Soul Searching

Ugly Green Walls

Three days after setting out from Devon's home, Isaac found himself standing on a small wooden train station platform in a downpour. Winston was a medium sized town, but did have some roads, and as he hoped, a train station.

He'd spent one night on the road. Luckily, it was still another day before the storm moved in. That might was a muggy one spent on the forest dirt. He was kept up most of the night with thoughts of venomous snakes crawling into his pant legs.

He continued walking, until his blistered feet screamed at him to stop. He didn't stop, except to relieve himself, drink water and eat. He finally arrived in town after dark on second night, but found a room available in the local hotel. It was a small room in the "Black Quarter" of town - segregation was in full swing in this time frame after all, but the room was at least warm and dry.

He slept like the dead that night, glad to have a belly full of warm food from the bar downstairs and dry (mostly clean) bed. The next morning, he packed up and headed to the station. He booked a ticket to the biggest nearby town and checked his crystal periodically just to make sure she wasn't around. Not a single sign of her.

After buying a ticket (in the "Colored" section, which infuriated him to remember just how horribly brown folks were treated for so long), he had about an hour to kill before the next train was due. He took time to walk around town and visited a general store to grab some traveling food. He looked for more sardines, but found that the closest thing was dried salted trout. He stocked up on it but didn't feel terribly excited about it. He imagined it would be unbearably chewy, and later would find that to be true.

After hanging around town, he walked back to the train and stood patiently on the platform. He had peered up towards the sky and saw dark low clouds forming. He hoped the train would be on time. There was no covering at the platform so he was bound to get drenched if the timing was off.

Minutes later, a fat drop of rain slapped his shoulder before releasing into a full curtain of water. He tucked his satchel under his coat and flipped his collar up around his neck. Rainwater bounced off his coat, into his face.

And wouldn't you know it, the train was late after all.

When it finally arrived and the handful of passengers departed, he squelched his way into the train car. He felt similar to when he had first transferred into this body and had awoken in the middle of a creek, soaked to the bone.

He took off his coat and hung it on the arm rest to drip dry. The train whistled as the final arrangements for boarding were taken care of. He watched out of the foggy window as a rain soaked man and woman ran towards the train, arms flailing in an attempt to signal the train conductor not to leave.

They stopped at the platform and Isaac saw that it was a young couple and that, the woman was several months pregnant. Devon looked away with a jerk of the head, surprised at the pain he felt in his heart. He wondered how Helena would have looked pregnant. He imagined she would have glowed like the sun.

The couple boarded the train quickly, moving to the "White's Only Section" area of the train, also dripping wet. The train released it's brakes with a lurch while they were walking down the aisle and they gripped eachother for balance.

They found seats and cuddled next to eachother. His heart strained again and he forced himself to look away. Not that he wasn't happy for them. They deserve to be with each other and he hoped they enjoyed every second of it. Because it can be taken away in an instant.

His mind flashed to the hospital room Helena spent her last days in. Its ugly green walls providing no comfort. At the time he'd wondered why they always painted hospital walls a muted green. He thought of that green color often. The color of a rot and vomit.

He remembered being with her in that room. They'd spent months there. Back when she was still alive and he was still himself.

He caught Devon's reflection in the window as the train gained speed, sending trees and scattered houses zooming past. Devon's face was so different than his own. His old body was lighter skinned, an golden olive color from his half-Greek heritage. His dark hair was curly and full bodied. His nose was straight and slightly elongated.

Helena had made the joke that he was her own personal Greek God. He didn't know about that but he never thought he was bad looking. At 6 feet tall, he was a decent height and he played tennis for most of high school and college which kept him in shape. It pained him to think that he would never know how that body would age because he was done with it. And there was no going back.

The Magic Man with the red velvet jacket told him there would be a cost to use the amulet. He hadn't told him what that cost would be and Isaac hadn't understood until it was too late. Isaac had figured out the answer to that mystery all on his own.

In exchange for borrowing the amulet's gifts to search for his love, he'd never be able to return to his body.

It was a trade he gladly made and never looked back on. He promised her he would do everything to find her and giving up his physical body was just part of the deal.

He glanced back towards the couple and this time smiled with a touch of melancholy thinking, Good for them.

He turned back to the window and stared at the moving scenery blurring past.