai “ [We only follow you. Not the other girl that was with you]

The voice spoke. It came from the third person. The voice was yet another male. I find it odd that I could understand chinese. Was I mixed? Like I’m filipino and chinese. But, that’s impossible. Mother told me that I’m filipino. So, how did I speak and understand chinese? I tilt my head to the side of him as I was talking to myself in my mind. The third person repeated what he said.

“ Women zhi genzhei ni “

The third person said to me at the same time he pointed his finger at me.

“ Are you saying that you all followed me ? “

The third person and the rest nodded their heads. I didn’t quite understand. I didn’t have to speak chinese at them. They could understand English really well. 

“ Bushi he ni zai yiqi de ling yige nuhai “

The third person spoke to me in chinese.

“ Are you saying you’re not following the other girl that was with me ? “

The third person nodded his head. The others also nodded their heads.

“ You know, you didn't have to follow me all the way here. This just look like you’re stalking me “

The others start to frown at what I said to them. 

“ The other girl you mention is my childhood best friend. Her name is Jocelynn Johnson “

The others gasp at what I said to them. Was that really shocking ? I could hear them whispering. The third person who I could identify as a male approached me again. This time he closed the distance to me. I had to look up, because he was taller than me. I’m 5’5” and he appears to be 6’2. Looking up kind of hurt my neck. The fourth person approached me slowly. The way the fourth person walks appears to me to be a male. Let me guess these six are all male. Great! I do not want a harem.

“ Ni shuo ni er shi zui hao de pengyou shi qiao silin yuehanxun ma ?“ [Did you say your childhood best friend is Jocelyn Johnson?]

I understood what the fourth person said. I turn my face to him. The fourth person’s eyes were dazzled. I thought I saw him having red eyes. But that can’t be. I wasn’t afraid of him, which I find odd. I nodded at him when he asked me a question. They started to get angry. They didn’t like the name ‘ Johnson ‘ . When they looked at me, they weren’t angry at all. It felt like their anger dissolved into nothingness. I didn’t need to ask what’s wrong. It seems like these people don’t like my childhood best friend. The others could hear footsteps. They look at each other. The other two people approached me. They gave me a strange card. I didn’t look at it. 

They just wanted me to have it. And they put the card in my pocket. They knew the card wouldn't fly out. Since, they zip the pocket up. In a flash, they left right away. When I turned around where the other footstep where; it came from my childhood best friend Jocelynn Johnson. After that the scenery changes again.