Without Me

Lake

The water's reflection lit up the area unexpectedly. He could see the water flowing along its own path. The sparkling night sky and the surrounding trees. He breathed in sharply, surprised at how fresh the air smelt apart from the small whiffs of nature. He never really thought there would be something like this out here. It also made him wonder why the school decided to build the place right beside something like this. He imagined it would have been better if it was turned into a forest reserve but he kept those thoughts to himself. He smiled a little and looked at Mark who had slowed down to a stop.

"So? What do you think?" The taller boy asked. Jonathan could only nod in approval. The place was beautiful. And it seemed so untouched by the outside world. It gave off an ethereal feeling. Mark sat down and so did Jonathan.

"Beautiful," he could only whisper, afraid he would disturb the flow of nature somehow. Mark let out a melodic laugh and nodded.

"Sure is. It's a getaway from that damn school," Mark replied. "But here. Nobody disturbs me. It feels like I'm someplace else."

Jonathan nodded in agreement, unconsciously turning to look at Mark. Admiring the blonde locks of his that shimmered lightly under the light's reflection. Mark turned to meet his eyes and a grin graced his face.

"Hungry?" He asked and opened the basket that he had brought along. He was surprised he even had a basket but Jonathan guessed he probably brought it along to carry two person's portion worth of dinner.

"The cafeteria was giving out some kind of pork chop and all. I managed to put them into bags so it'll be easier to eat and dispose of."

Mark handed him a paper bag and Jonathan nodded. He opened it and smelt the food. He smiled since his stomach grumbled slightly. He started eating and just enjoyed the scenery.

Once that was dealt with, he placed the bag into the basket and just went back to looking at the river.

"You come here often?" He asked since they had been sitting in silence for a long while.

"Yeah. At least 3 days a week," he replied. "It's not like I have friends an- I mean. Well." Mark pursed his lips and seemed to look at Jonathan for some reaction. Jonathan's expression was a mixture of shock and something else.

"Well. You seem popular. I thought you'll have friends," he mumbled after some thought.

"Popular?" There was a slight shake in Mark's voice when he spoke. It didn't go unheard by Jonathan since they were seated just right beside one another. "Not really. Getting into trouble sure gets your name spread around the school, huh. I caught Viktor stealing something of mine and I got pissed that one time. I didn't really want to punch him."

Jonathan nodded, wondering what Viktor could be trying to steal from Mark. His room didn't seem to have anything worth selling, not to be offensive. He kept those words to himself though as he watched Mark fiddling with his fingers.

"So... it was just one accident?" Jonathan asked instead and Mark nodded.

"You don't think I'm some gangster, do you? I've gotten into minor fights before but none that I've started in this school," he replied with a small sigh. Jonathan hummed softly and smiled a little, glad that Mark really wasn't the guy that everyone thought him to be. A nice guy. But how did he end up in this school?

"So... how did you end up here then?" Jonathan let the question slip. Mark let out an awkward laugh and shrugged.

"Minor stuff..."

Jonathan nodded, understanding the feeling of not wanting to tell others. He didn't really feel like mentioning why he ended up here anyways. It made them feel guilty and accused, both emotions that they shouldn't have to feel. He rubbed his own arm slightly.

His eyes were still lingering on Mark and the other constantly glanced over as well. He wondered if his glances meant something or if he was just checking if Jonathan still had his attention on him. Whichever it was, it made him feel tingly inside. He couldn't tell what these feelings were yet since they have only met for two days but he hoped they were the right kind of feelings.

He offered Mark a smile when he glanced over again. This time, Mark didn't turn away. He kept his eyes on Jonathan, causing the other's cheeks to heat up slightly but it was fine since it was dark out although Jonathan ended up fidgeting slightly.

Mark leaned closer and smiled his usual side smile. Jonathan paused, unsure what was happening. Whatever it was, he could tell it was going to be either terrible or great.

He didn't have enough time to interpret what was happening when Mark used an arm to push him down onto the grass. He squeaked slightly and held onto Mark's shoulder, shocked by the situation. His lips were met with the other's. Gentle at first, making him melt into the kiss.

This is wrong. What is going on?

No. Jonathan.

Think.

React.

Jonathan.

He couldn't push Mark away and the kiss got hungrier but Mark pulled away, glassy eyes staring hungrily into Jonathan's surprised eyes as though it was looking for some approval in his actions. When Jonathan finally had to breathe, it was sharp and quick. It took all he could to just stand up without exerting any force on Mark. Mark was, of course, taken aback by his action but neither had time to stop the other when Jonathan started running back to the school.

"Jonathan!" Mark yelled in a worried tone. Jonathan had to clench every muscle he had just to stop himself from turning back.

No, can't. Can't look back. Can't let this happen.

But why was it just so irresistible?

He knew he wanted it. He had craved it. The soft touch of the other's lips. The intimacy. But why couldn't he accept it either? He cursed himself as he made it back to the fence. He couldn't stop now. He went through it and headed straight to his dorm room.

He couldn't understand what he wanted when it actually happened. Contradicting thoughts started to cross his mind, telling him this was wrong. He would only hurt Mark and he would also hurt Chuck.

He had to stay out of trouble. Oh... But why was it just so enticing?